Anyone from Brunei, Singapore, Malaysia or married to anyone from the region?

[SweetFudge]

Hi,

I'm Bruneian Chinese and have been living in the U.K. for over a decade bar annual and long visits home. Married here and am expecting first baby end of August. I've posted on and off on MN and I'm curious to see how many of us are from the region or married to/have partners from those countries. Of course, getting to know you all will be the bonus.

SF - good grief re: the citizenship issue in Brunei - that made rather depressing reading. I had a couple of Indonesian Chinese friends who all have "back up" permanent residency status in Singapore plus property etc (just in case!).

Not being nosy and you can tell me to bugger off - if all the property etc is in your mum's name, will she be able to pass it all on to you and your siblings?

Bran - you can retrospectively register your marriage with the M'sian Embassy but they will levy a fine on you - don't know how much but fine gets larger the longer you leave it. I know a couple who paid several thousand ringgit and their eldest child who was born in Ireland was granted permanent resident status while the two younger ones who were born in Malaysia got citizenship so I suspect your DS could probably apply for permanent resident status.

But PR is a pain because you have to apply to the Malaysian Government for a certificate if you want to leave the country.

The failure of some South Asian governments to recognise the contribution the chinese communities make to their countries is probably half the reason why access to decent Chinese / SE Asian food in Australia is so good.

Many Chinese families probably choose to emigrate to a country where they feel they can succeed through hard work and where they don't have to apologise for their colour or work ethic.

I do envy you being in Perth Suzy - we went for a short holiday 3 years ago and thought it was a great place to bring up kids - however wouldn't enjoy your set up with MIL under same roof though!!!!

Pam, both my mum and dad can leave property to us. The discriminatory laws don't affect legacies so both parents can leave chattels and property to anyone they wish.

Hear, hear with what you said about the extremely skewered discriminatory policies of certain S.E.Asian countries. Problem is that the racism (and that is what it is in ugly reality) is imbedded in the rule of law of the land and thus is legitimised through concepts such as the bumiputra principle, etc.

In the 1980s, hundreds of Chinese Bruneians emigrated to Australia and Canada because we had no real economic or social future in our birth country. Hence, Brunei loses out on valuable skilled labour and upcoming professionals.

It makes me angry and always will. Growing up in a country and being made to feel second class all the time does wonders for your discipline and determination to succeed. Mainly my parents would urge us to succeed, to not lose out and to believe we were as good as the bumiputras.

My DH is Thai and I live in Thailand - can i join in?!?!?!

sarah, did you get my email?

hi lou yes i did - sorry haven't replied yet it has been a crazy week (end of term).....will write tomorrow as am off to bed now

no it's ok was just checking it got there

take care x

Hello, sarahinphuket! Please join in. How are things there now? How long have you been living in phuket? Have the tourists started coming back to help revive tourism?

SF

Hi there,
I'm from Singapore, am I the only one?

Hello - currently living in the Midlands - I'm English and dh Chinese from tawau malaysia.

Hi Meggymoose

There're a couple of other English mners whose DHs come from Sabah too - think Suzywong and Meganandlucysmummy.

Most of us on this thread seem to have made our way over to the Chinese Mothers thread.

I'm Malaysian and DH is Irish.

Well correctly speaking I'm neither from these regions or married to anyone from these regions, but we did recently move back to the UK after a stint in Singapore and are very much missing the place
Finding it very hard to feel 'integrated' here.

hi journey2,
how long were you in singapore for? did your child/children go to school there?

I'm back for a month in november - can't wait! I have singapore food withdrawal symptoms

Journey 2 and Tootsieroll, I spent a year in KL in 2001, and I miss it every day, so I can totally sympathise. I can get most of the food in Asian supermarkets, which is great, but it doesn't taste the same - I'd love to know how to do the rice for nasi lemak if anyone can help me.

Hi Mrs Muddle,
recipe for Nasi lemak on the cyberkuali website. I tend to go there, together with Makan Time when I need some inspiration. For the nasi lemak, the easy way out is to cut everything out except for the coconut milk, which is the key ingredient. The pandan leave makes it much more fragrant, but I'm not sure it's sold that easily in the UK? Good luck!

Oooh great! Thanks for that. I've got pandan leaves in my freezer, so I'll be giving that a go.

Hi tootsieroll,
Were there 2 yrs. Our son was a year on arrival and eventually went pt to a childcare centre which he loved.
We are going back for a week and a bit end of this month as my husband has a work trip there.. and yes, I very much have food withdrawal symptoms too! Mmmm (go off into a dream thinking about it!) Am very excited!
How come you find yourself in the UK? (I would CAT you but you're not set up to)

Mrs Muddle - have discovered the asian supermarkets now which gives me some comfort, but I know what you mean, nothing beats the real thing food wise!

hi journey2,
Today's actually the 10th year anniversary since I left for the UK. Like many Singaporeans, I came here to study. Upon graduation I decided to just try applying for jobs, and got them, hence staying on. It was all meant to be a trial period, but things never work out the way you think they will ;) Anyway, the main reason why I'm in the UK these days is because my husband's British, and we also have a 4 month old wriggly worm Where in the UK are you?

Mrs Muddle
wow, amazing you actually have pandan leaves in your freezer! Do you have a big asian supermarket where you are?

Hi everyone

Am Malaysian - hadn't realised this thread had revived itself!

I am moving to Spore in October - DH (Irish) has been offered a job there.

Journey2 - I'd like to know a little bit more about the child care you had for your child in Spore.

I've made a short list of kindergartens for DH to go and have a look at (he is there this week).

I had a pandan plant in my sunroom (but I've managed to kill it (put it out on the deck in July, thinking it would be ok but even summers in Belfast are a bit too rough on the its delicate nature!)

Tootsieroll - is this your first trip back to Spore with the baby?

Hi Tootsieroll,
Wow 10 years out of the country, bet things have changed a bit each time you re visit?!
I know that even for me in 5/6 mths there will be changes already!
Trust me your wiggly worm of a 4mth old will soon be zooming around when he/she gets crawling and then a road runner when they get walking. I'm always blown away how little people so small and young can move so FAST!!!
We are based in Wiltshire, and you?

Rojak - Depends what you are looking for. I had a headache with child care centres initially.
My son was 2 when he started part time child care. I looked at quite a few centres. I was after somewhere local to where we lived, though I did look further afield which included an international nursery.

In the end, I finally made my mind up and he went along to a local centre near to us, but within the trial week, where I accompanied him I pulled him out. I was horrified by something his class teachers didn't do. I then went to my second choice of centre, the only thing I was hestitant about was the label 'montessori' to it. However, I just turned up and spoke to the staff and learnt they incorporated bits of montessori rather than everything. So I signed him up to this centre and within a week my son loved the place.. no tears at all when I left him! This centre worked out really well for him. The staff were fantastic, really loving and they had a good set up with the children.
20 mins set for each activity (roughly) so not too short or long enough to get bored with. The children were mainly Singaporean with a number of children from other nationalities too, which is what I was after.
It was very sad when our time to return came up because that centre was very good.
Due to my scare with the first centre I looked at I decided to write an article for the New Mother's Support group on choosing child care. (I am trained in child care, so knowing what to look for and questions to ask, it came as a shock when the trial week revealed to me, no way should my son go here!).

Hope your move goes well!

Hi Rojak, what age is/are your children? A good friend of my who's ds is nearly 2 is moving to Singapore in November. She's Chinese (from China) and her dh is Aussie. I think she's quite looking forward to it as they will be a lot closer to both his and her families. I don't think she's a mnetter, but I might point her in the direction of this thread if you don't mind give feedback about nurseries in Singapore as I know she is keen for her ds to go to a nursery part-time.

As an aside, do you find that there are more Malaysian/Irish marriages than you would expect for two small countries half a world apart? We seem to know loads of Malaysian/Irish couples, more than Malaysian/English or Malaysian/Australian.

Hi Rojak,

Yes, it will be, and my DH is giving me grief because I'm going for an entire month without him :-P I'll be leaving mid November and back a week before Christmas. Have you sorted out accommodation for yourselves? Do you have any relatives/friends in Singapore? Btw, if you're feeling bored in November, maybe can meet up?

Journey2
Indeed! I was at a friend's house earlier, and DS was being his well behaved self, until towards the end when he starting whinging. Turned out that he wanted to go on the floor, whereby he promptly rolled over and tried wriggling away. I think I'd better start being serious about getting fit (or will the running after child moments be enough?!) We're in Essex - Brentwood to be exact. So, what are we supposed to look for when choosing childcare?

Although I'm excited about going to Singapore for a holiday, I'm not sure how wonderful changing facilities are. The last time I checked, they were rather diabolical. I agree about the changes - everytime I go back there seems to be a new building of some description or other! What difficulties are you facing trying to 'integrate' back in the UK?

Bran,
These days, perhaps it's Chinese/Irish or Filipino/Irish? But I know what you mean - I know a Malaysian Chinese chap whom married an Irish woman.

Tootsieroll, I'm in Glasgow and have several Chinese hypermarkets nearby, stocking such delights as fresh durian, mangosteen etc. If you're ever in desperate need of anything that you can't find where you are, give me a shout and I'll post it to you. (Obviously I won't post a durian!)

Journey2 - we've shortlisted a couple of schools / nurseries to look at - my kids are 5 and 2. Ww've decided to base ourselves on the east coast as it's close to DH's office and he will be travelling a fair bit so close to airport. Yes do tell me what it is we should be looking out for! I have some experience of choosing nurseries but this is in a UK setting so not really sure what to expect in Spore. I do want both kids to be exposed to some Mandarin though as we have no second language living in Belfast (ok I'm lazy too )

BTW I've been checking that Expat Spore website out and it's hilarious. The most innocent posts seem to get some posters all riled up!

Tootsieroll - sure would love to meet up in November - we are in serviced accommodation for a month. DH spent today checking it out and also went for a drive around the east coast to have a look at some apartments. He has taken the camera and been able to email me some pics - I love the digital age. He's also been able to skype the kids on the computer!

Bran - I know of 2 other Irish / Malaysian couples here in Belfast (I'm sure there are more but they must all be living outside Ireland!). Actually I just remembered I know one other - an Irish woman living in Malaysia with her Msian DH.

Tootsieroll - isn't your DH Irish too?

I think a lot of it may be to do with the many (MANY) Malaysian students who come to the UK and Ireland to further their studies.

Mrsmuddle,
Hmm, posting a durian - wouldn't that be something?!!

Rojak,
My family lives in the Eastern part of Singapore too, and probably no more than 20min from where you will be. Nice seafood restaurants all along the East Coast There shouldn't be a problem finding schools that teach Mandarin, and you'll probably hear it spoken on the streets wherever you go, I should imagine. My husband's actually British, but grew up in Ireland, so he thinks like an Irishman most of the time