Anyone else have ID boys who are a little behind in milestones?

[professorsnape]

Hi,
I have 11 month old (11 months in a few days) ID twin boys. They were exactly one month premature from their due date. They're doing ok - eating very well, so size/growth wise are big babies for their age. They're very smiley and respond to their name, they look over when I ask 'where's daddy' or their big sister's name. on occasion, they might look up if i say 'where's the light' etc. they're babbling, saying da da/ la la la, etc.
However, they're only sitting up at 9 months, don't have great strength in legs, but can stand with help. they're 'bum shuffling' to get around but not crawling yet, although they can roll and wriggle on tummies.
they seem much more passive that my old DD, who was almost feeding herself, was cruising furniture and standing up by herself at this age.
should i be worried? they seem like happy little boys, maybe it's a 'twin thing' if they're more passive. they were only 1 month premature so not that behind. am hearing lots about high incidence of ID and ASD so am hoping boys will be ok.
any advice welcome.

I should mention that I also feel hugely guilty as didn't have as much time to play/read stories/talk to/practise standing up with my boys as I did with my first child.
I feel a bit guilty that I'm to blame for them being a bit behind developmentally.
am back to work now and boys in a creche

That doesn't sound too behind to me - effectively they were sitting up at 8 months (being a month prem), so that's perfectly normal. I personally wouldn't get hung up on the fact that they are twins and that this may affect their development. Studies I think show that it is basically the prematurity which affects development and this will resolve itself naturally by 2 years. Also, your attention is always going to be shared if you have twins. And in your case you have no option but to share it three ways. They do say that subsequent siblings (i.e. not eldest child) tend to be a little bit behind but a lot more chilled out!

If you do have worries, talk to your health visitor. Did you have an 8 month check (do they still do that)?

People, including some health professionals who should know better, are keen to attribute delayed development to twins but to "blame" it on the fact that they are twins. Insist that your children are treated as singletons in that respect. I.e. if they do become delayed at some point, don't be fobbed off by people saying that they are twins.

But at the moment that sound really really normal contented babies to me.

Don't worry too much. My triplets were 7 weeks prem and the boys crawled at 12 months, DD at 12. The boys walked at 17 months, DD at 18. They sound like they're doing fine. :)

girls tend to be quicker to hit milestones than boys and twins being prem is also supposed to affect them a little - nothing to worry about though. If your worried then speak to your hv but really it sounds like they're doing fine.

I have b/g twins who are nearly 17 months.

My daughter followed all the usual milestones and started walking at about 14 months.

My son, however did not crawl til he was nearly 12 months and still cannot walk. I'd say he's still a couple of months off it too.

I think boys quite often develop later than girls, her hips are wider and she's more sturdy where as he's quite petite (still in 9-12 months clothes) and hasn't really got the strength in his legs to steady himself yet.

I'm not too worried. He'll do things in his own time.

Congratulations on your twins!

I have ID twin girls who are now 18 mo.

I was told by a paediatrician (who we were seeing for problems with DT1) that it is perfectly normal for ID twins to be 6 months 'behind' a singleton developmentally but they catch up by school age. Certainly that is my experience. They definitely seem about 5 months younger than their actual age even though they were only a month prem. But I have been assured by so many people this is normal, and to be honest I've loved it - it really has seemed like an extended babyhood. I also have an older child who was talking to me in sentences by the age my DT's are now - they make a couple of animal noises and have 2 words! DS was completely self-feeding by now, DT's are just starting etc etc... but it's all perfectly normal for ID twins, so really wouldn't worry.

Thank you all for the advice!

That's interesting theotherboleyngirl about the 5 months delay :)

Just want to tell you all that one of my DSs crawled for the first time today! No stopping him now :)

yay well done little one!