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Multicultural families

Here's where to share your experience of raising a child or growing up in a multicultural family.

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Original poster

Algerian Husband

13 replies

cryptian42 · 08/09/2013 14:32

I found 2011 thread and I need advice on this topic. I have fallen in love with an Algerian man who I met in Spain (business trip.) He is 34, I am 51 (but look/act 42 - he was shocked!) He is Muslim. We are discussing him moving to UK in January to live with me for a 6 month trial. We are very much in love and he is very gentle and understanding but I know he is uncomfortable that I am not a Muslim, probably can't have children with him, drink a little wine, etc. Do you think we stand a chance of making this happen?

OP posts:

doublemuvver · 11/09/2013 18:10

Good luck! The Muslim religion could be an issue, it depends on th individual. Does he have an EU passport? If not it will be tricky getting him a uk visa. I would make sure you have all the "ground rules" in place. I have been with my Algerian husband for 9 years and it hasn't always been easy. I am not Muslim but don't drink

GoshAnneGorilla · 11/09/2013 18:23

If he hasn't got an EU passport I would be very, very wary about his motives.

It makes me sad to say this, but younger men preying on older women in the hopes of getting a UK passport is far from uncommon.

Also, UK visa laws are extremely strict now with regards to bringing someone over. Unless you are earning a certain amount of money, you won't be allowed to bring him into the country.

rosiedays · 16/09/2013 09:19

Run and run fast. .... I worked in ( Muslim) tourist destination for years and have heard your story 100 times. Unless you have a lot of money you want to throw away put this ' relationship' in your memory box while it's still a happy memory.
I'm married to a ( wonderful) Muslim man and we are both in UK now but it's cost thousands to get him here and we were together for over 5 years before I even considered it.
Good luck!

burberryqueen · 16/09/2013 09:24

I have met and worked with some great Algerian guys but why would a 34 year old man want a 51 year old woman with whom he cannot have children? no offence cos i am pushing 50 myself.
i will tell you why - EU passport

JustBecauseICan · 16/09/2013 09:29

I think the fact that you use the word "husband" in your OP speaks volumes.

He might be in love with you. It might all work out. But if you were both the same age, the same nationality and in the same country, would you still be after moving him in after such a short time?

KristinaM · 16/09/2013 09:30

You said you met him a business trip.does he work in the same business as you? Is his employer moving his job to the uk?othrwise how will he support himself here? Is he fluent in English?

You mention he is Muslim. Is heok with you living together without being married?how does he feel about nt being able to have children ?

How long were you in Spain with him? Where are his family?

Bonsoir · 16/09/2013 09:31

Call his bluff. Tell him that you want to move to Algeria, convert to Islam and take Algerian nationality and renounce your decadent Western lifestyle and see whether he is still keen.

mummycat0 · 16/09/2013 09:42

I would also be wary of his motives tbh. I come from an equally conservative, Muslim North African country and whilst applying for a UK visa to come to the UK, which WAS very hard, I saw lots of young men with older british women applying for marriage visas who couldn't even speak each others' languages. Also, worth mentioning if he's a strict Muslim i.e. would be unhappy for you to have a glass of wine, not convert etc. how come he has nothing against living with a woman for 6 months out of wedlock? This is a major sin in Islam.

I second call his bluff and see how he reacts.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 16/09/2013 09:44

does he have the money to pay his flight, come with a few thousand pounds to help set up here as a family? Will he arrive with a fair amount of money?

Are you sending him cash for his expenses right now?

rosiedays · 16/09/2013 10:55

Op just re-read post.
How long have you know him. .. since 2011??
I think you need to give more info if you want real advice. Many said my relationship would not last. .. 7 mostly happy year's later we're doing great.
Some very relevant questions above.
My dp would not come here until we could get him a visa that meant he could work from day one. He paid for our marriage, visas, flights etc. He earned more than me in his country.
It can work but does normally end in tears (and huge financial loss on your part. )

crescentmoon · 16/09/2013 20:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Luna13 · 15/10/2013 13:34

I can not agree more with rosiedays. I've been married to my Algerian DH for 10 years, have 9 yo DC, no2 on the way. It can work, but I think there are too many things not bothering him enough to care. From what you wrote, he is not thinking about spending the rest of his life with you. Sorry...

BeeMyBaby · 30/10/2013 13:32

I would agree with others, and also encourage you to go to Algeria to meet his family, possibly take a friend or relative you rather than travelling on your own - if he requires a visa this will eventually strengthen your application.

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