"D'y ever wonder what Paolo would look like in my shower?" <<because I do>> For FG xxx

[largeginandtonic]

How are the pox today HM???

email me on lovelymarslady at aol dot com and I'll tell you honey.

HM I had to go through something similar with my employer when I wanted to go back 4 days after DD1 was born. To cut a long story short, the law is written totally in favour of the employer, even to the point of listing reasons they can give you for rejecting your request. My employer refused my request, so I got legal advice and threatened them with legal action. They settled out of court. I can't go into detail here, because of our compromise agreement, but if you give me your email address, I could tell you more if you think it would be helpful.

Overrun glad the grobags are doing the trick (hope it lasts ).

Kelly hope your DT2 is recovered now. My MIL has sooo many stories from when she was a paed nurse about children falling out of windows, having shinnied along window sills. Am a bit worried about my two working out how to get their vests off without undoing the poppers.

pixi sorry you've had a crap day. hope tomorrow is better.

on the subject of the neighbours hearing you shout. Home this afternoon after taking DD1 to hairdressers, late for tea, everyone hungry - they'd had a few crisps in the car to keep them going but DD1 had dropped hers and I'd refused to give her any more. So when she was hanging round the car door I went back to find out why and was then heard by all my neighbours shouting 'NO DON'T EAT THEM OFF THE FLOOR!' .

I'm running to bed. Last night I said goodnight to you girls and got caught in a daft conversation about thongs til god knows when

Pixi, this is the really tough bit. You get days when you feel you've made it, kept everyone reasonably happy, struggled through, not shouted too much and felt so so. Then the very next day nothing works and even getting out the door or for a wee seems so far away and the frustration is huge. Keep telling yourself you are doing your best. You are. The DTs will remember none of this so if all you can manage is to feed them and leave them for a bit then so be it. Mine spent a lot of their first weeks in the garden exercising their lungs but otherwise I would have really lost the plot. Hang on. Grit your teeth. It will change xxxx.

I sent teh email IMMEDIATELY! the sw will prob send me a pissy reply in return, but I don't give a toss. Prozac rocks. TBH I've been restrained for quite a while, and I'm sick of being ignored so it was a long time coming. And since I can write very nicely when I want to it was reasoned and lucid, so sod it! I am NOT a bad mother (even tho my son does jump out of windows ) and I refuse to have other people ignoring me and tellign me what they think is best for my children and our family. I will be sooo glad when we finally get rid of them.

Rock and roll Kelly!!! As I persistently remind myself, you only regret the things you didn't do.

Anyway, he didn't jump out the window, he merely investigated a theory........very intelligent young man for doing that so young

oh ladies........DT2 and the baby have the pox......and DT1 has just had to come home from nursery as he has had 4 "loose" nappies since lunchtime.

DT2 is currently removing every toy from the toy box.

This morning I found 4 pickle forks in my handbag.

The joy of twins.........

HG - hang in there. My DTs spent the morning removing all the toys from DS3's room and putting them in their wardrobe, so I am now afraid to open the door and haven't the energy to put it all back - at least it looks tidy!

On pickle forks - DT1 has taken to keeping his euros in the fridge. Don't ask me where he got them from in the first place. I tried to pay for their lunch at pre-school with them last week by mistake

evening ladies, will catch up eventually but just wanted to pop in and say ggggggrrrrrrr, will be back later

Why do these things always happen to MEEE!

I decided to be a good mummy and take the kids to the park after school and thought I would take the box of glass for recycling on my way. Up the school a mum I don't know asked dd over for tea one night next week. We sorted taht out, exchanged pleasentries then headed back to our cars, where she was parked jsut behind me. I opened the boot to let dd in, and about ten million beer bottles fell out!!!
Now she prob thinks I'm an alchy I hadn't taken it since before Xmas, and it was overflowing. It took me 20 mins to pick it all up and try to kick all the broken glass out the way.

oh Kelly, you are not alone. I often take some of my bottles to the bottle bank because I am embarassed about how many there are in the recycling tub that we leave out every fortnight!!

Tracykb - I sent you a message through Mumsnet this morning, not sure if you have got it yet? Re the whole work situation.

i have had a day from hell, as I said earlier DT2 adn baby have chicken pox and DT1 was sent home from nursery with loose nappies (not that I have seen any poo from him since he cmae home at lunchtime).

Now although they both seemed under the weather they have both seriously played up at bedtime, I keep hearing them getting out of bed and keep having to go up there. I just want to chill with a glass of something cold.

To top the week off (remember yesterday was the nightmare meeting with my boss), DH, who I thought was going to take a job in Leeds and be home every night is being pressured to stay with his job in London and is thinking about it. AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Can anyone hear me screaming?

HM I hear you babe, I hear you!!! (I also hear my DTs drowning each other and must run). London/Leeds, London/Leeds

Tell him to think about having only 1 year to live. Where would he work in that year? It happens. Live each day like it was your last, thats my new motto. Not depressing, just focussed.

Kelly, I am wetting myself, TRULY

his trouble is that he is too money focused. We talk about what we will do in the future but it always goes on hold because "oooh I could just stay in this job a bit longer and earn some more". All well and good of course and admirable to want to provide for your family, but I just know that one day we will wake up and be 60 and think, oh, why didnt we.....?

Hello:
Kelly, how making HM, what bad luck, my dc seem to be immune to chicken pox, they seem to get everything else but not that, but having said that ds1 best friend has it, and ds1 has his fourth birthday party on Saturday, so hey, lets face it, all mine are going to come down with it on friday Best of luck with it anyway. Hang tough where work is concerned, I bet they cave. Its hard to find good competent staff, you don't just throw that away easily.
Fg, very good advice, as you say, we all think that we have all the time in the world to do stuff, be together as a family, and who really knows.
Thats where we are lucky cos, dh is very under paid for what he does, so we have no such dilemmas. I have myself a family man, who is home by 6.10pm every evening, and family time always comes first. But its not really that simple is it, as sometimes family time is spent worrying about money, not just little niggles but real anxiety about financial security and making sure we can afford to feed and cloth are little ones I guess no one way, is ever without its advantages and disadvantages

HM I got your email and have just sent you an essay - hope there's something in amongst all the waffle that will be useful .

FG Am sitting here with sunday's copy of the observer food monthly next to me, open to a lovely picture of your toyboy, sorry Paolo in his family's chip shop in Paisley . Is that anywhere near you (sorry geography of Scotland shamefully awful )? Could you pop in for a fish supper one day? He is gorgeous though.

Too true overrun. I find that we each of us rob Peter to pay Paul no matter what the decision. I am lucky enough to have great comfort financially but that does not mean life is peachy. After 10 years of living a certain life, DP and I have made changes this year and we will keep doing it, all for the better.

My friend who lost her husband 12 days before Christmas is living hour by hour with a 2yr old, a 4yr old and a 6yr old and no family around. I am using her as my motivation to live my life the way I should have done a long time ago. I have thrown caution out of the window and I'm doing stuff I haven't done my whole life through. Not big stuff. But never in my life have I had the confidence to invite 3 people ( who I don't know very well) to my home and cook for them. It sounds like nothing but for me that was a very big thing. They had no idea that I was only happy and confident and relaxed and being the perfect hostess on the outside and that inside I was crumbling.

I have committed myself to 3 large projects I would previously have shrunk away from. I am exercising 3 times a week. I have an extremely good friend (of mine and DP) coming half way round the world for a 2 night stay. (The last time he did it my DD was 18 months old and I was in the throes of a crippling depression. The hour before he was due to arrive my house was a state, I was convinced I couldn't do it and I was sobbing (pathetic girl I was but ill and too proud to admit it). This time I can't wait to see him and I don't give a damn how he finds us as long as he's here.

I don't mean to rant......

Money is nothing. It only buys you choice. And sometimes we don't have a choice no matter what is in the bank.

TKB!!!! Paisley is about an hours drive from me, I'm east and he is west . I thought it was ice cream but, thats right, it is a chippy. I love him all the more . Think it would look too obvious to shove all my kids in the car after the school run and say I got lost on the way home and we need 2 suppers and 2 small chips? I would obviously have every hair on my body ripped out beforehand, 'cept a landing strip and my mane that waterfalls down my back (I WISH).

tkb - just got it thanks! Will read it properly and reply to you tomorrow.

Hi Overrun, hows the sleeping going, I have had a mare tonight.....keep hearing thudding from upstairs just when I am about to relax..no such luck, baby does not want to go to sleep!

Once again FG - wise words! I very much identify with the confident on the outside, crumbling on the inside thing. Thats just what I was like in my meeting yesterday, appearing cool and calm, but getting in the car and bursting into tears.

Tonight when the girl over the road came to help me, I shouted at the DTs so much that when she left I said "ho ho, dont ring social services", I feel really bad that I seem to just be going on at them all the time constantly........feel like I am never nice!

pssst HM

HM, its life. You are tired and you are under pressure. If she can't see it now, she will. You're doing fine my sweet, its all normal, we all do it. Go back and read my posts on my first thread.

FG - thanks for linking me to that thread, how funny that she is in the same boat! I posted on it so we will see what happens to her as well as to me......

HM.... the only reason HD is considering London is the turquoise negligee! I tell you babe... only reason!

DT1 said to me today as we were coming home from the school run... "Don't scream at DT2 mummy, don't scream at him!" I said "Honey DT2 and I were making funny voices" (which we were) "Oh no mummy" she replied "you were screaming at him. Say sorry, it's not very nice" Sigh..............

Okay my website is www dot mammydoula dot co dot uk! There.... I think that MorningPaper is so so so so sooooooooooooooooo clever to have created that for me. She asked what I wanted and I said something warm, bright and modern without being too modern looking and busy. That's what she created!

J'etudie la francais! Just thought I'd share.

My Literature course starts on Monday. I've read some of the books and plays. Need to write a 1,500 word essay on the servants in Chekov's Cherry Orchard. And despite the fact that I will be in Blackpool this weekend dancing the night away, I have a French tutorial to prepare for on Monday evening... though I probably won't make it as I have parent's evening at DS1's school. I'm going to be so tired!

Have you all seen A Mile for Maude... the thread suggesting something we can all do in memory of Maude and wee ones like her? If I find it I'll link it. Pink balloons and pink champagne and pink lemonade to celebrate the end of our mile walks (sponsored) to raise money for FSID and the French equivalent. So... look out for the thread and sign up girlies!

Kisses to you all. Power to your elbow Kelly lol!

A Mile for Maude

HM, so sorry to hear about the DCs having chicken pox, seems that when you having a tough time something unnecessary comes along and makes it worse!
As for the work thing (miserable *s), does your contract actually state the number or days and specify the hours that you should be at work? If not I doubt there is anything they can do if you want to work those hours in 3 days instead of 4 because you are not asking ot change your contract at all. I think you have the right to come back to work after maternity leave on the same contract. You could always agree to work in the office for 3 shorter days and at home for the 4th, htat could be a compromise that could work in your favour!
As for the Leeds/London decision, I like overrun am also really lucky that for DH the family comes first. I think this has shocked everyone including himself as he was very much a single, please himself type (but worked long hours) before I got pregnant with ds, he was already 45 then so could have been much too set in his ways to change. We also have to think about money, but have the basics set up, house with a small mortgage, decent car etc... we are comfortable and I am very happy with our situation. I would be absolutely miserable if he was away all week and wouldn't accept that the money would make the job away more attractive for more that short term. Anyway, its a personal thing.

FG, money also buys comfort.
I thought you were sounding incredibly chilled out recently! Great new approach to life!

Mars, I hope the baby of your new mum is doing OK and she is fighting fit!
The website is great, I like it very much. The photos are really fantastic. They give a very warm and trusting feel (not quite the right words but your aura from them is wonderful).

Kelly, absolutely PMSL (even this early in the morning) at the beer bottles falling out of the car! These days our recycling seems to be more full of cranberry juice bottles than anything else , (quickly polishing off smudge on halo!)!

Well, I have spent a couple of days doing very little and really suffered when I walked to ds's nursery yesterday, its only about 1KM! Not only did I find it exhausting but also very painful! I didn't manage the walk back dh picked us up! I knew that as soon as I let myself be too inactive it would be really hard to get started again, I am really worried about coming to a complete standstill! Everything is getting more and more uncomfortable, I have to pretty much pick my belly up to roll over in bed now if not it gets left behind ! Want to sit around eating chocolate all day... anyway you have all been here so...!

Just checked your website Mars, its fab!

Leo - my contract is still the one that says I work full time, they have never given me another contract. The company was relatively small when I went back after the twins and so I just asked the boss if I coul ddo 4 days and he agreed, it was really up to me what hours I worked.

DT2 has a swollen up eye and I think its becuase he has chicken pox on his face. I have checked the web which seems to indicate you should see a gp if it is on the eyes, earliest appt I can get is tomorrow, do you think this is soon enough - it wont harm himwill it???