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Original poster

When they are both crying at the same time...

29 replies

NoMoreWineForMeThen · 22/07/2012 19:47

.. what do you do?

Does anyone have any tips or advice on how to settle twins simultaneously? I find that I'm endlessly swapping, so settle one then he'll sart crying again whilst I'm settling the other and it can turn into a bit of a draining cycle.

Obviously it's a little easier when DH is home of an evening but I do find it quite hard during the days when I'm alone (and even harder when my toddler isn't at nursery!).

My twins are 10 wks old btw.

Thanks!

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Handsfullandinamuckingfuddle · 22/07/2012 21:13

That was the hardest bit so far for me. Much harder than 2 x teething babies and 2 x tantruming toddlers. It gets easier.

Have you got a sling ? Some people put one baby in a sling and cuddle the other at the same time. It didnt work for us both my two hated slings.

I used to hold them both on my chest while I was standing up swaying and singing.

If they needed feeding - before I could feed them at the same time I would put one in a swinging chair and ....... give him a dummy while I fed the other then swop them over.

My DT's are my only two so alot easier for me there is a thread on here - toddlers and twins might be some advice on there.

MrsIcarus · 22/07/2012 21:18

If it got desperate I'd put both in the pushchair and wheel them round to settle them. Round the block if DH was home, round the kitchen if not as we have another child who, with any luck, would be sleeping thr

tryingtonotfeckup · 22/07/2012 21:19

Hi, I'd second the swinging chair, my lifeline in the early months, settled one while I dealt with the second. In terms of settling, I think mine were pretty easy, they fed and settled themselves from really early on, but I bottle fed so I could prop them up on my legs and feed them at the same time.

I still find the crying simultaneously thing difficult, although now its due to one of them stealing whatever the other one was playing with. There are ways of coping with it but try to get a mindset that says calm down, I'm doing the best that I can and try not to get anxious. We are hardwired to respond to a crying child, I find not being able to do so, because they are both crying, quite stressful at times.

MrsIcarus · 22/07/2012 21:19

Oops - sleeping through the twins crying.

ceeveebee · 22/07/2012 21:26

My two are 8 mo now and believe me it gets easier - probably around the 12 week mark
I used to:

  • put in pram and go for a walk, or just rock the pram if raining
  • use baby bjorn bouncy chairs and bounce them both at once
  • put both in travel cot (which I kept downstirs) and shake the cot
  • sing songs - twinlke twinkle, with had movements used to work
  • wave scarves over them both
  • play classic fm for babies sleepy music

God my neighbours must have thought I was a loony!

ceeveebee · 22/07/2012 21:27

With had movements = with hand movements

beyoglu · 23/07/2012 07:24

Hiya, mine are 13 weeks and when they both kick off (outside of feeding times) I check both nappies and then stick them in my Weego twin carrier and dance/walk around with them. I hate it too, it's the hardest bit about twins I think.

Also, yes, we use dummies. They've headed off many a bad mood over the last few weeks/months...

claireinmodena · 23/07/2012 21:44

I wrote the same post a few weeks after mine were born! Smile

Everything that has been suggested here: I have used a sling, bouncy chairs, dummy for dtb (dtg spits it out).

And yes it is the hardest part of having twins Sad. Mine are nearly 6 months now and I had a meltdown a few days ago when they were both crying and I was on my own. At one point we were all three crying!

Handsfullandinamuckingfuddle · 23/07/2012 22:58

Grin claire I used to cry with them too, when it all calmed down I put the kettle on had a Brew and stuffed my self full of chocolate - it is what got me through the hard times.

Hang on in there Nomore it will get easier Smile

Original poster
NoMoreWineForMeThen · 23/07/2012 23:01

Really appreciate the replies.

I'd stored our swinging chairs as they didn't seem to work initially but gave them another go today based on advice given here and they worked a treat! Well I'm keeping everything crossed that it was the chairs that did the trick and the calm babies drifting off to sleep wasn't just due to the warm weather. DH and I even managed to eat a meal together this evening.... whilst it was still hot too!

OP posts:
DW123 · 24/07/2012 03:38

It is the hardest part of having twins and it was what broke me a couple of times but it gets so much easier. At 15 months its now something that is a weekly event rather than daily. And as I tend to know the reason I can sort it out fairly quickly.

I used to feed mine at the same time which helped. And if they weren't hungry comfort feeding keeps them quiet long enough to work out what to do next (if you are bfing). At bedtime, I tended to prioritise settling the one I knew I could get to sleep quicker. At bathtime I sang for England - and like ceeveebee I waved my hands manically. Somehow mine were hypnotised by counting down with fingers.

I'm glad the swing worked for you as mine didn't love it. Good luck - it just gets easier from now. And congratulations!

claireinmodena · 24/07/2012 06:27

Oh yes lots of chocolate here too! Good think I'm bfeeding or I'd be the size of a hippo by now Grin!

claireinmodena · 24/07/2012 06:28

nomorewine good to hear you had a better evening and a hot dinner!

Handsfullandinamuckingfuddle · 24/07/2012 10:01

Smile Thats good news nomore

Jaffacakeeater · 24/07/2012 10:11

There are no magic answers I'm afraid. Keep trying different things and juggling. It gets easier!

tryingtonotfeckup · 24/07/2012 22:50

Like the others, there were times when all three of us were crying. Chocolate worked for me too.

Glad it helped nomore, it does get easier.

Original poster
NoMoreWineForMeThen · 24/07/2012 23:18

Thank you for all the reassurance that things will get easier. These early weeks are so precious and I don't want to wish them away but it is so hard sometimes....

OP posts:
minesapintofwine · 29/07/2012 12:36

I usually bounce one in the bouncer with my foot with the other in arms or on my lap. As they are older they really like this jumperoo type thing (not a jumperoo though) so one goes in there sometimes and calms down. Or I put them both on the playmat and blow raspberries or sing and dance. Usually dt2 will calm down and stay calm in these situations so then am only left with dt1. So if one of your twins calm a bit easier maybe work with that one first? Pushchair out of house works for me, pushchair in house never does-they want to go out!

PrincessScrumpy · 02/08/2012 21:37

I did my best and if I knew they were fed, clean nappy and not in pain I would place them in push chair or cot and make a cup of tea.

I do remember one afternoon putting them in the pushchair and saying to my toddler "right we are going for a walk... I know it's raining but it's the only way to stop the screaming!" dd1 loved it as she wore wellies and splashed her way round the block.

Now at 11 mo they are so much more fun. Generally when they cry together, one it really crying and the other is doing sympathy crying so I just work out which one started it and cuddle her (once she's calmed the other seems fine - just don't like each other crying).

I learned to block it out/turn tv up. Sounds harsh but I struggled with tandem feeding so would have one in a bouncy chair and feed one then swap. They just had to learn to wait and I learned not to feel guilty (mostly). I never felt I was doing enough or was being a good enough mummy. Now they are older and happy little girls I see that I haven't done so badly and they are the most loving little girls.

Just do your best, without forgetting to look after yourself too, and they will be absolutely fine.

minesapintofwine · 03/08/2012 10:38

princess thats a good tip on the sypmathy crying I think mine are doing it at 6 months. Im going to try calming the genuine one like you said.

beyoglu · 03/08/2012 14:45

yeah princess mine do the sympathy crying too.

toomuchpink · 04/08/2012 21:28

Oh it is the hardest bit, isn't it? That and the sleep deprivation. Just wonderful to read all these sensible posts. I wish I had posted the same question in the early months.

ChopstheDuck · 04/08/2012 21:48

Not read the whole thread but

Whichever one behaved best that day got soothed first
Whichevere one was fed last had to wait
Whichever was closest

Honestly, with twins at least one will cry when you cAnt get to them some of the time. A very wise health visitor once told me that leaving them to cry for a. It won't cause long term hrm, which saved my sanity!

But it is possible to feed two at once, I propped ebm bottles with mine, or fed two it chairs or rugby holds. I also fed one while rocked a other with my foot. We also had rotations of door bouncer, high chair, sat in front of ashing machine, or clothes horse, sit in thing, whatever else kept them busy!

Accept all offers of help and use your imagination.

ChopstheDuck · 04/08/2012 21:49

Apologies for typos, on iPad and corrected as many as I could!

BagofHolly · 12/08/2012 19:20

The best advice I ever had was when they're all kicking off, pick the one you know you can sort out the fastest. That way your workload quickly drops by 50% (or 33% if you've got 3!)
That may mean leaving the one that's really upset till last but it's still worth doing.
Also I sometimes stand in the utility room with the washer and dryer in, and have a good scream. Grin

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