D'y ever wonder if Shabs will put Lewis down?!!!!

[TiggerLicious]

Yes!!!! Touch down!!!!

Victory dance!!! I've made it!!!!

Isaac 13lb 1 1/2oz
Thomas 16lb 15 1/2oz
Quite a difference. I should put some more piccies on as they are soo different now.

I'm here girls. Just attempting a roundup but its bloody hard!!!!! I need someone to roundup for my roundup I am taking volunteers now for when I'm on hols...........

School fair.....um...... home baking MASSIVE hit (£3 for a huge cake, £1 for 4 slices of traybake), face painting FAB (offer say 3 designs for girls and 3 for boys, then get good at them), body tattoos seem a big hit even though I personally hate them, a quick nail varnish for the girls. Throw a wet sponge at a teacher is a must but must be abandoned on a wet day. We had bags of popcorn at ours (50p or £1) and it went down well (you can usually source 60p bags of kernels which make HEAPS).

Trips What can I say? That you are, and each of you, frustrated. That shouting FUCKOFF at the top of your voice is allowed. That bad behaviour is acceptable, within limits. That hugs and reassurances are a must. That when the chips are down you must each recognise that no matter what, you are still on the same side. Even when you argue, you are on the same side. I wish I was close.

Shabs, Em has maybe done too much IMHO. She should spend a month at home, making everyone come to her. I never babymooned but if I had, I might not be in (some of) the damn mess I got myself into. Mars introduced me to babymooning and, if I am lucky enough to have another baby, jeez I will babymoon like its brand new.

Some time after I had my DD1, and I was staying at home an awful lot and retreating into myself......I bought a book called "At Home No-One Hears You Scream". It is set out very simply.....a set of case studies. Most of the girls had PND and I can't help but feel loads of people don't need to end up like that.

I wasn't sure if I did or didn't. Anyway, it was a good read for me. It showed me that there is an enormous pressure to be all-loving, all-giving and all-smiley post birth. And that that is often a flying F* away from how you actually feel.

Someone needs to make it ok to feel daunted. And overhwelmed. And unhappy and loving your baby. And lost. And bewildered. And loving and hating in the same out breath.

I am not ashamed to say it took me 12-18 months to feel ok about being a mum. I never wanted not to be one, but I really struggled with adjusting to it. It is the best, ever road to walk...............but you never find a rainbow without the rain.

I would be delighted to send you the book for her. But I don't want to put ideas into her mind or lead her down a road that is not hers. I am sure you will let me know and if you and she would like to read it, I will happily send it on. It might not change anything but it is interesting. It became my friend, my "its ok to feel crap and be smiley".

I might be talking shit. You are all welcome to ignore me.......

My God FG you really write well. I can identify with all that you have just said. It is sometimes so hard to be smiley at all times when you are screaming inside. Everyone looks at me and DP and thinks we are blessed, and with the DTs we are, but it doesn't stop me feeling shit and that I am not making the grade for what people expect. Then I feel guilty for not being what they expect me to be.
Thats when I hit the hagen daas. Yum.

Hi Frumpster,
See Ive cheered up just hearing a friendly voice! Wonder what we do all sound like, Shabs is quite posh I think, I love her voice, though whats its like in Faliraki at 11pm on a karioke machine I dont know! Dh just gone up to bed and given the boys another ticking off............. they just dont learn! Yes, I think everyone is frustrated, and I am just exhausted physically and mentally atm. Spent 3 hours yesterday in a hospital again, getting to hate them already, yet got a very long way to go. Poor H though, he looked so fed up yesterday, more needles, sitting looking embarassed in a hospital gown amongst a waiting room full of people, its not funny. I am not sure that going to Cornwall next week is the right thing to do either, feel he is going to please me, he I am sure would rather stay here and carry on the normal routine. I just need to escape, and its the first time in 10 years weve had this opportunity. My head is spinning with it all, I should go to bed earlier than I do, you all know what time I am on here to! I need me time, when at last everyone else is in bed and asleep, I like to be here on my own. Does that make sense?

Frumpster................feeling guilty, your round up is wonderful but hard work, well done!! Love the thought of the mighty Shabster sitting in her houscoat

Total sense Trips. I also love the nighttime hours. I have to force myself to bed. I love the not being answerable to anyone (except the midnight walkers in this house!!!! someone always need a bloody pee or has a sore bit!). I love the quiet so that you can here bits of the house giving up for the night, hear cars coming home, and hear life going on outside your own four walls. It is a lovely time of my day.

I'm sorry this year will be so crap. FWIW, going away is absolutely the best thing. Your life is not normal this year and therefore it makes total sense not to treat it as though is is normal. So if the children are away, being at home with the lack of routine might feel really bloody weird with everything else...... Go on your break. It might not be what you hoped for, it might not even be fun, but its the best thing to do. Do you have a book to take?

Merly THANK YOU!

No book as Nicky wil have filled our room with lovely books and mags! She is my best best friend although we only get to see each other once a year! Actually this night last year we were all down ther, and she and I went to a ball! The camel ball, it was a huge barn with a glass wall down one side and 15 camels were watching us looneys dance the night away. Nicky and I were dressed to the nines but had false rubber teeth in, God how we laughed!

Trips, I missed the detail of your hol.....are you staying with your friend after all? Last I heard you were booking a cottage for two.....

The ball sound FAB! Any photos you want to share?

roundup! roundup!

We were going to go to the New Forest, but couldnt find anything for under £100 a night, just b&b, so broke we couldnt afford it. Cornwall is a good 7 hour drive, so we looked at going on the train and would have got a good deal, but H being H has decided to drive which will cost us about £40 more than the train. I think hes doing it for me, he doesnt need company, but I do, we are here 24/7 and I love a friend to have a laugh with and a heart to heart. Nicky knows everything about us, I met her in 95 when some friends rented her cottage in Cornwall, that was it, best friends ever since, I love her to bits. She has her own problems health wise, has a history of haemangiomas and has to go to London on the 2nd July for a brain scan as the last scan showed several on her brain. She lives in the most beautiful old house and has several acres of land, and lots of rescue animals, its heaven! I love to walk to Cadgwith to the crab shack, I am already dreaming of a crab sandwich in the pub!

Trips, that sounds ace! Really pleased for you! DP is awaiting the PC......I'll try to pop back on after. Most inconvenient!

There were unfortuneatly photos, none of which I have seen, Nicky has them, as does the local press who took a pic of us at the bar of the local pub before we went to the ball, with our teeth in!!!

Creeping up to new thread time girls

Talking of threads does anyone know where Oj`s thread is now please?

Good evening girls.

Trips try here for OJ

The roundup was brill.
My meeting this morning re the 24/7 supermarket rocked. I wasn't even nervous. Much.

Thanks Baggy, just wanted to send her a message, isn`t she just the bravest lady! Well done Merly, did you take your soapbox?

My boys have been asleep since 5o/c. They fell asleep and went to bed in yesterday's clothes (does that make me a bad mummy?) slurping with their eyes closed. Do you think I am in for the night from hell?

You never know your luck Merly, mine sometimes did that and would surprise me by sleeping through until 6-7am! They don`t now

To add insult to injury a large spot has just appeared on my cheek and I never get spots.......grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I must away to my bed, thank you all for your company, cannot wait up again for that Shabster, missing my Radio Ga Ga, perhaps we should re-name it Rado Ya Ya!!
Night night xxx

Hello my lovelies. My next lady tried to go into labour today whilst I was at a Breastfeeding Conference. It's all slowed down now so I should get off to bed before she calls. It's a homebirth so I can't wait!

I'm turning in too. Gonna risk it. I'll report back tomorrow.

Oh my word my lovely, lovely friends. Frumpster, oh mighty Frumpster what an amazing roundup. I have told you often that you paint wonderful pictures with your words. You were spot on with the fact I have very few clothes.....my housecoat LOL I live in my stepgrandads housecoat....it is a lovely black one with DONALD TOWNSHEND written on the neck......PMSL when I had a look. He was a complete nutcase - and my proper grandad, my lovely, wonderful grandad Ernie was the first person with the ginger hair. He was about my age when he died....what a frightening thought. I look at Dan and my other 3 sons, and Lewis (with his jeans on) and see the 'strawberry blonde' ginger hair and just smile. Dan rang me tonight - well about midnight. He said 'I dont want to go back to work Mam' I said 'you have to son, that is the mans traditional role and then you come home and get the best of your bubbas.'

We talked for a little while and his voice went into almost a silent whisper. 'Got to go Mam, my little boy needs to go to bed...just carrying him up the stairs now.....I love you Mam thank you........'

Goodnight girls...all is well with the world. 'I love you Mam....thank you' who could ask for anything more.