Splitting twins in year 5?

[pag3turn3r]

Hi everyone.

When my non-ID twins started primary, I asked for them to be together in the same class. It's a 3 form entry school.

It worked out very well as they had separate friendship groups but took comfort from being in the same class together, especially as one of them was very shy.

Now, in year4 they're both confident and have friends but their friendship groups are more mixed and it's causing friction. They accuse each other of stealing friends, leaving each other out and it's leading to rows at home.

Also, they are called "evil twin" and "good twin" which they both hate (as do I!).

I really think I should ask for them to be separated but they don't want this. They both love being in the class they're in, even though it's leading to rows.

What do you think I should do?

Unfortunately I think this would be an issue due to an incident with one of the children/a parent from one of the other classes. A child was moved from our class to a different one for the incident...I don't want to go into detail as it's outing but it could potentially compromise me and my girls.

I have boy/girl twins so it might have made my decision easier but I asked for them to be separated right from P1 My girl was pretty confident but her brother not as much and he relied on her a lot. I felt she deserved to have a bit of breathing space while at school without having to “look after” her brother and he had to learn how to stand on his own two feet without his sister as a safety net. I would say definitely try to talk with the school about splitting them up. They might not be happy but it will be better for them both in the long term

This sounds like this conversation should have happened a few months ago rather than now once classes have been assigned. (assuming they are mixing up all the classes for Yr 5 (when I was in school it was yr3 and yr5 the mixes happened)

the classes weren't mixed this year, they were mixed in y3. I already said I wish I'd done that back then but there's nothing I can do about it as I don't have a time machine. I want advice and support for moving on, not admonishment for making a bad choice 2 years ago

We have non ID B/G twins who were split after KS1. We didn’t have any problems but that’s probably down to them being B/G and primary school friend groups more marked by sex.
Even now, people forget they are twins they have been in different classes for so long.

Surely one of them gets a really bad deal as they have to leave all their friends whilst the other gets to keep them all that seems unfair . Unless the classes are mixed up anyway in year 5

Split them! They’re separate people and need their independence and identity. I say that as an identical twin.

I just wanted to say that I've never treated them the same. They're different people with different hobbies and interests. That's why I was happy at first for them to be in the same class :)

Yes, this is the thing that was bothering me. Though one of them has 2 good friends in the other class.

We too have one sporty popular one and one quieter more studious (non id twin girls)! They were together all through primary and into secondary. It was discussed many times at primary and their teachers were happy for them to be together as although DD2 is more studious the attainment gap isn’t that big. They were kept together at secondary because of covid bubbles. At this point I would have separated them if we’d had the option. We had all the friendship drama etc. They all prefer her (DD1) etc. Once they chose different subjects they weren’t as together as much and have really thrived. If you think they would benefit, do it. If not now, secondary isn’t far off. They are very different, but at 17 get on really well. The childhood squabbling is far behind us.

My point of view as someone involved in the shool system is to split them up in two different classes with another teacher they haven't met yet, so not the teacher they would have both gotten if they stayed together.
This should level the playing field for both of them and neither should feel left out or disadvantaged over one another.

They will have to split up at some point. If it is affecting personal developement and class climate (which it seems from your description), it is also preferred from a teachers point of view to split a set of twins up, to keep the class calm and focused.

I understand that this is not an easy decision to make, but I would view it as an opportunity for personal growth as a family and for your children to be more accepting of each others personal space and preferances.

It would be very unfair to leave one in the current class and move the other one IMO. They have established friendship groups and it will feel like a punishment to whoever is moved. The playing together at playtime isn’t valid unless you have a seriously tight group of friends. Children naturally gravitate towards the children that they have shared experiences with - ie the class that they’re in. I work in a 3 form entry school and have done many times snd whilst they do play with children in other classes sometimes it’s certainly not the norm. Sorry if that makes things worse. I have twins moving to year 5 this year and it’s a one form entry school so the choice is taken away. If you decide not to move them then absolutely clamp down on the ‘evil twin’ comments, get the teacher involved and have consequences for anyone that says it as it’s actually very rude.

This. I have gg non id twins.
they were split in Y7 (both happy to by then). By Y9 they were in different schools which was a logistical nightmare but important for them (and neither in the same school they started Y7 in, so no “twin” identity and could be their own people.)

if your girls don’t want it, I don’t see how you can manage this without causing massive resentment especially for the twin that moves “out”