I'm about at the end of my tether with broken nights - what did you do?

[RosinaCopper]

My dts are just over a year old and have never yet slept through. They are on three good meals a day, I have just introduced a bottle of formula at bedtime (as yet no effect). Until then they were breastfed, and still are when they wake in the night, as this has been the way for me to get the most sleep. Some nights it is horrific, with a seemingly continuos relay of feeding. Other nights it seems to be each waking every 3 hours or so, but thankfully not at the same time. I still sleep in the same room as the babies, as I don't want to have to be fully awake and walking from one room to another to feed and then going back to my bed, only to be disturbed 30 mins later by the next call!

I realise that I am going to have to bite the bullet at some point to get this sorted out, because I'm getting a bit down about it now. We have space to separate the twins and have their cots in separate rooms, but I felt very strongly that they should be together early on, and now it seems a bit mean to separate them (it doesn't matter how bad my night has been, I always smile when I see them beaming at each other in the morning).

I'm just interested to know what others did in this situation.

We gave a big bottle of formula before bed, and another big bottle first thing, and they stopped bothering so much at night.

I've heard of other parents giving water through the night, or watering down the overnight formula gradually so they decide it's not worth waking up for - have you tried that?

It is really tough, I hate disturbed nights, they seem to get harder to cope with.

It's really difficult when they don't sleep through. My boys only really started about 11 months. What worked for us was a really strong bedtime routine, so that they knew the difference between nighttime sleep and just a nap. So they had a bath, then a bottle of milk, and then put striaght to bed, with a monile with nightlight thing playing (this was never used at any time apart from bedtime).

I would also reccommend you sleeping in a different room from them. Babies are really noisy at night, and snort and snuffle and even cry once in a while, but they are still asleep, and resettle themselves ok. Obviously if they are properly crying you will need to go through to them, but if you are in a different room you don't hear, or learn to ignore, the small disturbances.

Hope things improve soon

Agree with londonlottie re putting babies in their own rooms now. I think its a big step but I suspect you will all sleep better as a result. You cant underestimate how much more you will relax when they are in their own room, and you all have your own space. I always made sure my girls loved their room, made it pretty, interesting etc, and stuck to a steadfast routine at bedtime. It doesnt always go to plan, (i still have blips now, and they are 3 and half) but think once you move them to own room, you can properly start weaning them off any night feeds - definitely try just giving dummy or drink in night, as its often just comfort they want. Good luck, and to echo londonlottie, these steps are often hard to recognise yourself when youre in the situation, my husband would always be the logical one and then afterwards I would look back and say 'ah yes, that was the obvious thing to do'. Hope it goes well xxx

Sleep in a different room as everyone is saying, but also, don't offer milk at night. you know they are getting enough food and nutrients so just offer water from a bottle. Otherwise you are telling them that if they still want breast milk they need to wake you up and you'll provide it.

We had to sleep train dd (as we were at the end of our tether) but after 3 nights she was sleeping though. We would leave for 5 mins crying then go back and calm her down (we did cuddle her as she was in such a state it seemed pointless expecting her to calm on her own), then 10 mins before returning, then 15, then 20 (and then every 20 mins until asleep). Best to find jobs to do to distract you rather than sitting outside the room crying as I did the first night!). Tbh we never left dd for 20 mins as she was mostly asleep after 15mins to start with and then 10 was enough.

I personally wouldn't give a dummy after 1 year old as your just creating another battle for a later point. I'm not against them for lettle bables but after a year it's best to avoid them so it doesn't affect speech.

I've also been told not to whisk a crying twin out of the room even if the other is asleep if the sleeping arrangements mean they will share for a while - they need to get used to noise and learn to ignore it (apparently they do). I only have dd1 - twins are due Friday after next so I have all this to come.

Good luck. x