Life with twins 3

[GibberingGinger]

Like some sort of film sequel, or a royal dynasty, welcome to Life with twins III, a thread for general discussions and sharing experiences of having (or expecting) twins.

Hello. GG here. Just can't be bothered changing back from my alternative MN name. Apologies for the long absence. Have been caught up in too many Christmas parties. Both mine, and the kids. Was out on my work Christmas lunch on last Friday and started drinking at noon. Not good. Seriously cannot handle my alcohol as much as I used to (this is from the woman who often resorts to gin of an evening). Very bad hangover on Saturday....and Sunday. And a bit of memory loss. Fortunately I seem to have been a happy, drunk, and was just very happy to be out (I apparently repeated this lots) but it's never nice to have memory blanks.

Twins wise, not much news. J is STILL not walking much. He completely gave up last week. He came back to it a little at the weekend but he prefers to bum shuffle. At 19 months its getting pretty late. The health visitor came to see him on Monday (I phoned her) and although she is not that worried she has agreed he is very flexible and that it would be worth him seeing a physiotherapist as he might be over extending his joints/stretching his tendons and this might not be helping with the walking (it might be causing his ankles to collapse etc)

ALL, glad to hear a family of 5 is doing well. LL, exciting news about the move. And congrats on making it to 2 years without hurting them or yourself (always a major achievement in my experience!) Cerubina, sounds like your pair are hitting very cute stage.

Polka, hi, lovely to meet you (virtually). I would reckon that your DD is now getting more aware and getting into seperation anxiety. Unfortunately I don;t think there is much you can do but be a bit cruel (or so it seems ) and do the spaced soothing/controlled crying for a couple of weeks and hopefully she will learn to settle like her brother. Fingers crossed. Sympathy though as its not nice.

Will try to get back before Christmas, but if not, have a lovely time everyone.
GG xxx

PS guilty secret, my kids all sleep til 8 am too. It's bliss, and I have endless sympathy for those who are regularly up at 5.30am.

Phew, was worried I sounded smug by admitting they sleep till 8am there Chesticles - btw I LIKE this name. Must come up with a "hilarious" new one myself..

Polka - tarti and I are huge fans of a gentler form of CC which is amusingly called 'Spaced Soothing'. Put her down, leave the room. She'll cry hysterically. Stand outside perched anxiously and wait one minute before going in. Try to soothe her without picking her up (I rarely managed this and don't think it matters much), then leave the room but this time wait two mins. And so on, so forth - I guarantee you'll THINK it'll never work, but it will, after a couple of nights of this you'll never look back. Lots of people I know went through similar things at about this point, and of course with twins you just can't continue to indulge rocking/etc - it's not feasible over the long term. People I know with singletons never had to get hard core with it and are still lying down to go to sleep with their children, holding their hand, at the age of 2.5... not for me, that option. I had probs at about this age with both of them screaming when we left the room, so we were having to rock them both to sleep in their bouncy chairs. It was horrendous. The first night I tried this I thought no WAY would they both go to sleep, especially the first one as the other one wailed - but they were both asleep at the 3 min point, didn't need to go in again. Good luck - I do think this point is difficult because they're not tiny babies any more, they are more aware and it's heart-wrenching to leave them at all... but you know they're tired and the best thing for them when they're tired is to sleep. Good luck.. :)

Up this morning after J woke up screaming for her dummy at 5am. Went in to find she had TWO dummies already... hmm this dummy dependency is going to have to stop - how can I have raised a child so dependent on them she needs three or four at her disposal to feel calm enough to sleep!? Anyway couldn't get back to sleep so find myself up and reading the building survey which the surveyor sent through after I'd gone to bed. Never a relaxing start to the day!

lottie Maggie has to have at least two dummies now - not quite sure how this happened. One them appears to be for her eye, she enjoys rubbing it round and round her eye socket whilst moaning tunelessly along to the BT lullabies the nutter

Hi GG nice to 'see' you. I had a two day hangover this weekend too - I was a total mess. Too old and out of practice!

Thanks folks yes they do share a room (we only moved our bed out of their room a couple of weeks ago) in their own cots next to each other (they 'chat' in the mornings and will sometimes happily keep themselves amused a tiny bit longer!) I had actually suggested separating them for a few nights to DH yesterday tarti -although we didn't want to do this, it may be the only way. Will have to clear out the junk spare room. I really do think we will have to do what you and lottie did. The problem is my DH finds it hard but we will have to be strong and just do it. I still always have to tell him to wait if he hears a slight noise on the monitor and to try and let them settle themselves before he rushes off- we have clearly been making them worse!

lottie I don't know how I would cope without dummies! I hope I can encourage them to give up when older and I can bribe them by giving them to the dummy fairy for other babies who need them, or something bribe them with chocolate and toys

Careful tarti - it's a slippery slope - two dummies today.... FOUR DUMMIES the time she's two. Grrr... not quite sure what to do about it.

Am thick in the mire of the bloody surveyor's report. All is kind-of okay although potentially bad woodworm. Need another survey to be done in the New Year, investigating further. And I've just received a giant wad of docs from the solicitor to go through. Very dull, although a flicker of joy to see they have Sky tv which means we'll be able to watch Mad Men. Actually I don't even know if the next series has aired yet, and buying the house is probably not the most economical way of getting to see it. Also one half of the gardens has a treaty upon it saying you can't build on it - there goes DH's plan for us to avoid bankruptcy safeguard our future if everything goes tits up by building another house to sell... God I hate this bit of buying a house. It's.So.Boring.

My DH is a bit like that too polka. I did most of the spaced soothing in the end as he found it difficult to follow simple instructions wait the allotted time before barging in.

Lottie urgh..

Have just made a hamper of goodies for nursery staff room as their Christmas present. Posh hand wash/cream, nice hot chocolate, few magazines, tiffin etc. I feel like such a prat, a box of shortbread would I'm sure have been more than adequate but I made the mistake of doing a search on mn for what was protocol and was then guilted into it.
Now my cleaner is here cleaning around me while I box it all up as the realisation dawns on me that I've forgotten to get her anything. Cash it is then
All very ironic in view of the fact I've bought knack all for my actual family!

Evening all

Nursery hamper sounds really lovely tarti. I still haven't finished my shopping either- I just simply cannot be bothered. I am going to do a mad rush Saturday morning but as it is mostly chocs and alcohol I still need to get should be ok....

DD was rocked and sang to (Elvis seems to work best, no idea why ) tonight, but upstairs, so a little better than last couple of awful nights. I'm going to do spaced soothing starting after xmas as may be a little disruptive for her before then... will post how we get on anyway.

Right, going to have an early night with my DH and a good book for a change, fingers crossed for a good night's sleep!

We've only just cracked sleep Polka as we were total wusses at being tough. Also have the problem of dp not sticking to any vaguely tough strategy so it seemed a bit pointless trying to implement it. You definitely need to be both on board, or have one of you take total control of the situation. I found it difficult for sleep strategies as I've never been convinced that there wasn't a genuine reason they were upset so preferred to err on the side of comfort. I think that stems from a memory of waking v upset from a bad dream & my mum refusing to come in to me. Anyway, the boys are great at the moment and ds2 cheerfully waves us out of the room. We do know when he wakes during the night though as we hear Alfie bloody Bear singing, or the tv mobile thingy. Could never have envisaged that a month ago!

Loving the highlight of the house being presence of Sky Lottie!! How is curtain material surfing going?

Glad you've got the HV to see J if you're worried GG. Hopefully that will mean he'll suddenly just get on & do it of his own accord. lol @ your appreciation of being `out'!

Tarti, I did that checking with mn on nursery gift etiquette thing but came to a different conclusion. The handmade/thought that counts' posts stuck in my psyche so they got one of our <span class="line-through">naff</span> handmade cards & I decided the chocs I'd thought about sending might get a not another box of chocs' response in the staff room. They are being appreciated here instead - oops!

Had an uncomedy moment tonight. We all have colds again and poor ds2 has thrown up a couple of times through coughing. Well, tonight dp lifted him from his highchair after he been a bit icky & bent down to lift ds1 up.... and ds2 threw up all over ds1's head. It was like a gunge-tank scene from bad Saturday night tv. Was v bad of me, but I did laugh. Unlike the boys. Bad Mummy .

No no girls, I definitely win the prize for person who's bought least presents for everyone. I have bought precisely NO gifts so far. Actually that's not true, bought a gilet for niece and that's it. EEEK, all a disaster really :( Must go present shopping this morning and tomorrow morning. Girls got given a Haba 'ice cream shop' set for their birthday and it's made of lovely soft fleecy fabric and they LOVE it, am on the lookout for more play food to give them and we'll save a 'big present' (ie. balance bike or scooter) for when we get back. Unless I fancy spending £100 on a Micro scooter...

(Feeling guilty so now have other window open browsing White Company dressing gowns to buy for my mum... damn they don't do next day delivery!)

It's a funny one re. sleep ALL. From my reading the nightmare phase starts um... anytime from about now - and that's a whole different bag of fun. I have to admit I never leave them if they wake up at night really, I have in the past but it's my experience that they rarely go back to sleep and genuinely have woken up for a very annoying dummy-related reason. But when it comes to going to sleep I'm quite strict. We have the same routine every night - they are happy when we turn the light off and leave the room, with J chanting 'night night mummy!' quite happily. Then they are quiet for about 1/2 an hour, and then J starts screaming. I go in at this point and firmly but gently tell her to go to sleep (all the while chucking any stray dummies I can find into her cot), and she lies down immediately and snuggles her blanket. I don't know why she does this... - prob for attention but I can't leave her screaming at this point. Last night was particularly amusing - we then had another 45 minutes of quiet before I heard giggling and J shouting "JELLY FLOOD JELLY FLOOD!" (joke for any Ben & Holly fans there), followed by "JELLY, JELLY, MORE MORE MORE!". Straight away there was quiet and she went to sleep after that, the nutter.

Had a bit of a grrr last night at DH who appears to have lost all ability to help around the house since being away so much. He's now home for Christmas, not that it would be evident from any actual help being forthcoming...

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!! I've done almost nothing (but neither have some of you so I feel loads better about that ), the house is a tip and the turkey dinner's coming in foil trays from Marks & Spencer but what the hell. I love xmas I do. Hope you're all happy and well and looking forward to having extra people around to baby wrangle if nothing else.

Here's a thing - I was going to go back to work 3 days a week when the DTs are one, but I don't want to. There, I've said it. I don't want to go back to work. I always thought I would, and it's not because it's a bad thing or anything like that, I just feel that since we can more or less afford for me to stay at home, and I'm old enough to have had a fun and satisfying career so far anyway, I should take the opportunity and do it. Would love to keep a freelance bits and bobs going instead of a proper job, but have to accept that I may be waving my career goodbye. But you know what, I sort of don't care. I've slogged so frigging hard this first nine months that it doesn't seem fair that I should have to see them less now it's finally getting fun! So I might be the only person in my "circle" to pack it in and be a stay at home mum... I feel strangely rebellious and sort of 1950s at the same time.

So can I ask, if any of you took the plunge and jacked it in, have you regretted it?

In other news, our favourite new things are waving (and waving, and waving), and big wet kisses. Mmm, lovely. And a bit horrible.

Oh, and I forgot to say - Chesticles, once I stopped reading your new codename to rhyme with Hercules, it was a lot funnier. Bad news my lovely children, your mummy's an idiot.

Good evening all!

foxtail I really think you should do whatever is best for you and your family- if you feel this is staying at home and you can afford to I don't see why you shouldn't go for it, especially if you can keep some doors open by doing some freelance.

I handed in my notice a few weeks ago- besides from the cost of childcare for 2 babies, I just really did not want to leave them anyway. Our decision has meant that we will be quite skint for a while to be honest, but we are more than prepared to make that sacrifice. I know some people don't have any choice at all, but the cost of childcare near my work was just unbelievable and there isn't any evening work that I would be able to do at the moment.

I also factored in that I wasn't in my chosen career- I do have my degree but want to do postgraduate. We have decided we will probably not have any more children as I will be about 30 when they start school so I will have chance (hopefully) to carve a career for myself then. This may all change of course!

Looking forward to hearing other people's experiences of this!

WHAT? There is a nightmare phase almost upon us Lottie?? Bugger. I spose things are never `cracked' really.... I agree - we found the night wake-ups by far the most difficult. We've had a set bedtime routine from when they were little though it took us til they were just over a year to stop rocking / singing etc and I have only recently stopped sitting with them til they were asleep. Tbf, ds1 always lies straight down & goes to sleep (& has requested a blanket the last 2 nights - result!) but ds2 has needed a bit more reassurance.

Foxtail - I didn't give up work, but did take 15months off and then requested p/t (3 days) which resulted in me losing all of my responsibilites so as I'm ancient effectively my career' is probably over, at least for the forseeable. That has been difficult to get my head around. Not helped by pretty much immediately taking another 15months maternity leave. There has been a huge change in the management structure since a couple of weeks before I went off on my 1st mat leave so I felt I had to prove myself all over again. I really didn't want to go back until I actually did it, and then have enjoyed being part of a team again. Recently learned we're going to be poorer than I thought for longer cos of childcare costs due to the timing of the 3yr old funding rules. I don't really need to work. However, I keep thinking about when they're all in school & I need something for me'. My mum was a sahm her whole life after getting married and really struggled after my youngest brother left home.

Nightmare day here today. Still all full of cold/coughs. Was worried I might be getting mastitis earlier as dd is so suffily she's not feeding as constantly as she was so I've been v engorged & sore. Ds2 has cried pretty much all day. Not good when your head is about to explode anyway. We'd hired a carpet cleaner so dp was trying to do that while I tried to keep order. So ds2 ended up having 2 x 90min sleeps this afternoon as the only thing I could do to stop the wailing was try putting him back to bed. Must've needed it & hopefully he'll be back on form tomorrow as we're out for lunch with friends... think my brother is making a `surprise' appearance... and then the ILs turn up. At least we did the food shopping early today & the house is vaguely presentable...

Hi just a quickie as we are off to pils today and not sure I will have internet access - so HAPPY CHRISTMAS!! This thread has been a lifesaver at times for me this year, well ever since I was pregnant in fact... lots of love to all of you (and to absent friends - Lavita and MM where are you??!)

Lottie will be thinking of you especially and hope the coming few days are as restful as they can be given the circs!

ALL two 90 min naps is good going. Mine had NO NAPS yesterday - just refused to sleep. So much for getting job done.

Foxtail I went back part time - 3 days - after ten months of mat leave. I really didn't want to go back (more out of laziness than anything if I'm honest) but it has been fine on the whole. Being part time definitely has its downsides, and I sense pressure every now and then from DH to increase to 4 days but I am sticking to my guns! Financially we don't benefit that greatly from my income at the moment what with two nursery places to pay for, but I'm playing the long game I guess. I think you will know what is right for your family. There are all shapes and sizes of family on here who have made the various solutions work, so it's all possible!

jobs

Happy Christmas everyone. Have to say am feeling so bloody sad today, already cried twice saying goodbyes to a friend I bumped into in the supermarket, and to our cleaner who is just lovely and turned up armed with gifts for the girls, etc. :(

Off to get the girls from nursery in a minute and not sure I'll be able to stop myself collapsing in a heap of tears. Their main teacher isn't in today so said her goodbyes yesterday - she ended up sobbing "please don't go" through her tears as she hugged them goodbye. Boo hoo. I hate goodbyes. I know it's the right thing to go home but it's all so stressful and at the moment we're only experiencing the sad and difficult bits.

Will be back to write more when feeling a bit cheerier.

Oh my god Polka you're so young...

foxtail I'm 26 but I don't feel young- my joints still haven't fully recovered from pregnancy how I ache!

lottie I hope the move goes well for you!

Wishing everyone a wine fueled Merry Christmas!!

Happy Christmas everyone. We have 3 hyper kids running around. J and D don't have a clue, but a hyper H is whipping them up into a frenzy. Am just off to stick the kids in bed, finish off the wrapping, and then get stuck into a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates

Yes, have a fabby one everyone! Think we've forgotten something cos it's all too calm here. Wrapped the little we have, stockings done, turkey in & pigs in blankets prepped. Finally made the Xmas puds & got the cake iced but can't find the decorations so 'snowstorm white-out' theme it is...

Bought the boys' wellies today & went puddle jumping - huge hit! Was a bit worried ds1 would just get upset at being 'messy' (thanks nursery), but they both loved it and have wandered around the house tonight in an odd pair of wellies each - and nowt else!

Have a lovely time everyone!

I'm guessing the silence is a sign that family festivities are being enjoyed (or much packing / goodbyes for lottie).

We had a lovely Xmas day, but I have been in hospital since with dd. She's got bronchiolitis. Having read a bit after hearing about lottie and mumof1's experiences I wasn't overly worried. However, after testing -ve for the virus that usually causes it, they tested for a load of others. Turns out she does have the common one but also has another 2 virus infections, including swine flu. Poor baby. She was causing a lot of concern but is a lot better today. They have said there tends to be a 3 day cycle of being up & down so we may be here a while yet. Since we now have flu diagnosis the boys aren't allowed to visit which means dp can't come either.& everyone who comes into our room is owned & masked - I feel pike a right old leper. Like we haven't already spread our germs far & wide....

Thanks to technology at least I have the whole internet and loads of books to read!

Just came on to quickly mark my place but poor poor you and baby girl ALL - hope you've got plenty of visitors despite the lack of DP and boys - suppose at least people are generally off work this week. Must be so tough being stuck in there, glad to hear she seems better today, hopefully it won't be only temporary. Must go now as it's chaos here but back later for a chat x

Thanks tarti. Nope, no visitors. ILs have gone home. They did offer to stay but mil's df needs to move house this week so she's already stressing enough about that. Was useful to have them here when w were admitted tho cos my car was stranded at the walk-in centre as we were transferred to hospital by ambulance. They even entertained the boys in the car while dp brought supplies in. Wouldn't like to infect the few friends we have locally so it's just us. We managed to take boys to park yesterday & tomorrow I'll take boys out & leave dp with Cora & some ebm.

Making the most of the opportunity to read....

Oh not ideal at all ALL. Have you any idea at all of how long you can expect her to be in? So unlucky for you, I haven't heard of any other swine flu cases at all this year. How is C sleeping so far in hospital? Hope you're at least getting a good rest in between feeds.

Wish I had some good chat to entertain you but not really. Christmas at the in laws' passed off without major incident, I was on my best behaviour and they are both so generous and good with the girls that I feel I should overlook the many niggly things about them and staying there. But I was glad to get back home nonetheless. M and R are completely hyper with all their new presents, we've had to sort through new and old and hide a good 50% in the garage today as they were just running rampage around the place flinging stuff everywhere and not playing with anything.

Hits have been an Aquadoodle set, some Russian dolls (random) and the hand me down play kitchen - although Maggie is already obsessively overattached to it and am starting to see why GG dislikes hers! Feel terrible saying this but I am finding all day every day with them very wearing even with DH around. In fact especially with DH around (can't put my finger on why this is as he is ostensibly helpful). Have come to the conclusion that I am in essence fairly selfish and a bit lazy - think the ideal would be me working maybe 1 1/2 days a week and them in nursery every morning leaving me free to tidy up, cook, browsemagazinesdomyhairandhavecoffeewithfriends . There, I said it!
I'm looking forward to some imaginary time in the future where they will actually sit in a chair and do colouring in, or playdo (can't seem to keep both interested at once), or stick stickers into a book with me, or read .. ooh we did have a breakthrough with the TV though, having watched the BBC Gruffalo's Child once, R actually requested it again today and they sat nicely and watched most of it. I must be the only person on mn trying to encourage the kids to watch TV!

In other news I have been stuffing my fat face non stop and am in serious need of some low-carb action. Will start after the weekend. Have a small amount of Christmas money to buy some clothes but really feel I don't deserve anything until I've lost at least half a stone!

Anyway lots of love to you ALL and hi to everyone else

Just a quick hello as I'm off to bed

Sorry I've been so absent, I've had back to back family visits since the beginning of December and MIL (nice one!) is here until the 16th Jan

ALL Thinking of you and little Cora hope it's all going well and she's much better xx

Will give you all a mammoth post soon, Tarti I could of written your post