Separate rooms to improve sleep?

[Anjelika]

Hi

I have 7 month old DTs (B/G) who share a room but I am starting to wonder if we might all get more sleep if they went into separate rooms. DD wakes most nights. I don't feed her and sometimes she can easily be settled back to sleep but at other times she can't and then (so as not to wake DS) I take her into bed with us. If either of them wake between 4 & 6, I immediately grab them and take them into bed with us as I find at that time of day the other will always wake if there's noise. Should I just be a bit braver and insist they stay in their cots (even if the other one wakes) or did others find it better to just put them in separate rooms when they weren't both sleeping through the night? Last night I had DD in with me from 2.30 as she wouldn't settle in her cot after waking and DS then slept happily until gone 7 - well I heard him chatting a few times after 6 but he kept going back to sleep, I think because he was alone in the room and not being disturbed by his noisy sister!

Just go with your instincts. Try different rooms and if it improves the situation, carry on, or if not, change it back. They are still tiny and insisting they stay in their cots probably will just make them both scream and wake each other. You are juggling two sets of different needs, so if your son sleeps well while your daughter needs you, just go with the flow and do what works best for everyone.

I had similar problems at around the same age (I think it was teething), and I wanted to try separate rooms but DH was dead against it. He wanted them to share for as long as possible, as he had happy memories of sharing a room.

Luckily he shared the disturbed nights, so I stuck at it, and as soon as their teeth started to come through they were much better. I'm really glad I did, as listening to them giggling away together in the mornings is so lovely!

Thanks for the replies. It is in our best interests to keep them in the same room as we will lose our spare room otherwise (and I'll have nowhere to go to escape DH's snoring!)so it's reassuring that you think this might be just a phase. At the end of the day, neither of them are terrible sleepers - it would just be so lovely (for me) if they both slept through the night! Actually I think they have managed it on the same night twice and both times DS1 woke me for some reason!

As the others have said, go with your instincts and play it by ear. It's all trial and error as you have your own very individual set up and combination of babies.

I moved mine into separate rooms and it was an immediate success. I have one in the spare room with the spare bed which i use when she is difficult to settle. The other is rarely difficult to settle so she is in with my older children. In time, probably in January when they are 1 I am going to have them all in together again as I think now their sleeping patterns are much less affected by noise than they were when they were younger.

It just goes on!! DD has just about slept through the night 2 nights on the trot (big hurrah!) but DS has now started waking - 3 times last night, the last time being 5.25, at which point I took him in with us. DD then woke (think she must've been woken by the noise) and I took her into the spare room with me, where she slept till almost 8!! Am now back to thinking separate rooms until both are consistently sleeping through till at least 6.

The thing is that unless you have a massive house, they are probably only across the landing from each other so the crying is still audible. But I think it (separate rooms) helps psychologically so that you don't feel panicked if one cries and it does deaden it somewhat. It worked for me anyway.

5am crying is the worst though, as that is when they are in the lightest sleep imo.

I agree about the 5am crying. Anything after about 4.30 and I quickly grab the culprit and take them into bed with us just to shush them up. Take your point about them still being able to hear each other even in separate rooms but DS1 is just next to their room and does manage to sleep through their crying on the whole. Think we will take a view after Xmas when visitors have left and we can think about reclaiming the spare room.

Hi, I have just seen your posts and thought I would add what we have done/are doing with our b/g twins who are 7 months. They have been in separate rooms since their 3rd night at home! To begin with we put them together in the same cot but our little girl disco danced around the bed so much she disturbed her brother. Not only this but I felt like I was up and down every 10 mins re-positioning her. We tried a cot divider but they ended up bumping into it, we tried swaddling (which our oldest son loved) but they got frustrated and wanted their hands free! So after a few nights, a cot was set up in our room and our little lady moved in with us! The plan was to move them back into the same room once they slept for longer but keeping them separate so far has worked really well. If one has been snuffly, unsettled etc... then the other wasn't disturbed. I think if their room was bigger then we would have moved them already but it's a v.small room and their cots will be practically ajoined. They now sleep really well most of the time, maybe waking for milk at 6 ish and then back to bed for sometimes 10 mins, sometimes an hour or so. We now just need to bite the bullet and get them in the same room, hope for the best and reclaim our bedroom!!!

I agree we all the other MN'ers who say that you should trust your instincts and go with what works for you. Our twins are 2 now and they went into separate rooms after DD started wanting to sleep through at 4mths, but was woken again and again by DS. Separate rooms was the best thing ever, even if we had to lose our spare room for a couple of years.

Having already had one son (now 4) I knew that there would be lots more phases/teething/illnesses to come that would wake at least one of them. All mine sleep differently and took different amounts of time to settle, but when not ill they each get 12 hours every night and it makes life that bit easier. The twins are next door to one another and can hear each other to some extent, but it is more of a comfort than a disturbance when the noise is muffled by a room divide and they can sleep through it more easily.

To solve the spare room problem, we gave DS2 (the worst sleeper) the biggest room and put a cot as well as a double bed in it. When guests come he shares another room in a travel cot/truckle bed. Now that he is older, he sleeps in the double bed and loves it! Whenever he has been ill it meant that I could sleep in the double bed in his room next to him. To be honest it has meant that we haven't had a wasted spare room that hardly ever gets slept in and it hasn't been difficult for guests at all because the room is painted neutral with lots of children's pictures.

Go with whatever suits your family best. I stuck with what worked best for me because DH doesn't get up in the night and I do!

Great to see this thread being resurrected! Like you Mistybluehills, we already have one DS (almost 4) who wasn't the best of sleepers but is now fine and I really take your point about the phases and illnesses to come. Like you, my DH doesn't get up in the night either (claims he doesn't hear them!). We really don't have room for a double bed plus cot in either of the rooms the babies would have but we could manage a single plus cot in one and that would be an alternative to turfing DS1 out of his bed when anyone came to stay.

Anyway, for the moment we are leaving them in the same room as they are as things aren't too bad. DD woke in the night last night but didn't wake her twin brother and woke for the day at 6.30 but again didn't wake him. It's all a bit unpredictable at the moment though - sometimes, one crying will wake the other and at other times it won't. Naps are a problem though and would be another good reason to give them separate rooms. I find they don't always need to go down at the same time - say if one has woken at 6 and the other at 7 - plus DD can stay awake for longer periods and only usually naps for 30 mins at a time. We have to whip her out of the cot the minute she wakes from her morning nap and we give her an afternoon nap downstairs in the pushchair - we can often get her back to sleep in that after the 30 minute wake-up whereas it's impossible if she's in the cot.