How do i rebalance finances after a big promotion when our marriage has always been financially equal?

[pilii]

My husband and I have been married for 17 years. Our incomes have always been roughly equal and grew at the same pace the whole time so we've just done a simple 50/50 split on everything and never had to think about it. We both are in mid 40s, Also we both earns ok 6 digits

That's about to change. I got a promotion starting this September, and I'll be earning about double what he makes. We have 3 kids together, and I'm trying to figure out how to fairly restructure things now that our incomes are so lopsided

A few things I'm stuck on
Shared bills/mortgage stick with 50/50, or switch to proportional (I'd cover ~2/3)?

Savings/investing should contributions to joint savings also scale with income, or stay equal?

Personal allowance should our individual "fun money" also be proportional, or does it make more sense to keep that equal so neither of us feels like the higher earner gets to spend more freely?

Kids' expenses (school, activities, etc.) proportional like the rest, or split evenly since they're both our kids regardless of who earns what? They are all teenagers

We've never had to navigate an income gap before, so this is genuinely new territory for us after 17 years of things being simple. Anyone been through a similar shift especially later in a marriage rather than starting out unequal What worked and what caused friction

If you have your money arranged correctly, he wouldn’t be able to

We have one pot and I out earn my DH. I couldn’t care less

I don't think she'll even have £60k of allowance any more will she? I think she's above the threshold where you lose the allowance. (One of my pet tax system hates, and I am in no way anti-tax.)

you don’t have all your money in joint accounts to have joint money. We have 1 joint account for general day to day stuff but the rest is scattered across accounts in both our names. We both have access to the balances of all the accounts and regularly discuss maximising interest and tax efficiency.

Gor the last 36 years we have had an account where both our wages go in. Over the years he has earned more than me, other times I've earned more, then I've been on mat leave and so on. However none of it matters in regard to who puts what in. Once the money is there and bills, savings and investments have been sorted its a free for all eith the money!

You are supposed to be a unit do it doesnt seem fair to move the goal posts just because you've got a great promotion.
Congratulations btw on that promotion!

In a good marriage everything is pooled and why would you not be financially independent unless your not good with finances. My dh can pop off buy a car and me a horse book a holiday from the joint account if it's there. The most that will be said is I'm thinking of doing and that's it..Bill money is transferred for all direct debits once a month and our pensions and we do very well this way despite not earning anywhere near the amounts here lol..It's all trust and love and good communication

You're right, it's 40k at 300k salary - a pensions adviser would get it right! But her previous 2 years would have been at the 60k but again, a pensions adviser would be the one to make sure it was all being used

What stuff does she pay for that SHE doesn’t have time to do?

Care of the garden, which is hers and hers alone (apart from my mowing the grass.)

I have my own bank account. But our money is pooled.

I would keep everything 50/50 but put your excess into investments after seeking advice about how best to grow family wealth.
It is the perfect time to review finances.

Extra house, savings for kids, pensions etc spread between yourself and DH.
You know and trust DH, I assume.