Twins 4 months | Mumsnet

NatalieF2020 · 2021-02-16T20:13:57+00:00

I have twin boys 4 months however 3 months corrected and am really mentally struggling with twins and am just not happy, I pray that I will get over this and be happy, I feel it is just survival at present

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killickthere · 16/02/2021 20:25

Oh it's awful having twins, I remember the creeping through minute by minute, feeling sad and guilty I wasn't enjoying the babies as much as I would and could have if only they had come with a few years gap between them.

It's really hard work.

Are you a member of TAMBA? There is probably an online meeting these days. Other parents of twins similar age to yours are your best hope of sanity.

The days will pass. They will grow up and become less demanding of every fibre of your being.

Share as much as you can with their father, grandparents etc.

We had a rule that if one woke up, we'd wake the other, even tho it seemed madness it did mean we had a few minutes when both were asleep.

The car was our lifeline. When you can't cope, go for a drive with them and they will sleep.

Sleep or just lie down when they sleep. Sod anything other than baby care.

Tv is a great life saver at times.

Finally it does not hurt them to cry. Leave them to cry if you know they are safe and can't get out, if you need five minutes alone.

It passes. I miss my twin babies now they are young adults.

PowerslidePanda · 17/02/2021 09:06

You're right in the thick of it at the moment - 4 months is a tough age! Spending more time awake, bigger appetite, wanting more stimulation but not able to do anything for themselves... Mine are 1 now and it does get easier.

As Killick said - remember that everything passes; and that goes for the good things as well as the bad. They won't always be this demanding but by the time they're not, they also won't be so tiny and snuggly.

crazychemist · 22/02/2021 16:26

Hi @NatalieF2020 sounds like yours are more or less exactly the same age as mine - mine are 16 weeks, or 11 weeks by adjusted age.

It’s hard work, isn’t it! I get through th days ok (although it’s quite tediously repetitive sometimes), but bedtimes are a bit of a disaster at the moment as one twin always ends up overtired and utterly miserable. I was chatting to a friend with twins who are nearly 2, and she was very keen to emphasise how much easier she started finding it at about 6 months, when they could be happily propped up with a toy to explore or a snack to gum. We’ll get through the tricky bit to that in no time I’m sure, then hopefully it’ll be a bit more rewarding!

Do you have other children? I’ll freely admit it’s not my favourite age, I didn’t much enjoy it with my singleton either. Babies d o get A LOT easier a month or two down the road. I’ll also admit that I’m finding lockdown really tough because it makes everything so monotonous and robs you of the support of other mums. That will also ease over time, I’m sure you’ll have much more opportunity to get out and about by summer, which will totally change how you feel about days with your babies.

Twinging · 24/02/2021 16:06

I promise it gets better. Mine are 19 months now and being twins is a blessing for them with lockdown as they play with each other.

It goes so quickly, you won’t even remember how tough this is in another few months, it’s a drop in the ocean in the grand scheme of things. I actually miss mine being that age and I am broody for more!

As long as they’re clean and fed then you’re doing an amazing job, OP 😊

Original poster

NatalieF2020 · 04/03/2021 16:12

Thank you so much for your comments it is reassuring and means a lot to me

OP posts:

Hhhhhgx · 19/04/2021 20:41

Hi bit late to the party but just wanted to say my twins are about the same age and I’m finding it tough too! My one twin is I’m sure going through the 4 month sleep regression and the other a growth spurt, simultaneously. It’s such a tricky age isn’t it? Mine are so alert now and are awake for much longer in the day requiring constant entertaining or moving from one position to another. I’ve been assured it gets easier as 6 months when they can do more for themselves.

I keep thinking how much easier it would be with a singleton and how I would be able to do so much more with them/be able to give them more of my time. Though I wouldn’t change them for the world. I find it really isolating as well as I can’t drive and just leaving the house is so much more of a mission - I’m scared to go far from the house on my own.

Sorry this isn’t a very reassuring post but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. It will get better when they can sit up, hold toys, eat snacks etc. Also, it may not feel like it now but I think there are going to be many magical moments ahead that are just for us twin mummas. I think when I start to see my boys interact (acknowledge each other even) things will start to get a lot more interesting.

Hope that helps! I’m sure you are doing a fantastic job, all twin mums are bloody superheroes 💪 xxx

Heyduggee123 · 20/04/2021 12:03

@Hhhhhgx

Hi bit late to the party but just wanted to say my twins are about the same age and I’m finding it tough too! My one twin is I’m sure going through the 4 month sleep regression and the other a growth spurt, simultaneously. It’s such a tricky age isn’t it? Mine are so alert now and are awake for much longer in the day requiring constant entertaining or moving from one position to another. I’ve been assured it gets easier as 6 months when they can do more for themselves.

I keep thinking how much easier it would be with a singleton and how I would be able to do so much more with them/be able to give them more of my time. Though I wouldn’t change them for the world. I find it really isolating as well as I can’t drive and just leaving the house is so much more of a mission - I’m scared to go far from the house on my own.

Sorry this isn’t a very reassuring post but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. It will get better when they can sit up, hold toys, eat snacks etc. Also, it may not feel like it now but I think there are going to be many magical moments ahead that are just for us twin mummas. I think when I start to see my boys interact (acknowledge each other even) things will start to get a lot more interesting.

Hope that helps! I’m sure you are doing a fantastic job, all twin mums are bloody superheroes 💪 xxx

It's the hardest thing I've ever ever done. My twins are 2 now and I honestly barely remember the very early days, I think I blocked it due to PTSD lol!! Of course I jest, they are fabulous fun now and play together so so well (most of the time)

My girls turned 1 just as we went into our first lockdown, but in all honesty before that I barely attended any play groups. The only twin play group was an hours drive away and it was such a faff. I attended a few groups locally but I just got stared at, no help was forthcoming at all so I just went to my local park for a walk. Whilst they're still BF or on formula it does feel massively daunting to go out and make sure you have got everything.

It does get a little easier, they are no easier to look after but you get into your groove a bit better and you get to know each other a bit more and feel more confident to do new things. Twins are fabulous and we are truly blessed. When some idiot says "double trouble" I always reply with "double the love"