TTT.....

[AtLongLast]

OTT / self-indulgent I know, but Toddler Twin Tantrums..... aaargh! Just as well they're so cute too. Ds2 was v funny today wiggling his bum singing uh, uh Bobby' in response to me dancing round the kitchen to Bobby's girl'...

I hope so rattling, he's been ok with it since. and the weather has turned & we're back to inside-out fleecy sleepsuits. Is dh away for all of the long weekend??

Went to our Jubilee party today. Hmm, you know when you look forward to something & it is a total disappointment...... It was totally packed out. Hall was v loud & no seats so we went outside & sat on the grass. Everyone else appeared to know other people so were having a lovely time while we sat like nobby-no-mates. So much for community spirit. Twas worse than any toddler group. The older children were running riot while parents indulged in the bar & chat did that total ineffectual `Jonny stop that or else' on repeat. Boy tried to take ds2's flag til I glared a him. Then they found a plastic compost bin or similar & threw that around for a bit. Dp saved dd from being hit with it twice but ds2 got knocked over so we packed up in a strop & left. I think we were there for 30mins max. I felt like a total snob / parent of pfb expecting other peoples' consideration but we were furious. We had a little wander around the allotments & chatted to some lovely people, showed the boys stuff growing on our plot & then went to the park so it was OK in the end.

Hmm, that doesn't sound like fun ALL - sadly I do know all too well that anti-climactic feeling - seems to happen a lot more when you've got kids because it's such a faff to go anywhere it's a real bummer when you realise it's all been a waste of time.

Our potty training exercise has been a bit of a damp squib - DH decided to have a massive strop on Saturday and we ended up spending the day apart. I was so bloody angry at him 'opting out', esp since we'd decided to do the potty training and for some reason really felt pissed off at suddenly having to do it on my own. Err, that's the whole POINT of waiting until we have a long weekend, so we can be a bloody team. Grrr Anyway - day 1 = lots of wees in potty, 2 poos in pants. Then in my anger I put us in the car and spent the afternoon/evening at my brother's, so caved and put her in a nappy for the rest of the day. Day 2 = similar, we went to party in the afternoon so she was fine in the morning but afternoon onwards was nappy. From what I read this is not the right way to go about it but I just couldn't face being on constant duty at the party to make sure she didn't have an accident. She also seems a bit anxious about being out of the house without a nappy so am not pushing it. Today for the first time we had a poo in the potty, felt like a real success. Hope no-one's eating while they read Still, I think we'll do what we can today and tomorrow and then see what happens at nursery on Thursday. Eve still showing no sign of being interested...

What a wash-out Sunday on the river was - had the tv on whilst at our friends' party in Chiswick and everyone looked soaked to the bones, and the Queen just looked bored. I missed everything yesterday so feeling out of the loop. And DH back at work today so it feels just like a normal day!

Tarti, had your namesake dish for supper tonight. Yum yum, highly recommended!

Sorry to hear about the marital strife mucky. Everything OK now?? Doesn't sound like the best way to spend the weekend and hope it was brief and easily mended. I'm quite sure potty training needs at least one dress rehearsal before the real thing.

Just read the TTTS update on here and find it so sad I shall be giving our little cherubs an extra kiss tonight. When you feel a bit fed up with the grind it is worth remembering that we are very lucky to have the grind at all.

Oh no LadyM - nightmare, I hope things are OK now! Poo in the potty - go J! I can't see quite how to get to that point but I suppose it'll happen. When you say E is not interested - does she show any interest in J's success but just not into trying it herself? Only ask because ds1 isn't showing any signs here but is great at cheerleading ds2's efforts and understands the theory. I think he just needs the confidence to give it a go himself. But then he's not into people-pleasing like ds2 is either.

After all the problems we had / saw on forums during out ttc time, I find it amazing any of us are here at all really Cerubina. So many sad stories around & I feel very grateful even in difficult times. We were so very nearly childless, not that anyone would guess that now

I haven't read any updates Cerub, am scared to do it now but agree absolutely re. giving extra kisses. We are indeed lucky - it didn't feel it at the time, having to go through IVF, did it? But to be here now... I feel blessed.

ALL - well on day 1 I was wondering how we would get to the point where Juliet 'got' doing poos in the potty. Yesterday she didn't have any poo accidents but didn't do any in the potty either, but today we ended up with two. I just need to have a bit of progress tomorrow and then hand her over to nursery on Thurs and Friday so they can get on with it all It's interesting because J really does 'get' it and is obviously getting a lot of pleasure out of her success. But like you, E is really into cheering her on, whilst not wanting to do it herself. They even have arguments about who's going to flush it down the loo, and I almost feel guilty over the fact that J always gets to flush it away - god, how am I going to cope with proper dilemmas later on?! I think I'm going to buy a training seat for the loo tomorrow and start trying to get her to go on there. Having now started, I can see there are a good few stages to get to/past before you can say your child is toilet trained - my first main goal is going to be to get to the point where I (and she) feels comfortable being out of the house without a nappy.......

Did you get to the point you hoped today LadyM? We had unexpected progress today as ds1 did 2 wees this morning. & was interesting to see his confidence visibly increase as a result. Had to have a spell of competitive weeing then though... resulting in me traipsing upstairs 4 times in quick succession for the Grand Flushing Event. Funny tho as they're both doing standing wees and have to have a period of adjusting the potty so it's just so before starting . Definitely going to have to pull my finger out & get another potty though. Someone gave us a (unused) trainer seat ages ago. Would be tempted to give it a go if we had a downstairs loo.

Ds1 is sporting a rather impressive black eye today. He ran into the corner of a chest of drawers last night & cut sooo close to his eye. It immediately came up in a big lump & today his upper eyelid & below his eye is all bruised & swollen . He was very lucky though...

Ah yes. Potty training - the only time I've been happy to be living in a flat with twin toddlers (It's a smallish one too, we are never more than a couple of steps from the toilet)!!

I hear you - we are in a narrow and tall house with 4 storeys!

Yes, all going okay thanks ALL although poor love was a bit anxious heading off to nursery wearing her big girl pants. That's great news re. DS1 - good on him!! E still showing zero interest. It's weird, it's as though what J is doing bears absolutely no relevance to her, which in a way I'm glad about because it means we can keep it very separate and avoid any (potential) competitiveness/feelings of inadequacy. I say this because at the moment they are like a pair of old women, bickering away all the time. E is starting to really assert herself over J, it's quite upsetting sometimes but I'm trying to leave them to it as much as poss.

Gah, still haven't sorted out a Christening gift and tomorrow is my last day. Went back to the personal trainer this morning (still hellish) - 1.5 hours and counting before I have to pick them up from nursery....

God, very stressful day here, V has refused to have a nap at all today but seems surprisingly upbeat. F fell out of our back door and has a nasty scape accross her forehead very scary but she thankfully seems fine, ate her dinner and has been playing. Dp and I had a huge row, he justs loses it and panics when something happens, I don't understand why he can't keep calm, rather than focussing on F he justs yells about us being terrible parents and that I obviously left the door unlocked I didn't btw I know it's just his way of dealing with it but it just makes the whole situation so much worse

I need

Sorry for lack of posts ladies, we've had quite a busy week!

LVB Sorry to hear about poor F's head :( But I can totally relate to the husband thing - mine is the same! This week one of the girls was reaching something off the side and accidently knocked a glass off and it smashed - he automatically got cross at her saying that she wasn't being careful etc etc, and then storms off in a huff! Didn't even bother to see whether DD was actually okay! In my books, whatever they've done wrong to hurt themselves (even if it was really naughty) you check them over and calm them down first, and then give them the lesson on why it was silly.

Haven't had the best week; we set out to go on a family day out - was a 2.5 hour journey, but 2 hours into it DTrips all had projectile vomiting simultaneously... It was so horrible as they were in their carseats and couldn't breathe because of straps etc :( Changed them all etc and couldn't work out whether it was just travel sickness or a bug, so finally made the decision to carry on the journey - well, turned up at destination and all 3 had horrendous diarrhoea everywhere. E was in nappies and even hers went absolutely everywhere. We're now 2.5 hours from home, got no clothes left, carseats are covered in D&V (sorry) and they are still screaming that they want to go on the day out. Probably one of the most stressful journeys ever. Thankfully had nappies of Emme's - only 1 each and the 'D' was still coming... I made DH run to a Primark that was 15 minutes away and just buy shit loads of towels and loads of spare clothes for the DT's.
After about 20 stops, we finally made it home - I've never been so pleased. It seemed to be a weird 12 hour thing though - we got back at about 4pm and the DTrips were so exhausted from all the D&V that they just begged to go to bed; then woke up as normal the next morning!

God Kate that puts it into perspective that sounds totally horrendous my DP or DF fiancé I suppose would of passed out at the possibility of a situation that stressful, drives me Crazy I find it quite pathetic that he can't hold it together and be a tower of strength in a stressful situation, he acts like a three year old and makes everything 100 x worse

Hope you are home safe with a nice glass of or chocolates or whatever makes you happy. I am off to bed at 9.30pm it will be interesting to see how well V sleeps as she hasn't had a nap all day! It's the longest she's ever been awake!

Dear lord Kate

Also Lavita.

Don't get me started on DHs - mine is driving me FUCKING MENTAL today. Just petty stuff which I won't go into but really not feeling the love atm.

So, reporting back on centerparcs, 'twas good, considering sharing lodgings with pils, lots of rain and the fact I was trying to stick to crazy diet... Girls loved the pool which was a relief as they'd never been swimming before. I'd go again, and actually I'd imagine you'd enjoy subsequent visits more as the first day and a half were spent getting our bearings really. We hired a trailer thingy for the girls to sit in behind DHs bike and that was a big hit- wouldn't bother taking the buggy in future and also will be looking into hiring one in the summer in France.

Am in awe of potty training progress being made Mucky and ALL

Kate that sounds like utter purgatory. Hopefully in 18 years the near future you'll all be able to laugh about the worst ever day out. Until then, I really hope you have some good fabric cleaner and, frankly, a helpful DH to get it all sorted out. Big bonfire required for the soiled clothes I suspect.

Hope F is still OK after her tumble, LVB. Sounds as if other halves generally are not in our good books from what you and Tarti both say. I can chime in too, just feeling very fed up and drone-like at the moment in terms of the sheer weight of chores, their divvying up between the two of us and the lack of time/space to do them in. I really only have nap times and feel like I am constantly doing stuff, never getting to the end and always feeling behind. My DH makes the time and space to do things like going for a walk or a run, but the former just makes space for me to fit in chores unencumbered and the latter requires me to stay in the house. I don't get too many opportunities to take myself off and forget all about childcare and laundry and constipation and what they'll eat for the next meal etc etc.

I feel like writing a list of every single thing I do in one day just to keep the house and people in it functioning smoothly as I want DH to acknowledge that I am doing a hell of a lot. It is the thing about a working woman having to do 2 or 3 jobs but only getting noticed for the one that pays cash.

What has brought this on is the impending holiday - increasingly I feel that I go to work to have a break, a holiday is time off work and ergo going on holiday is a break from having a break. No wonder I don't feel very enthusiastic, I can just foresee all the daily chores that will need doing in an unfamiliar environment with pressure to enjoy ourselves and (the fear I keep coming back to) the very long drives involved on at least 4 days of the fortnight.

mucky, I know this was you on your last holiday...please give me any tips to help me chill the fuck out and enjoy it! I know what I should do is stop being such a bloody martyr and tell DH that I would like a bit of praise once a week (which is all it would take, I'm so easily mollified) and also just tell him that I am going out and he is to take care of everything for that time - no prepping food or laying out stuff, just shut the door and walk away.

I'm going to be 40 very soon and maybe it's just a collision of feeling a bit upset about that plus usual daily grind.

Sorry this is so moany. Just really need a rant and obviously what a grown up would do is talk to DH about it!

tarti, glad you had fun at CP.

Cerub I could have written that word for word xxx

Honestly, I was so sick of all the skanky clothes that I just binned about 6 outfits because I think I may have actually killed someone if I had to look at any more D&V.
LVB It just made us realize that we desperately need a D&V emergency pack in the car somewhere!
To be honest I'm able to joke about it now (not laughing yet!) but when we got home and DTrips just begged to go to bed, I put them down and actually had a few tears! Absolutely ridiculous, but I was just so exhausted from the day!

To be fair in situations like that when there are 3 of them puking at the same time, DH is pretty bloody good - he keeps us all calm and just sorts everything out without a fuss; bodily fluids don't phase him..
I freaked out a bit as my DD's are rarely sick, and seeing poor DT's gagging in their carseats and then having the shakes afterwards etc etc, it was horrible - but DH is good with that kind of thing.

Accidents like the glass thing are not his thing though - I agree with you all, it gets so draining of then having to sort the child out and then having a DP in a piss! Our glass incident really pee'd me off - I made DH calm down, come back and sort DD out himself and told him how ridiculous he was being; he agrees its ridiculous but admits that he just can't help getting annoyed about things like a smashed glass.

Tarti and cerubina - why are they all being such pricks at the moment?! They need to sort themselves out! My own DH seems to be having very 'stressful work' going on cannot detach himself from it when he gets home, which is extremely nauseating as he takes it out on me and the girls as he's so crabby.

Sorry Tarti - with all my D&V talk I totally forgot to say about your CP visit; I'm so jealous! But sounds like you had a brilliant time - we loved those bike trailers too!

Tears after you got home Kate? I'd have been a snivelling wreck way before that! The experience sounds dreadful - well done for looking after your girls as well as you did and surviving it intact as a family!

I have to say DH is more like some other mentioned on this thread - when something goes wrong he freaks out, and often starts really arguing with me about my chosen course of action. We had some terrible moments shouting at each other trying to be heard above a crying ill baby while we disagreed about what medicine to give, what to try next, etc. Latest example of this kind of thing is the potty training, which I have to confess is not going particularly well. So pissed off, and it's probably my own fault. I just haven't been brave enough to try her out of nappies when we're out and about, and of course the weather has been so dreadful it hasn't helped. She was doing brilliantly at home where I'd had her just wandering around with a bare bum most of the time. Disastrous couple of days at nursery and think it was because she was not used to wearing pants. Trouble is if I have her in pants and trousers at home, I have to commit to a couple of days of just sitting watching her and asking every 5 minutes if she wants to go. So this morning we've been back to a bare bum and it's been successful. Think this afternoon we'll try wearing pants and trousers and see if there's any success. Has been tough because she has started whimpering a bit that she doesn't want to wear pants, she wants to wear a nappy - and while E is still in nappies it feels like we're being cruel by not letting her. Anyone with any advice, would be very welcome?! :)

tarti - CP does indeed sound good. We still haven't booked our holiday but am thinking about booking Villas Martinhal in Portugal which looks amazing and is very $$$ during school hols but prices half once they end - which coincidentally is the day we'd arrive Also thinking about booking a long weekend in the interim, somewhere in the UK, might look at CP unless any other suggestions?

NOw then - onto Cerubina. As tarti says, I could have written that word for word. But then I suspect you knew that already I don't blame you AT ALL for having those thoughts re. losing your break in order to go on holiday and have, as the saying goes, 'same shit different location'. I wish I had solutions other than the obvious which is to spell out exactly what it is you need them to do. But I can't help the inner voice which screams out 'why should I have to tell them? Why isn't it bloody obvious? And why am I the only person thinking it?'. We had the Christening yesterday (opted for a monogrammed Smythson leather jewellery roll in bright pink, was quite pleased with myself for coming up with that!) and I ended up not only having to get me and the girls ready, but also five minutes before we had to leave finding DH still standing in his pants with 'nothing to wear' (ie. he hadn't given it a minute's thought). I was so bloody angry, why on earth do I have to get FOUR people ready??! Bloody nincompoops of men.

One thing I wanted to add in this epic post is that if anything, you might find the journey not too bad. We always felt like we were on a bit of a family adventure whilst in the car (sounds impossible I know; bear with me..) and they DO sleep a lot of the time. This may just be our girls, but the worst time I found was driving when it was getting dark in the car and with them awake. They really haven't ever liked that, I think they are a bit scared or something. So now we always plan to do all our driving either in daylight or with them asleep. This probably isn't so much of a biggie in summertime but if it gets dark at 5pm and you have two very awake children sitting there in the dark in the car... it isn't fun . Take lots of snacks, let go of any attachment to proper meals or mealtimes other than hoping for a proper meal in the hotel/whatever when you arrive and before they go to bed, and you should be alright. S & R may be too young for this and it's not the kind of parenting I thought I'd be championing, but on our last drive back from Switzerland we'd bought a cheap double-screen DVD player for about £100 and clipped them onto the seats in the back. This cures the problem of getting-dark-and-scared-awake-children and also keeps them VERY quiet for as long as you like. Very very good investment.... :)

Oh Kate - Primark to the rescue! Poor you all, sounds horrendous. It's bad enough when it's just 1 or 2 & you're all at home. I hope F is none the worse for her tumble now Cerubina. & glad cp was good enough that you'd go back Tarti. Nodding along to much of the dp/dh stuff, though have to admit seeing some of myself in there too .

We've just had a lovely few days up seeing the family. Bit exhausting for the children cos we did so much running around seeing people tho. Still, we've finally got pics with them & great grandparents so I'm v happy with that. Boys were great in the `big boy beds'..... I've bought duvets & pillows today. Reckon will still be a while til we risk the beds here tho - I've still got to decide on duvet covers after all.

I got into bed with ds1 at 5.30am yesterday in the vain hope he'd go back to sleep. Ds2 woke soon after so I lay there pretending to be asleep while trying to work out what they were talking about. Ds2 was talking about Tractor' (tiny size toy of the moment) & ds1 said no no, not tractor yet, mummy peepees' (sleeping). It blew me away! So complex, thoughtful, sweet and funny!

Oh ALL that is so so sweet.

PS: pointless potty training update: pants on this afternoon >>> no luck with potty whatsoever until 7.30pm when she finally asked to take her pants off so she could sit on the potty. Sigh. Isn't this weather miserable? A friend and I have a running joke whereby on a particularly shit day of parenting, we remind each other that we are 'blessed' ("feeling particularly blessed today, I bet?") to have our children. So today, with non-stop rain and stuck indoors with a daughter constantly weeing herself, another daughter vomiting, a random friend arriving on our doorstep and using our house as a hotel (it's most odd) and not interacting at all with me or the girls and just observing their various tantrums and bodily fluids... can I just say, I felt VERY blessed.

Just a quick wave, nods to all misery. I am dreading our Summer holiday, Cerub, I too could of written your post! Misery loves company hey

Will come back with a positive and up to date post tomorrow!

ALL sooooo cute!!! Love their little chats. Last night at 1am V woke crying for an age, I got her after 15 mins of hoping she'd sleep, got her in our room, gave her a huge cuddle and told her I loved her, to which, she looked at me, put a finger to her mouth, said "shhhhh" and went back to sleep on my shoulder!!!

Lady have you seen PeppaPig World some very good hotel and ticket deals? Or you could do CP and Longleat Safari Park

Ooh yes, PP World. Want to go there. But this weather - I'm struggling to have the enthusiasm to do anything in the UK while it's like this. I don't know why it's getting to me so much other than it's my first summer back in the UK. It is so so depressing! We had lots of rain in Switzerland, but the underlying weather was always warm - we might have two days of storms but then it'd be back to 28 degrees. Bah humbug. Please someone tell me something inspirational about a forecast somewhere that things will improve? Pretty please?

Just to tempt me even further to transition to beds the ones I liked are now half price on Aspace here Hmmm, think we might have to get them and store them until the girls turn 5

Well I'm glad you think ds1 was v cute. Grandparents seemed most underwhelmed and I was thinking I was being even more pfb than I suspected. I am in awe of the rate of development in terms of speech / thinking skills at the moment though. Not that they are any more than average, but amazing to watch first hand.

Had a lovely morning in the garden here this morning, if that helps

Might have to look at PP World. After a slow start it's a big hit here now. Ds1 is sitting on my knee impressed that I'm working just like Mummy Pig! I do so many important `little jobs'.

Did we all spoil Daddy today? I bought kites from the boys & Lion King from dd but they've been throwing up since last night thank God we weren't away last night as planned so I've hidden the kites til dp's birthday in a few weeks. Gave him the 9 hours worth of steam train DVDs I bought for his birthday instead & they've spent all day watching steam trains. I went to the allotment this afternoon. First time I've been child-free since dd arrived & it was v odd!

Potty news: ds1 (the less keen) did a poo in potty the other day. He was so determined, bless him, and so proud when he'd completed his mission. Not that it's happened since.

Did you go for the beds in the end LadyM?