Before I start I am not hinting for foodparcels, loans or any charity as I am a proud woman but I think my family is about to go under. I can't take much more and have been crying with stress for an hour now.

[twinsetandpearls]

As you know we have just moved and coud not sel our house.

We made plans to move before the credit crunch and we were desperate to move.

We agreed to rent the house to my sister and her friend for just under the mortgage, as they agreed to move out if we got a sale and we knew the house would stay nice for any viewings.

a fortnight after siging agreements the other tenant buggered off owing us lots of money ( and my family) My sister could not afford the full rent ( which was subsidised by us so we agreed that she could pay her third ( her house mate had a son so they used two rooms and she used one) This meant we were subisidising her by almost £500 a month. She knew we coud not sustain this and oromised to look for a flatmate, she has not and four months later we are £500 a month down. Our savings have gone on a deposit for our rental house down here and moving costs. We are now sinking.

We should take this girl to court for the money she owes us but we don;t have the momney to pay for a solicitor.

Then to top it all I have had some money taken from my bank and the bank are investigating but seem to be dragging their feet. I have given them a crime number which will speed it up, hopefully.

To top it all our car died and we needed to replace it as once a month my dp has to go back up to Lancashire. So spent his money just before my bank was drained.

Dp gets paid on Friday and until then we have no money. We just about have food. A friend drives me into work and I owe her petrol money, she is now skint so we may not even be able to get into work from Wednesday. We are now one month behind with the council tax as well. My anti depressants ran out last week and I can't afford my new prescription which is probably making things feel much worse than they are.

We are going to have to completely cancel Christmas this year, we were going to visit family and now dd is heartbroken as she can't see her dad, extended family or the friends she left behind over Christmas.

I have phoned the estate agents who are selling the house and they will rent it out but they have said because the rental market is saturated the rent will not cover the mortgage. But we will be subsidising at £100 rather than £500 a month. I know this is going to cause a huge family row when I have to ask my sister to leave the house and I am dreading it.

I know everyone is going to pile in and say you shouldn;t have moved but when we made plans the credit crunch was not big news so we thought, and so did the estate agent ( although they would say that that we would sell). When it became clear that we could not sell I even tried staying in my old job but as my school wa bankrupt they would not give me my job back once my notice had gone in.

I don't even know why I am posting this, I guess I just need to offload.

What about home tutoring?
Sorry if that's already been suggested... only skimmed the posts.

I'm shocked that someone working as an academic can suggest deliberately helping people to cheat as a way to make money.

Also it's a bit stupid to suggest something like that on a public forum, in the universities I've worked in/am working in you could lose your job if you were spotted making such suggestions.

I was involved in judging a charge of plagiarism for an academic who had plagiarised by accident, and still he nearly lost his phd and job because of it.

ps TSAP I do hope you manage to sort something out.

school exam marking? mystery shopping?

im so sorry to hear of all this worry for your family,could i ust say that my mil is also in a terrible state since her husband died,shes was left with a 900.00 a month mortgage and has had her house on the market for the past yr as she needs to downsize to pay off whats left on her mortgage as shes just turned 60 and her money has run out.she had spoke to her mortgage company and they have agreed that until the house is sold she can just pay interest which i think is around 250.00 a month,her mortgage balance will remain the same but has obviously eased the pressure of her getting into huge debt.i havent read all posts but wondered if this was an option for you too.i just feel so helpless :O( x

Fennel, to be fair, I have 100% backtracked publicly and humbly on that. I originally said it in the context that these essays were officially meant to be used as exemplars, and Twinset was desperate to save her house.

However you are right, the proportion of essays being abused in this way is very high, and it was a totally daft and unprofessional suggestion , I feel guilty, I was daft, I am currently flagellating myself like someone out of the Da Vinci Code, and would appreciate being forgiven by the rest of the thread now in true MN spirit.

My current position: essay mills are evil, do not take candy from these people.

Fivegomad I don;t see much of the drama department as I am down in the village. There is a new head of drama now as well, am not sure if he replaced her.

I will look into teaching OU as I think I would enjoy it as well.

lol Boffin you were just trying to help!

xx
Are you feeling better today btw?

Goodness me, Twinset, what a crappy time you are having.

Chin up lovely. It WILL get better.

I am feeling a bit better about things generally, I am getting some grief from family about the house but we will get through this, just need to tackle it step by step.

I am glad you have perked up a bit. My dad always says a sign of how strong people are is not whether they get sad or not, it's how quickly they rebound. I am taking this as a hopeful sign that you are managing to cope.

BTW I had another thought about the extra curricular stuff. Could dd help out a bit at local stables in return for free riding? That's how I did it as a kid and it was really good fun too.

She has subsidised lessons already, the stables run cheaper lessons for kids from her primary school. But that is a good idea, I am waiting for her to ask for a horse in a few years and she will need to borrow a horse in return for working in the stables

It is hard and scary, but dp and I have both have to wade through shit to get where we are and we need to remember that. This is just a little setback that is making us stronger as a couple

glad to hear that twinset.
off to bed now - night night and sweet dreams. xx

Strange how these things seem to be able to make or break a couple. Dh and I are now alot closer too.

Glad to see you're sounding more positive already.

You poor thing.

Your sister is getting a 3-bed house all to herself very much under the normal rent. No wonder she's not found another tenant. Find one for her. Anyone! If she doesn't like it and moans about it well hey, she can pay the full wack or, if there are any other family members sympathetic to her 'plight', then they can subsidise her. Your family are suffering. She is sitting pretty. Conscience excision is overdue in the twinset house.

I was told today that my sister had been to try and get housing benefit so she could afford the rent ( I had not supported her in this imo I think it would be wrong for the tax payer to support her living in my house). She has been told she could not get help but seemed to come away with the impressions she would get help if she had a baby. So my mum told me that if my sister ended up pregnant and single it was because we had pushed her into it.

Your sis is a grown woman I presume - therefore nobody is pushing her into anything.

Ignore, ignore and ignore some more.

I know sb

oh ffs. not only does your sis need to grow up so does your mum! what a ridiculous thing to say. have you written down some basic sums for your sis and mum? would it help to email them with the bottom line financial reasons for what you are doing? is it possible that they just don;t get it? they think "oh tsap owns this house and isn't living in it so what's the issue with sis living there?" perhaps if you put it in writing it would sink in? ie a really basic list: net monthly earnings; mortgage on Blackpool house; rent on Dorset house; total of bills and other costs; concluding with what you need in rent from the Blackpool house. On the one hand you shouldn;t have to justify yourself like this. But on the other hand they seem to need it spelling out to them. I don;t know if it's a good idea or not and it's a horrible sacrifice of your privacy but in your shoes I'd be so infuriated by their attitude I would be tempted to put the irrefutable facts before them in black and white.

glad you got your ads sorted. and keep the positive thinking at the forefront.

Crikey twinset - how old is your sister? - she is acting like a 14 year old! And your mother is not much better!

Agree with hatwoman. Spell it out to them.

Glad you are feeling better about things.

OMG, they are being ridiculous. Where did you get your common sense from?

Dp has seen the bank today and we have rejuggled some things which has freed up some money. I think to be honest my mum just sees that dp and i earn above average wages and certainly more than she has ever done. She thinks we should be comfortable which we were before this mess. My sister is 21

Aah. 21. And a young 21 by the sounds of it.

I do think you need to spell out to both your mother and sister exactly what this has all cost you.