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Multicultural families

Here's where to share your experience of raising a child or growing up in a multicultural family.

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Original poster

circumcision

117 replies

stiggles · 03/03/2008 17:48

I am due in Sept. If it is a boy, me dh wants him circumcised as he is. Through my own nievaity (spelling?) I wasn't too sure if dh had been done or not, so never questioned it up till now when he mentioned it. I obviously didn't pay attention in my biology lessons. DH is Nigerian and he says it is Nigerian tradition for all boys to be circumcised.

I am concerned regarding this for the well being of my son - are there side effects. DH says it is cleaner too to be done. I really don't know what to do. I suppose I married into the nigerian tradition I must accept this happpens (though we had very english wedding!).

where do I get this done etc? I'm not going to bring up to topic again with dh again until we may have to if we have a son

Any advice gratefully appreciated

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MicrowaveOnly · 04/03/2008 19:12

for info..random website of many that comes up on a search...

"Ears are one of the first parts of the body to reach full size. This is why ears that stick out are particularly noticeable in children.

What can be done in tiny babies
In about two-thirds of cases, sticking-out ears are evident at birth, so can be dealt with straight away. The gristle (cartilage) of a newborn baby is soft, so the ears can be corrected by placing a special small splint of cushioned wire in the hollow of the rim of the ear and taping it back for several weeks. This can be done only if the baby is younger than 6 months, and the earlier the better. Parents can buy a kit containing splints with instructions. "

A relevant analogy I think.

TheFallenMadonna · 04/03/2008 19:14

Taping back ears equivalent to surgical removal of foreskin?

FranSanDisco · 04/03/2008 19:15

But how is that British culture?

pruners · 04/03/2008 19:17

Message withdrawn

MicrowaveOnly · 04/03/2008 19:17

TFM I didn't want tocopy big chunks..but it goes on: Children need a general anaesthetic. There are several different techniques. In the most common operation, the surgeon cuts away skin and tissue from behind each ear, and stitches it into its new position. The ears are bandaged for about 10 days after the operation, and after that the stitches are removed. You will have to wear a headband at night for the next 2 weeks so that you do not accidentally bend the ears forward during sleep.

If it was culture to have sticky out ears we wouldn't bother with this procedure..so clearly its culture to NOT have sticky out ears!!!

pruners · 04/03/2008 19:19

Message withdrawn

TheFallenMadonna · 04/03/2008 19:19

That's for older children.

For babies it's wire and tape.

MicrowaveOnly · 04/03/2008 19:20

Am obviously not an expert in sticky out ears I was just trying to show how we can be shocked by procedures that aren't OUR culture, but not by those that are, cos we're used to it, that's all. Maybe the fact that you're not concerned by it proves my point!

hercules1 · 04/03/2008 19:21

I know loads of people with sticky out ears. What a strange thing to talk of as not being part of british culture. Anway, there is loads about British culture that I dislike and dont go along with.

FranSanDisco · 04/03/2008 19:22

Oh I see - yes of course it's culture then It's a cosmetic procedure that is carried out throughout the world not just Britain. I haven't got children requiring such a procedure so have never had to consider it thank god. My son's penis is lovely in it's original form, foreskin, in tact.

pruners · 04/03/2008 19:23

Message withdrawn

hercules1 · 04/03/2008 19:23

Eh? I think there is a huge difference between pinning someones ears as a baby and circumcision.

TheFallenMadonna · 04/03/2008 19:24

I'm not in the slightest concerned with wires and tape.

I would have to think very long and hard about ear pinning for an older child. I'm not sure how I would feel if one of my children were in that position. DS has yoda ears (they fold over a bit at the top), but I shouldn't think there's any surgical procedure for that, and we just grow his hair over them .

suedonim · 04/03/2008 19:25

(Warning, graphic photos) Scarification is still carried out in Africa, though less commonly nowadays. It is also cultural but I cannot imagine anyone defending the practice. My personal opinion is that circumcision is wrong unless medically necessary or desired by the owner of the foreskin. My view is somewhat coloured by the memory of a friend's tiny baby haemorraghing his life-blood profusely into his nappy. Thank god the hospital saved his life, but how much better if the situation had never arisen in the first place.

MicrowaveOnly · 04/03/2008 19:25

hercules, what though? that's my point. They are both done because of what a cultural view of aesthetics, both are invasive surgically and can be doen without the patients consent.

IorekByrnison · 04/03/2008 19:26

I have never known a circumcised man to "wonder what he's missing". I am astonished by all this!

MicrowaveOnly · 04/03/2008 19:26

'life-blood' is that the same as normal unemotive blood

pruners · 04/03/2008 19:27

Message withdrawn

hercules1 · 04/03/2008 19:28

Cultural view of aesthetics?? I fail to grasp how this ear pinning is a culturally accepted thing in Britain and even if it was rampant doesn't change my view on circumcision. Why would it?

pruners · 04/03/2008 19:28

Message withdrawn

pruners · 04/03/2008 19:30

Message withdrawn

suedonim · 04/03/2008 19:37

When there appears to be more blood outside than inside a newborn baby, yes, it's v emotive.

JingleyJen · 04/03/2008 19:49

Microwave, just a quick point, I am english, by culture, by nationality, and DS1 was born with no cartilidge in his left ear and partial cartilidge in his right ear.
on birth he was referred to the plastic surgery unit by the time we say anyone it (7 weeks)was too late to do the splint option (which doesn't involve removing any part of his anatomy)and there was no suggestion by anyone that anything should be done until DS1 was old enough to make the decision himself.
Not cultural to have ears pinned back in babies. Taping doesn't involve removing a part of the childs anatomy.

pooka · 04/03/2008 20:29

JUst to reiterate that a google search will throw up heaps of US (in particular) support sites for men who are angry that they were circumcised for 'cultural" or fashion reasons, just because "everyone" did it. Think they call themselves "intactivists".

Rhubarb · 04/03/2008 20:34

My brother had this done as a baby for medical reasons I think, not too sure though. He was quite proud of it and used it as part of his chat up line, apparently girls wanted to see it once he told them, and he was happy to oblige.

He's had a few women in his life and has now fathered a baby. I don't think it's done him any harm whatsoever.

I'm not sure, with this one, that I have any opinions either way really.

Ear-piercing I don't like because they're just decorations, like the mothers think they're oversized dolls or something. But circumcision is not for decoration, it's a religious thing or a medical thing (can't see ear-piercing ever being done for medical reasons). I don't think it affects their lives at all once they are grown-up. Indeed their penises are likely to be cleaner for it, which is why the Jews have it done is it not?

Try as I might, I really cannot get riled about this one.

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