Cheong sum

[meganandlucymummy]

Hi to all the chinese mums - I'm caucasian but marrying my chinese malaysian DP this year in the local registry office. I would love to wear an ivory coloured cheong sum. Any ideas how to get one from the uk?

Visiting KL this March but having just had DD2 I'm hoping to be a few dress sizes smaller by then so its no good getting measured this visit. Any ideas or recommendations? Many thanks x

Hi

Not sure where you would get one in the UK but if you live close to London, perhaps try visiting Chinatown and having a browse or there might be tailors who would make one to order?

It would definitely be cheaper getting one made in KL and you could pick your fabric too.

BTW white's considered a colour for mourning in the Chinese custom (although very often used by Chinese brides in western-style dresses).

Hi...I got married in a cheong sam in blue I had it made in Thailand and it cost about £30!!! good luck

crikey at £30 each get a few in various sizes!

I found this link to a website and it's UK based - any use to you?

\link{http://www.chinesedresses.co.uk/front.shtml\Cheong Sams}

Thanks for all your comments. Rojak - should it be a red dress then traditionally? Just interested that's all. Would like to keep the in-laws happy!

Hi MNLmummy

Red is a good colour but really don't recommend you go for a red cheong sam as you may just end up looking like a waitress in a Chinese restaurant

There is a very heavily beaded and embroidered Chinese wedding outfit (don't know what it's called but consists of top and long straight skirt) but may be more difficult to source (even in KL)

Found a couple more links for you

\link{www.lilychoo.com\tailor}

\link{http://www.shanghaitang.com/shanghaitang/index.jsp\Shanghai Tang}

\link{http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art32857.asp\article}

\link{http://www.wedthemes.com/chinese-wedding-theme.shtml\article}

The Shanghai Tang site has some beautiful and very pricey coats but it's definitely good for inspiration.

How traditional are your ILs? I think most M'sians are used to the western-style white dress and in Malaysia, if you were having a Chinese style wedding ie. tea ceremony during the day and massive dinner in the evening, most brides have er.. several change of outfits during the dinner. The outfits are usually hired from the bridal shop and are quite "meringue-like"!

Hi Rojak - IL's extreamly traditional (from Tawau) if you're familiar with Malaysia. Actually they won't be coming to our registration anyway partly because they are too old to travel and partly because I am caucasian. We won't be having the traditional tea ceremony - just a simple registration with chinese lunch in a restaurant afterwards. Guess I was thinking of trying to please them more in the photos. Will probably see what I can do in KL in March then. Thanks for your advice.

at your ILs not wanting to attend because you're caucasian!!! Have they met their grandchild / children? That usually turns them around pronto.

Nice that you're thinking of them in photos though.

Sorry should've said I'm Malaysian too but from peninsular, not Sabah.

They have met our eldest dd1 aged 2 now - we took her when she just turned 1. It did help with relations but of all 11 of their kids only 1 (my dp) has chosen not to marry a chinese. We are taking both kids with us this time our youngest dd2 now 4 mnths. I think part of the problem is that they speak no english at all so I can't judge how warm they are to me. They will now sit at the same dinner table as me where as the first time I went when I was pregnant (and unmarried and caucasian) my MIL could not even do that. Their perception of caucasians was that they do not respect marriage and divorce too much - I think their opinion has changed since knowing me x Where abouts are you from?

Perhaps it was more a marriage thing, because very traditional Asians in general can't get their heads round that. Even my rather progressive parents were unhappy when I chose to live with DH before we got wed.

The world would be incredibly boring if we all married our own though, wouldn't it?

That perception of caucasians you mention unfortunately is a perception that prevails throughout many countries in Asia. I know a lot of caucasian women get wolf whistled ir stared at if they're walking alone on streets in KL (even if they're dressed modestly) whereas a Chinese girl in KL could walk in shorts and cut out vests and receive less harassment.

Partly it's because of the novelty factor (different colour hair / eyes etc) and partly it's because of a particularly ingrained attitude in some Asian men that caucasian women have er.. looser morals (it's utter tosh but unfortunately, it's a perception that exists).

Then again, as a Chinese woman, I have to deal with the perception (predominantly in the West) that we are submissive and er.. "know how to look after a man"

I'm from Ipoh, which is between Penang and KL.

Good to hear your thoughts Rojak. Thanks x