Would I be wrong to report my mother over Attendance Allowance?

[Tallularx4]

Id really like some advice about my mother. I’ve come to this forum because my daughter is a member and after having her little boy, my grandson she found it invaluable.

My mother was awarded Attendance Allowance 5 years ago whilst my Dad was alive. He had Vascular Dementia and was blind. He needed a lot of care and help and was very deserving of this money. My mother played on being unwell and incapable of doing things and was awarded it too.

fast forward 5 years and she’s still getting it. Myself and my 2 siblings have told her that she doesn’t qualify for this benefit and would be in trouble if the DWP discovered it. She’s mobile, can wash and cook for herself and lives in a retirement home where she’s out at the pub with friends frequently.

The allowance is almost £500 a month, my mother is almost 85 and I’m almost 60. The fact she openly tells people she gets it when she’s probably the fittest there does annoy me.
My siblings and I have never had a good relationship with my mother after a very bad childhood with her. She shows no love to us or Empathy and it’s almost impossible to listen to her at times.
my siblings want to report her for fraud. She has my Dad’s pension which is very good and her state pension and now the AA and brings in £2,145 a month.

Would I be that awful daughter for reporting or should I just forget about it and let her live with the money. It’s eating away at the me with the pressure from my siblings and the constant reminders from her she is now ‘rich’
I don’t need to be told I’m awful for thinking like this, I already know I just want some solid advice.
Thank you so much 😕

If she's been awarded attendance allowance then the decision has been made that she qualifies for it. Its a complicated form. The only thing she'd be doing wrong is if she was still claiming for your dad.
Edit to add that she is responsible for reporting any change of circumstances which may lead to a claim being cancelled, but that change is normally only if an improvement of the original conditions has occurred. The claim can be reviewed at which point her evidence would also be fully reviewed

I don't know what you mean by wanting advice?
Surely its up to your siblings whether they report her or not.?
Your mum may then be interviewed under caution.

Unlikely that she is still claiming your dad's allowance, that would be stopped when his death was reported.

Come on now - she’s 85 - she’s not really as fit as you claim. It’s perfectly valid to use attendance allowance to pay for cleaner, home hairdresser, home adaptations and equipment, incontinence products, ready-made meals, etc. Just because she’s maintaining an admirably independent and cheerful outlook, doesn’t mean she doesn’t have needs.

Exactly. A functional old age is very expensive and quality of life is a blessing.

Assuming the attendance allowance was awarded to her and not your father she is doing nothing wrong.

Earn your own money and leave your mum alone

#Don't do that to your mum.

Why the hell would you report your own mother?

I’m confused, if the DWP have awarded her the benefit, why would she be in trouble if they discover she’s getting it? Surely they know she’s getting it?

Because she’s not told them she’s improved, which is fraud.

@Tallularx4 are you saying she lied on the original form?

And do you actually have a good enough relationship with her that she would tell you if she used that money for things like incontinence products?

and do you actually understand what it's for? There are sections on there about needing transportation for leisure activities for example. My mum is not that mobile, she can wobble around with a stick if a taxi drops her outside the pub and generally she needs her friends to be with her to get her in and out of the taxi.

But one of the reasons for the money is to enable her to have a normal social life or to go to a place of worship for example if it wasn't the pub (which she rarely does because it's too difficult for her to get out).

from what you said of both your mother and the form, I'm wondering how much knowledge you have of both.

If your siblings want to report her why don't they just do it? I'd stay out of it and let them crack on. It won't come to anything.

I’ve not met many 84 year olds that don’t qualify for it!

Plus they can claim it for care needs even if not receiving the care.

Doesn’t sound like the ops mother qualifies from what she’s posted. Love how disabled people get bashed but when the pensioners do it and do it fraudulently it’s excused.

EmeraldRoulette
I have a very good understanding of AA as I went through all of the forms when my Dad was first diagnosed. My mum was aware then she wasn’t entitled to it during the time we looked through it. However, a DWP worker came to their house and filled out forms for both of them, whete my mother stated she wasn’t able to dress herself with help, walk very far and needed help to cook. All are untrue. I wasn’t at this meeting. My mother tells me everything, things I’d rather not know at times.

I don’t won’t to be condemning for my thoughts just advice. I currently have stage 3 bowel cancer and 44 years my mother has done nothing for me.

My siblings and I have never had a good relationship with my mother after a very bad childhood with her. She shows no love to us or Empathy and it’s almost impossible to listen to her at times.

This seems to be your motivation, not the fraud?

My mum gets AA and can wash and feed herself?! She's been on it for years, she's in her 80s and is certainly no 'fraudster'.

I don't think you necessarily understand the minutiae of which claim is or isn't legit. Surely her health has actually got worse since she started claiming?

But if she lives in an actual care home then I don't know if she can still claim or not.

You sound like you're not very fond of your elderly mum?

Does she get carers or help from anywhere like cleaners meals etc? My dad qualified for attendance allowance with his COPD he was still active he used it to pay for his car while he could still drive then his cleaners and transport when he got unwell

She’s 84. If she gets out of breath putting her socks on she’ll pretty much qualify for AA.

You all need therapy if you’re genuinely considering reporting your mid 80s mum to the dole because you don’t have a good relationship with her and don’t believe she’s entitled to it.

frankly even if she did need help I’d doubt she’d ask any of her dirty snake in the grass children for it if this is how you all treat her.

I don’t won’t to be condemning for my thoughts just advice. I currently have stage 3 bowel cancer and 44 years my mother has done nothing for me

Sorry to hear you are ill. Reporting your mum is not going to make your life any better. Concentrate on yourself and forget about the AA business.

These benefits are often reviewed from time to time. At that point the DWP would send her a form to fill in and review the medical and other evidence of her care needs. When people get into their late 70s and 80s the review is often just a formality because people of that age do not usually improve. I have a relative on legacy PIP following a stroke which left him with mobility issues. He was reviewed after 5 years but has now been told he will not be reviewed again because at his age. (70s) he is not expected to improve.

As others have stated these benefits are to enable people to live as normal and independent a life as possible. People are entitled to go out and socialise - they are not prisoners. However many in this age group are no longer able to drive so the money covers taxis for essential medical appointments (as well as other helpers) food delivery and necessary supplies..

I mean your dads pension can’t be very good if she’s on 2,144 and 500 is the AA and £1000 is her state pension… she’s only getting £600.

She’s hardly rich on the equivalent of a post tax £32k income.

I’m sorry to hear about your cancer. Reporting her won’t make her suddenly be the mum you want her to be, and I doubt it will actually make you feel better.