Thanks Jaabaar. You sound so similar to us. We worried and worried before having our first child ,and when we did get pg I was so worried about finances and how we support ourselves. We waited to have a 2nd as well, concerned as it meant I would have to leave my job and find something else with less hours that would fit around dp's as we couldnt afford childcare x2.
I have to say though, now we are having a third I have worried less about this one. I think I got to the point where I just thought 'who knows what the future holds and I cant keep putting off completing my family just incase such and such happens. So what if dp loses his job and we lose our house, and the council have to rehome us (something I think they wouldnt actually do now that Ive had to deal with them) - at least we will all be together and healthy. People are in lots worse situations than that.
I lost my mum at christmas , and found out that my friend had cancer and also couldnt have more children and so i think comapred to those things the above situation was nothing.
However , dp lost his job , it was really scary, and when I wrote the orignal postI had just been dealing with the jc and BA and was so upset with how little support there was for people in our situation. It really does feel like the government dont give a stuff about the people who have tried to look after themselves, buy themselves a home, provide for their own kids. We are put to the back of the queue. The most unbelievable thing I heard recently was soemone we know got £250 from the government for getting a job!!! Well done - we'll support you when you dont have a job, and pay for your 6 kids, and then get a job and you get paid from both your employer and us. Will my dp get that when he goes back to work? No because he wouldnt have been on benfits long enough!! What a joke!!
I wasnt taring EVERYONE on benefits with the same brush, but like I said Im not blind. I know individual people out there who when there child gets to school age they think ooh I best have another, to get more money , otherwise I might have to go to work, and they dont actually want those kids, they dont play with them , or take them to the park or spend thime with them. They just shout and swear at them.
Jaabaar, I would think about your situation again. Its not fair that you cant complete your family, it really isnt. You may find it might be nmore affordable when your dc1 goes to school? I hope you can find a way to work it out. Thanks for your kind words.
Anyway some good news is that dp has temp work!! Yipee!!! very badly paid, but still better than £64 a week js allowance!! Im so please we are out of the benfits system - for now anyway.
Had to contact jc to inform them.....what a nightmare.... but thats another story!!!