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Original poster

I'm dying to grass up the benefit cheats living next to me but..

301 replies

ssd · 20/09/2008 20:47

..dh won't let me as they have 3 kids and he feels its unfair on the kids

they are the laziest young couple I've ever met, she told me she can't afford to work as she is getting so much paid for her by claiming to be a single mum, but her partner (kids dad) work on the side so they have that money coming in too

they seem to spend all their money on takeaway deliveries, about 3 a week, but sod all on their kids who come chapping my door every day trying to get in to play with our toys, and probably for a feed as they get their takeaways about half nine at night

we both work here, I'm part time on minimum wage and she actually told me what she "clears" a month and with income support, job seekers and rent paid she's better off than us bith working

I'm heartily sick of seeing them swanning about, she always seems to have new clothes and their car is much better than ours, her mu mtakes the kids at weekends so they can go out and party, she told me they can afford to go out every Sat and they lie in bed all Sunday till the kids are delivered back to them

I'm so bitter, I'm sick of the injustice

should I go ahead and tell social services and let dh go mad or just let them live their dishonest life and shut up? I really don't know what to do

OP posts:
FAQ · 20/09/2008 23:34

sorry but if someone is working cash in hand there will be no links to the IR......

platypussy · 20/09/2008 23:40

Katiedd I couldnt give a monkeys if the mother got stressed out if she was reported. Most working people with children are already stressed out but dont use that as an excuse to give the kids a few extra clips round the ear.

KatieDD · 20/09/2008 23:44

Where does it say he works cash in hand, it says on the side, people like that always slip up and the IR are very clever, writing to him at her address to say he's entitled to a refund etc etc.
I can only speak as I find and that has been my experience of these situations, the children are never "better" off as a result so I wouldn't want to be the one who lit the touch paper.

chapstickchick · 20/09/2008 23:46

having said that that wont make then turn into decent hardworking people overnight."

I guess there's no point in spending all the money that's spent sending career criminals to jail then - as going to jail doesn't turn them into decent hard working people overnight.

Infact why not just scrap the whole criminal system in the country - as it obviously doesn't work given the number of people that offend, then reoffend........

well to be fair if the system worked as it should then there would be no way to fraudulently claim benefits similarly we wouldnt have petty thieves going to prison and coming out all clued up and becoming hardened criminals - the whole situation is just the very tip of a huge iceberg and im not for a minute suggesting its right,but im not convinced that the ops original question as to wether she should shop them is a yes answer.......

it infuriates me too but theres little i can do other than report it and then theres a possibility that they could work out its me so i choose not to get involved.

FAQ · 20/09/2008 23:48

but you're still avoiding my question about if she were committing another crime that would involve an investigation and "stress" for her.....

handlemecarefully · 20/09/2008 23:50

I don't know what planet you are on ssd, but my friend is a single mum on benefits and she is on the breadline. All this benefit scrounger and living in lap of luxury sounds like total mythology to me

FAQ · 20/09/2008 23:51

hmc - if you read the post she claims as a single mother, but has her DP living with her, and working.........

KatieDD · 20/09/2008 23:54

I wouldn't grass anyone up for anything in all honestly, it's none of my business, the police are paid good money to solve crime, I abide by the law and mind my own business.

FAQ · 20/09/2008 23:55

and we wonder why this country is going down hill so much.........

FAQ · 20/09/2008 23:56

hang on - are you the same person that thinks that someone with depression is perfectly capable of going out to work (apologies if you're not)

KatieDD · 20/09/2008 23:57

Yeah and they are. It's part of their treatment to maintain a normal routine in a lot of cases.

FAQ · 21/09/2008 00:01

aha

PersephoneSnape · 21/09/2008 00:01

these cases generally result in being bound over for a year - 18 months and approx 150 hours community service, plus having to pay back the amount claimed. No-one goes to prison and the guilty parties have to actually do some reparation in the community.

expatinscotland · 21/09/2008 00:05

so someone who is ill with PND should go back to work asap as 'treatment', but benefits cheats should be allowed to keep scamming the taxpayer.

m'kay.

Original poster
ssd · 21/09/2008 08:10

thanks for all these answers

TBH I'm still struggling with this one

Obviously no one heqr will know this family, but trust me, the mum won't get stressed out if she was grassed up, she'd turn to her other "single mum" pals that she knows who are also playing the system for advice and she'd wriggle out of it somehow

What gets me is, how come the benefits people don't twig that this "single mum" keeps having kids? don't they wonder if there is a dad about?

I agree with all the posters who say these types give real single mums struggling to get by a very bad name. I've been on benefits too and its very hard, nothing like my neighbours life at all.

And to everyone who says I soound jealous, how the hell am I meant to feel when my dh works shifts full time and I work part time for £5.52 an hour round his shifts, just to bring in some money so we can maybe get the (very!) odd takeaway, and every early morning I leave for work, when I get back her curtains are still drawn as she's having another lie in till lunchtime as she doesn't (can't afford!) to work. yes you could say I'm jealous, bloody mad would be more like it.

OP posts:
Original poster
ssd · 21/09/2008 08:14

Katie, I'm astounded

are you saying someone with depression should be able to and should go out to work, but someone claiming illegal benefits and ripping us all off shouldn't get reported incase they get stressed?

comeon, you must be joking, surely I'm reading this wrong?

OP posts:
SquiffyHock · 21/09/2008 08:18

"I abide by the law and mind my own business."

Sounds honorable but what happened to social responsibility?? It makes me so cross when people say that it's only up to the authorities to sort out criminals etc.

lilacclaire · 21/09/2008 08:22

Very difficult decision, can see why you are totally peed off.
Its totally your decision, but remember that you are doing better for your kids than she is, you are setting an example of hard working parents which will stay with them forever.
She may be better off financially, but I pity her poor kids.

Original poster
ssd · 21/09/2008 08:27

yes, thats what I keep telling myself, our kids know its normal to go out to work to earn money, even if its not a job you love, you still have to work

I can see her kids being layabout cheats like her when they grow up, they a;ready show signs of learning how to lie and deceive people to get what they want.

"sleekit" we call it in Scotland

OP posts:
clam · 21/09/2008 08:36

There are clearly many people who would shop them, and I s'pose I think that they should be reported if they are committing fraud. But, being a bit of a coward, I'm not sure I'd be able to do it myself, especially if it was going to cause a big problem with my DH. However, you could get round it by ensuring that you let slip the situation to others, particularly if they're the types who'd be happy to pick up the phone.....

FAQ · 21/09/2008 08:37

ssd - perhaps they don't "twig" because all it takes is to get babysitter for the night/off load on your family, go out and get laid - and fall pg - sadly doesn't mean there's a father on the scene, or indeed if they even know who the father is.

dilemma456 · 21/09/2008 08:40

Message withdrawn

findtheriver · 21/09/2008 08:55

Shop them. It sounds like they're committing fraud. What is the point of having a system for justice if people don't use it?

The concern about there being young children is unfounded - it's pretty clear that the extra money they are claiming fraudulently is not being used for the benefit of the kids anyway, if they're not fed until 9.30, not given wholesome meals and dumped at weekends so the parents can go and party. So why would living legitimately on a wage put them in a worse position?

Quite frankly anyone who cheats the system deserves what they get. There are enough threads on here from genuine claimants who manage to get by,it may not be easy, but they adjust their expectations and get on with making a decent life for their kids. And there are also plenty of threads from hrad working tax payers who struggle to pay their bills and no way could afford takeaways, nights out, nice car etc.

This is NOT about envy and anyone who tries to use that old chestnut is missing the point. It's about greedy selfish people who think they have a right to be like that at other people's expense.

findtheriver · 21/09/2008 08:56

P.S. Would just add that if by any chance these people are NOT committing an offence then they have nothing to fear do they?

conniedescending · 21/09/2008 09:06

I think so called benefit cheats are a symptom of the whole benefit system - give that an overhaul and these sort of cases will become obselete.

A system where it's supposedly fincially better to not work than work can never ever ever do what it was supposed to do. That being said I'm not altogether sure it bears up in lots of cases - even taking into account minimum wage jobs.

Incapacity benefit is a huge drain with most of the claimants being diagnosed with anxiety/ depression. Work and exercise are the 2 best factors in being resilient to depression so not sure how signing people off forever will help with that.

As for the OP - I can see your point in wanting to grass them up. It must be soul destroying really.....but you should challenge your energy into bettering your own family - if you and your dh are working you should look at potential for promotion, moving to senior posts etc etc