Anyone from Brunei, Singapore, Malaysia or married to anyone from the region?

[SweetFudge]

Hi,

I'm Bruneian Chinese and have been living in the U.K. for over a decade bar annual and long visits home. Married here and am expecting first baby end of August. I've posted on and off on MN and I'm curious to see how many of us are from the region or married to/have partners from those countries. Of course, getting to know you all will be the bonus.

not from that region (nor husband) but did live in Sarawak for many years as a child (Miri) as my father worked in the oil industry

Cool, Chicagomum. How long ago was that? Did you get to visit other parts of Sarawak during your years there?

Hi SF, my dh is Indian Malaysian. He grew up in Malacca but all his family now live near KL. He hasn't lived there for a long, long time but we go and visit every year.

it was a long time ago (15 years!) i'd love to go back and have a look how much its changed as when we were there it quite an under developed area (in terms of roads buildings etc) we used to fly to Labuan occasionally or drive to Brunei and when flying back to uk we would first fly to KL then Singapore and onwards to london, we also visited Hong Kong. it was a great place to be as a kid going to the beach everyday after school etc

Hi, Bran. Does DH miss food from Malaysia at all? My Malaysian cousins have been here for about 20 years now and we all still crave certain dishes and soups, types of fruit like rambutans, papayas (terribly expensive here for a little ole papaya in Tescos), etc.

Chicagomum, Miri was recently officially made a city and it is buzzing with new housing, shops, night life, etc. It still needs a lot of resource and money to be pumped into it as parts are still rather run down and shabby but it is a vibrant place. When you mentioned the beaches, it really gave me a pang. We were never very far away from a beach in Brunei as it is a tiny coastal country. Nothing like watching a sunset at a beach to make one feel relaxed.

Yes he does miss the food a lot SF, although mango is his favourite fruit and our local Waitrose does amazingly good ones so that helps. He has also learnt to cook some of his favourites, he does fantastic chicken rice and I can do roti chanai (I buy pre-made frozen rotis). I think food just tastes better in Malaysia because of the humidity, you can sort of taste the smell, and we'd never be able to recreate that here.

bran, you can come to my house and cook for me! and i would like to add to that order - laksa, rendang, char kway teow, wanton mee, popiah, mee soto .... hmmm.... don't get me started. yup, a malaysian here. did you guess?

Yes, I know. Bran being able to make roti canai. I stand in awe. Whereabouts in Malaysia, csa?

If you ask nicely I'll tell you the secret ingredient for the dahl for the roti canai (I'm that I spelt it wrongly, my ex-Malay teacher would be ). All our Malaysian friends think it tastes authentic, but it's really easy.

I'm Malaysian living in the frozen north, Belfast (ok temperatures this week have been great!)

Not a great cook, miss the food terribly and there's only one Malaysian restaurant in Belfast. What I wouldn't do for some thosai but all the Indian restaurants here are northern Indian ones.

DS's favourite noodle dish is char keow teoy (courtesy of annual trips home since he was born).

Would love to return to live in Malaysia but the Malaysian Government only grants citizenship to offspring of Malaysian fathers, Malaysian mothers don't count

Bran, you can spell roti canai however you want since you are able to make that dahl and we can't! Is it a very secret recipe for the dahl or can we know? I miss the crispy dosai and roti where we often eat on a Sunday morning at our family's favourite Indian restaurant. Makes a real change from having tim sum.

Pam70, what are the rules on British offspring living in Malaysia? Do they have to be sponsored by a family member residing in Malaysia? Sounds damned unfair not to extend citizenship rule to mothers as well. I miss home cooking most. My dad does the cooking at home and he makes the most mouth watering soups with wintermelon and sambal belachan.

It depends what you mean by British offspring - if they're British but kids of expats, they're ok so long as one of their parents holds a work permit for a certain number of years.

If they're British eg. mother Malaysian and father British but father is not an expat on a work visa then they have no right of abode - they can visit for 3 months.

What about Brunei?

Wintermelon and sambal belachan? not in the same soup????

Hello there Sweetfudge
My husband's family are Chinese from KK in Sabah, but moved to Australia when he was little, I am English, we used to live in London and are now back in Australia. My MIL has just come back from 4 months in Sabah with 4kilos of dried prawns but tells me there was a bad ikan bilis harvest this year

That's really quite shocking about the visas Pam, actually it isn't is it

SweetFudge, the secret ingredient in my dahl is Patak's Korma paste . I tried doing it from scratch (I have all the spices as I cook a lot of Indian), but using the paste really got the taste just right.

I gently fry some finely chopped onion until soft, then add the paste and fry that for a few minutes, at this stage you can also add some chopped chillis if you want. Then add boiling water, a handful of red lentils and some creamed coconut (the kind that comes in a block). Cook for a bit then add some big chunks of vegetables, I usually use potato, carrot and green beans. Boil gently until soft. The lentils should almost dissolve completely and the whole thing should be watery, if it's gloopy you probably added to many lentils.

I wish I could make Rojak, but even if I could get the dressing right I don't think it would taste the same with European vegetables.

The Malaysians are very funny about their citizenship aren't they Pam, we have several friends who had their Malaysian citizenship taken away as soon as they got permanant residency in the UK. DH and I are in a bit of a quandry about what to do when ds's adoption is finalised as we never got around to registering our marriage with the Malaysian embassy (long story involving the bizarreness of being Protestant in Ireland). I'm not sure whether ds would be able to apply for Malaysian citizenship if he wanted to in the future. At least he can be Irish (I hope, I haven't checked), they're more of the opinion that citizenship is a right not a priviledge.

suzy - I thought you were African?

Oh, Bran. Thank you for the dahl recipe. I've copied it down and will be attempting it this weekend.

My Lord! You even contemplate making rojak....I feel ashamed. I just wait till I go on my annual visits. But true, true. All the veg here wouldn't be right for the ingredients. We'd need sotong for starters which I've never seen in any of the Chinese shops even in Chinatown.

Pam, the latter description you gave is what I meant. I actually don't know what the situation is in Brunei with that. That is because as a Chinese individual, I don't have an automatic right to citizrnship in my own country! I don't have a passport. Merely what is termed an international certificate of identity. Works like a passport, looks like one but it means I have to apply for visas wherever I go. And oh, the fun of my encounters with the immigration officials wherever I travel.

There are thousands of us in Brunei who remain stateless despite being fourth/fifth generation Chinese. My father is stateless as well and though my mum has citizenship, we are legally barred from benefiting from her status. Hence, no rights to property, business, etc. We have a business and we have property - all in Mum's name which is handy.

Following censure from the UNand the U.S. dept of state over a number of years, we are now designated "Permanent Residents". However, it is a cosmetic amendment for the most part. We still have to apply for re-entry permits every 2-5 years. If that expires and we haven't renewed the permits to reside in our country of birth(!), we run into a lot of legal trouble. Even individuals like my dad who do reside in Brunei are required to comply with this regular renewal. So there have been a number of times when I'd be studying at Uni, book for my summer vac home and then realise that I'd have to chase for a re-entry renewal at the embassy in London because I have less than 2 months left on my current re-entry permit. One year, it resulted in the bizzare situation where my British boyfriend could travel to Brunei but I was barred because of the re-entry problem.

We can apply for citizenship. The exams however, are based on obscure subjects such as knowledge of the different crafts developed over centuries, knowledge of the royal court dress codes and ceremonies, etc. This is clearly discriminatory in nature and has similarities to the citizenship exams which the new emancipated American slaves were expected to pass - ie. the were expected to have knowledge of the country's flora and fauna.

The frustration and anger we have held over generations was enough to make our non-legal status the subject of my thesis during my Masters. I eventually dropped that subject because (stupidly!) I requested some historical files from the national library in Brunei which were rather sensitive in nature and that started an alarming line of enquiry from the state affairs office! Yes, very OTT.

Suzywong, hello! How do you and your DH cook/use the dried prawns? We mostly use ours as part of the ingredients for making sambal. Too bad about the ikan bilis though. Goes rather well in soups.

I have cousins in Perth and their access to Asian produce/veg and good cheap Asian food (there are food stalls that serve everything from nasi lemak to chicken rice,etc) is much better. One of my cousins can buy freshly made soya milk on a daily basis. I resort to buying the So Good soya milk at Tesco.

What is the comparison in access between London and Australia for you?

Joolstoo, that's too funny, I 'm plummy Home Counties whitey!

SF, Perth is little Borneo it really is. You should come for a visit. Ummm... we live with my MIL an she used the prawns as a seasoning like you do rather than an ingredient, puts them with mince beef and tofu. I love them but I can't bear Ikan Bilis. What's your mother-tongue? My lot speak Hakka. I've flown with RBA but never been out of the airport, will have to do that next time we go back to visist the rellies

Oh sorry didn't see that last bit, well the comparison in access is Perth = same time zone and 5 hours away and you know all about the joureny from London to Brunei I'm sure.

Our kids ds1 4yr, ds2 21 months have never been to meet the Sabahans. We can get very cheap package holidays from Perth to KK so will have to go and stay in the Tanjang Aru for a week and introduce the kids to their roots.

SW, I'm Hockien. My parents can speak Hakka and some of my cousins are half Hakka and half Hockien. I understand Hakka but can't speak it very well.

DH has reached the stage where he can understand a fair bit of Hockien but finds the inflections difficult to master. What about you? I expect you've picked up quite a bit of Hakka or are even fluent in it?! On the rare occasions that I remember to do so, I try to speak in Hockien to DH as a way for him to learn my dialect. Reason we are keen is because I want our kids to be bilingual and we both don't want DH to miss out when I start teaching them my dialect.

I'm not partial to ikan bilis as well. They flavour soups quite well but then I have to fish (bad pun) the buggers out before I have my soup.

You MIL sounds like a great cook. My Perth cousins keep urging me to visit them as well. It is v. tempting!

my FIL was Hokkien, and a bit of Kadazan/Dusan too.

DH speaks exclusively in Hakka to the kids although ds1 always replies in English (ds2 is babbling at the moment). I can understand most of what they are saying but if I ever try and speak in Hakka ds1 just looks at me as thought I'm mad,must be the inflection same as your dh.

You really should come to Perth, RBA is the cheapest flight usually you know.

Made me laugh what you said about your ds1, SW. Our combined families sound really similarly colorful. One of my aunts married a Dusun from KK, another married an Iban from Miri so our cousins are quite good looking. Made me feel rather dull being all Hokkien when I was young.

Our baby (and the first) is due this end of August, so I was getting a bit excited when talking about kids in plural.

This little one is much anticipated as he/she will be the first grandchild on both sides after a long wait and our fertility setbacks and miscarriages.

Do your boys have English and Chinese first names? DH and I were informed I'm carrying a boy by the scanographer but we aren't fussed either way. My mum and dad will be choosing the chinese first name for the child and we'll choose the english name.

RBA is the cheapest, I agree. I will, I will visit Perth. It sounds grand.

suzy - but on your Aid for Africa thread you said you were African or am I completely ga-ga or were you winding us up