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Multiple births

When do you start showing with twins? What is life with twins like? Join the conversation on our Multiple Births forum.

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Original poster

Being a mum is great

63 replies

Y1 · 02/11/2006 04:15

I wish i could find someone who actually stops whinning about there husband and kids. I have twins who are almost two, a husband who works long hours and i am a stay at home mother. But my life is blessed. My choice was to be a mother, and with that to take on the responsiblities that come with it. So what if i can't poo in peace, or watch a show on tele. I do all my housework cook breakfast, lunch and dinner and take care of my family. Thats my life and i love every second of it. (even the tears and fights). I wish other mothers could be as happy with there choice to be a mother and a wife cause nobody makes you chose these roles.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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poppadum · 02/11/2006 07:09

We really need a smug emoticon on MN, don't we.

Sorry, I may have chosen to be a wife and have kids, but I didn't sign away my right to poo in peace. or farm out the housework. or whine about it.
Whatever works for you.

ludaloudbang · 02/11/2006 07:14

What you don't whinge at all? ever? to anyone???

Original poster

Y1 · 02/11/2006 10:14

no. I'm sorry you have me so wrong. I just wish sometimes that you could speak to another mum who is completely happy. It took me ten years to finally have my children (thru IVF and alot of tears and heartaches). Its such a shame that we cannot see how blessed we all truely are. Poppadum no need to be so bitter. Try talking to some women some time that never get the chance to be a mum.

OP posts:

aweebitgross · 02/11/2006 10:15

their

TinyGang · 02/11/2006 10:21

I think they do treasure their families.

But life throws up lots of dilemmas and sometimes it's nice to have a bit of empathy and support from others who are going through the same or have been there and might have some suggetions.

Writing that off as 'whining' is a bit harsh.

Original poster

Y1 · 02/11/2006 10:30

Ludaloudbang, no i never whinge, ever to anybody. If i have a problem i just try and fix it. Complaining i have found got me nowwhere. It also just made me bitter and resentful. I made a decision years ago that by the time i vented to every one the problem was still there so i just stoped venting. And i lead a much happier life because of it. This stage i've reached in my life isn't where everybody is. But as i put it in my first response, i wish i could find another mum who is similar to me. This is not meant to belittle anybody. I just want to talk to positive mums, who have good advise but don't whinge about their kids, husband or role as a mother.

OP posts:

aweebitgross · 02/11/2006 10:32

You wanna talk to a robot love

Original poster

Y1 · 02/11/2006 10:36

What a pity you don't get it.

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poppadum · 02/11/2006 10:36

Actually I have talked to women who have never got the chance to be a mum, but strangely it doesn't seem to help all that much, especially when i am cleaning poo off the rug. i am weird that way.

TinyGang · 02/11/2006 10:38

But what you see as 'complaining' could just be people's way of trying to fix their own problems. If you don't talk about them, how can you fix things?

Do you never get upset about anything?

Original poster

Y1 · 02/11/2006 10:46

If i ask your advise on something to do with a child. eg How is the best way to toilet train. This to me is not complaining. If i tell you about my crabby husband and all he does do and does not do. How is that going to slove the issue. Should i not communicate with my husband about the topics that affect us. How are friends or the like going to solve these problems. They can't. only a husband and wife can truely solve the problems within their marriage. And no i don't get upset unless it is death or similar.

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ludaloudbang · 02/11/2006 10:50

I can see your point Y1 but I think you are being a bit unrealistic...
You say you wish you could talk with positive mums who don't complain about their kids, hubbies etc etc...but the fact you can't find anyone must be telling you something???
I think everyone has something to grumble about its human! Its just this is a good way to do it..people are sympathetic, supportive and caring as a whole on here, and at the end of the day you can switch the computer off and you feel much better knowing you are not alone!

Try putting up a positive thread..how about "Who out there loves their kids and hubbies?" I am absolutely positive plenty of people reply!!
I love my dh to bits and my kids too...just sometimes I need a rant about something!

And anyway...you do whine...you are whining about the fact you can't find positive mothers!!!!

Original poster

Y1 · 02/11/2006 10:55

Poppadum if anything were to happen to your children you would wish for the chance to clean the poop up. This is the way i see things.

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earlysbird · 02/11/2006 10:56

Well good for you Y1, but why are you showing off about it? I like my twins too, my DH is great with them and works hard to support us all, but if I couldn't have a bit of a whinge every now and then I'd go nuts! Having a moan doesn't mean I think my life is crap, it just means I'm human and get fed up with things occasionally - and those things could be my anything for anyone - kids, DH, being a SAHM, job, career, colleagues, smug mums, traffic, weather, dress size, wine consumption...the list is endless

ludaloudbang · 02/11/2006 10:58

I'm glad you can be so positive Y1 it is inspiring...but don't expect everyone to be like you...the hard work and reality of life takes its toll on even the most patient of people...and if they choose to make themselves feel better by seeking like minded people then so be it.

Original poster

Y1 · 02/11/2006 10:59

Sorry maybe i should just learn to play nicely and say exactly what is expected.

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TenaLady · 02/11/2006 11:00

Y1 Im a bit of a moaner, I wish I didnt but i have forgotten how to stop now that it has been so long Good to hear that life is good for you, long may it last.

sideways · 02/11/2006 11:00

I am pretty much a sahm, love dd to bits, but sometimes just find it hard and, like lots of other mums, need a bit more to life sometimes than kids and home.

Nothing wrong with that.

Good luck to you, it's great if you are happy with your lot, but some of us need a bit more stimulation sometimes.

TenaLady · 02/11/2006 11:01

Y1 you say what you want to and when you want to, there is always other opinions, its just they are all similar and come along at the same time so it seems like a bit of a gang up.

Keep posting and you will see that others may well be feeling like yourself.

frumpygrumpy · 02/11/2006 14:08

You must mean me! Your post described me perfectly and my name lives up to it !

I am blessed. I have 3 healthy, happy children, a DP who loves me for all my faults, a happy relationship, no financial worries and life is good.

Its also damn hard work, unfair, testing and pushes me to my limits. Being on MN gives me the chance to ask advice and gain support when I need it and when I feel I'm falling apart but, more importantly, it gives me the chance to laugh about the crap things that happened in my day.

Last night (after my DT1 came down with chicken pox) I poured a gin and popped onto MN to have a bit of contact with the outside world. I had a giggle with friends and had a laugh about THE POX, I relaxed and enjoyed myself and when I had to get up at 2am with DD who had a sore throat and had wet the bed and then at 3am with DT1 and her temperature and then again at 5am I didn't feel so worked up because I knew my friends were all up doing the same and because I had, humourously (I hope) got some of the feelings out which would otherwise have bubbled up and been unleashed on one of my adored.

I chose my life, I wouldn't want any other, I adore having the luxury of bringing up my own children, I love them to pieces and I do my very best to bring them up well and I also need to moan a bit because all things in my life get me down sometimes.

I'm glad you don't suffer these feelings and you must also have solid advice and strategies for when one of us is struggling. We all have something to offer.

Pollux · 04/11/2006 00:34

People come on MN to let off steam. It doesn't mean they are not happy and that they don't feel blessed, it's just nice to know you're not alone in feeling overwhelmed/stressed/wornout sometimes

Sorry for gatecrashing your thread by the way. i don't have twin but there are 11 months between my 2 and it sometimes feels like twins

Original poster

Y1 · 04/11/2006 06:52

Sorry but if you don't have twins you have no way of knowing what it is like.

OP posts:

ludaloudbang · 04/11/2006 06:53

no way of knowing what what is like?????????????

Original poster

Y1 · 04/11/2006 06:59

Having twins

OP posts:

ludaloudbang · 04/11/2006 07:03

I don't understand what your point is.....

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