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Mixed feelings about being a single adult household

5 replies

Alwayschillyatnight · 13/08/2026 18:38

I have a decent job. It pays well enough to cover my bills but I still qualify for child benefit. Ive been looking at how to manage my finances better, looking at putting more into a pension since ex husband kept all his.

Keep reading threads where people are talking about how they divvy up family expenses. I have two strong feelings - one of immense jealousy at dual income households and the fact they can share chores, expenses, fund help and holidays... but then there's a big chunk of me that's proud im doing it alone. Proud I can say I support my children on my own. Proud that I do my own DIY and all the housework and most of the childcare.

Im proud of it. But im also exhausted and sad and jealous.

And this may not be the right place but I needed to get it off my chest

OP posts:
SaraHoliday · 13/08/2026 18:40

You sound like Super Woman to me! x

ProfessorofDarkArts · 13/08/2026 18:43

I’m in a similar boat although no kids at home now. I veer between being proud of my independence and wishing everything wasn’t geared up for a two salary household.

DeedlessIndeed · 13/08/2026 18:50

You should be proud. It is way harder without two incomes.

Thinking about long term planning is really important but it is really easy to put off. You are getting it sorted.

Emmylou22 · 13/08/2026 18:53

You should be proud! Same here. I sometimes feel envious of friends in two-income households. But then I remember the price of that is having to share your life, personal space, all decisions with another person. Yuk 🤣

Alwayschillyatnight · 13/08/2026 19:18

It felt easier when things ended with my ex husband. Being with him felt like more of a weight than a partnership. Losing my more recent relationship was a lot harder. He was a support in so many ways, But I do enjoy the little freedoms of being the sole adult, too. Swings and roundabouts.

My mum told me how proud she was of me last week. How she didnt know how I do it all and she didnt think she could. She's got my kids for a few days this week while I recover from a bug and she phoned today and said she totally understood why I was so tired. They may be 12 and 15, but they're both AudHD and getting them to do anything is such a fucking battle. 7 reminders just to brush teeth

Sigh.

Hats off to all single parents. It's a hard slog.

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