Page 4 | Friends on weight loss drugs no longer want to split the bill... hmm

CornflakeMum · 2026-02-16T18:27:09+00:00

Just want a bit of a rant really... I know the answer will just be I just have to 'suck it up' etc but... For many years I've been the friend in the group who doesn't drink much (I tend to drive due to where I live) and I've never had a big appetite, so often just have a soft drink or water and a single main course or salad. Over many years I've avoided causing a fuss and just tacitly accepted that I'll be subsidising the meals of my friends who happily tucked into three courses and cocktails/wine and then cheerily announced 'let's just keep it simple and split the bill, eh?' Two of the big eaters are now on WLIs and when we met recently they announced that they'd be getting separate bills, as ^obviously ^they won't be eating very much! Anyone else had this?

Gall10 · 17/02/2026 14:22

TFImBackIn · 17/02/2026 14:18

So much hatred in one post.

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? You don’t like the term fatty jabs

TFImBackIn · 17/02/2026 14:33

Re-read what you wrote. You suggest we should comfort ourselves with the thought that women who are so desperate to lose weight they will pay hundreds of pounds to do so, will shortly regain their weight and more. That's a really horrible thing to say.

borntooobewild · 17/02/2026 14:37

TFImBackIn · 17/02/2026 14:33

Re-read what you wrote. You suggest we should comfort ourselves with the thought that women who are so desperate to lose weight they will pay hundreds of pounds to do so, will shortly regain their weight and more. That's a really horrible thing to say.

Yes agree .

allthingsinmoderation · 17/02/2026 15:23

I understand why you feel aggrieved, but you did accept equal bill split when it didn't benefit you and they accepted that arrangement ,now they don't want to split the bill equally because it doesn't benefit them.
This does tell you something about the charachter of these people.
They know what they are doing ....happy for you to be disadvantaged if youll tolerate that but dont want to be disadvantaged themselves.
I would have said OK,i wish you'd said that previously ..........

KatsPJs · 17/02/2026 15:30

Buffypaws · 17/02/2026 05:45

I always think it’s incredibly rude for people who have consumed more to suggest splitting evenly. In my circles there is usually acknowledgment of anyone who doesn’t drink or have pudding and splitting is only where everyone has had more or less the same amount. You were mugged off before but these people are now cognisant that they are spending £300 a month to be able to eat less. As others say, make sure you never go back.

I agree, and I’m usually the big eater. I pretty much always get three courses, have cocktails and will order dishes like steak etc., so I always say I will pay more because I’ve consumed more. It’s not up to me to decide how much other people spend on their meals and I’m not prepared to undereat and not enjoy myself. The selfishness of people to think they should be subsidised by their friends is astounding.

rockinrobins · 17/02/2026 15:55

NiftyBlueRobin · 17/02/2026 11:22

It's not mercenary to notice/acknowledge that these friends are changing the established social etiquette of group meals to suit them, without regard for heir own past behaviour. I think most people would be put out by this sort of behaviour because it implies a lack of consideration for others and is hypocritical.

Being a bit upset by this doesn't mean OP dislikes her friends, that's a big leap. Friendship doesn't mean never having any emotions other than positive ones, you're allowed to be upset with your loved ones sometimes.

OP I'd be annoyed by this too and I think you'd be perfectly reasonable to point out to your friends that you've subsidised their meals/drinking for years without complaint so you're surprised that they're now changing the goal posts. Many of us struggle to speak up when we're uncomfortable especially if you're more introverted, so don't beat yourself up for going along with the subsidising but do find a way to speak up for yourself going forwards when your friends are being unfair. Sometimes people are completely oblivious to unfairness so there's a good chance your friends just haven't connected the dots here.

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In a group of friends who actually like/ care for each other I would assume that people would feel comfortable speaking up about a basic thing like this, especially over a period of years.

I'd understand if it was work colleagues or something, but these are friends of years.

I can't believe you would just sit there with your "friends" year after year resenting something and not say. And then be annoyed at them when they don't do the same. All this weird unspoken drama and expectations - there is every chance her friends simply aren't picking up on it.

OP's behaviour/ expectations of how her friends should behave is weird. She needs to vocalise and advocate for herself if she is this bothered.

Instructions · 17/02/2026 15:58

Gall10 · 17/02/2026 14:10

Comfort yourself on the fact that the two on the fatty jabs might have lost weight but they’ll put it all back on … and more… when they stop! Maybe they don’t want to pay much as the fatty jabs is taking most of their disposable income every month!

You sound so bitter and odd 😂

BlackCat14 · 17/02/2026 16:14

Reading all this makes me so glad me and my group never bill split. Some drink, some don’t, some want the most expensive steak, some want the cheapest salad, some have three courses, some have one.
Usually one of us pays the bill on the night, then takes a photo of the bill and puts it on our WhatsApp group and we all transfer money. Saves faffing about at the table all trying to work out who owes what.

Harrietsaunt · 17/02/2026 16:25

YABU

You had the opportunity to pay fairly and chose not to.

Pinkgoose4 · 17/02/2026 16:26

The people with big appetites know exactly what they are doing..taking advantage of others who eat less ,but making sure they pay equally each , knowing full well their food is being subsided by those who ate less
Greedy fuckers
You really should of stuck up for yourself op
But now it looks like paying your bill will become the new normal
Which is good for you

Original poster

CornflakeMum · 17/02/2026 17:10

rockinrobins · 17/02/2026 15:55

In a group of friends who actually like/ care for each other I would assume that people would feel comfortable speaking up about a basic thing like this, especially over a period of years.

I'd understand if it was work colleagues or something, but these are friends of years.

I can't believe you would just sit there with your "friends" year after year resenting something and not say. And then be annoyed at them when they don't do the same. All this weird unspoken drama and expectations - there is every chance her friends simply aren't picking up on it.

OP's behaviour/ expectations of how her friends should behave is weird. She needs to vocalise and advocate for herself if she is this bothered.

Edited

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As I've already explained, this isn't something that happens in my smaller groups of friends - just more occasionally when it's larger groups (sometimes including people who aren't my friends).

Probably hasn't happened so frequently to bother me to the extent that I was going to go against the grain and make a fuss. As we've seen from comments here, some people consider such friends to be petty, tight and 'difficult'.

My observation was more that adding in the WLI dimension was an interesting one. It's as if someone saying 'I haven't eaten much' is a less valid reason that 'I'm on WLI and CAN'T eat much'? Somehow different 'rules' seem to apply, and I wondered if this was playing out elsewhere too?

Anyway, separate bills all the way from now on, woohoo! 🎉

OP posts:

Frenchfrychic · 17/02/2026 17:14

CornflakeMum · 17/02/2026 17:10

As I've already explained, this isn't something that happens in my smaller groups of friends - just more occasionally when it's larger groups (sometimes including people who aren't my friends).

Probably hasn't happened so frequently to bother me to the extent that I was going to go against the grain and make a fuss. As we've seen from comments here, some people consider such friends to be petty, tight and 'difficult'.

My observation was more that adding in the WLI dimension was an interesting one. It's as if someone saying 'I haven't eaten much' is a less valid reason that 'I'm on WLI and CAN'T eat much'? Somehow different 'rules' seem to apply, and I wondered if this was playing out elsewhere too?

Anyway, separate bills all the way from now on, woohoo! 🎉

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What a ridiculous notion. I am on them, I split the bill, your “friends” are not the rule, assuming they even exist.

mondaytosunday · 17/02/2026 17:18

Well your fault for not saying the same yourself and having friends who don’t recognise that you order less. For some reason I’m always given the bill to work out and it doesn’t take much to say Mary you owe X Susan you owe Y. And Miranda always pays more as she drinks twice as much as anyone else. When I go out one on one we usually split or take turns paying.

Viviennemary · 17/02/2026 17:37

They are cfs. I dont think I'd bother with them. Too annoying.

SilenceInside · 17/02/2026 17:40

Different rules seem to apply because these friends and acquaintances are being self-focussed, regardless of the reason. WLI do not change someone's personality to make them more or less considerate than they already were.

SirChenjins · 17/02/2026 18:05

It's funny how quickly attention becomes focused more when it becomes apparent that no-one is going to be subsidising your meals and drinks any more. You should have spoken up OP, but woulda, coulda, shoulda - sometimes it's difficult to be the only one putting your hand up. Enjoy your cheaper nights out! 😊

ObsidianTree · 17/02/2026 18:19

CornflakeMum · 17/02/2026 17:10

As I've already explained, this isn't something that happens in my smaller groups of friends - just more occasionally when it's larger groups (sometimes including people who aren't my friends).

Probably hasn't happened so frequently to bother me to the extent that I was going to go against the grain and make a fuss. As we've seen from comments here, some people consider such friends to be petty, tight and 'difficult'.

My observation was more that adding in the WLI dimension was an interesting one. It's as if someone saying 'I haven't eaten much' is a less valid reason that 'I'm on WLI and CAN'T eat much'? Somehow different 'rules' seem to apply, and I wondered if this was playing out elsewhere too?

Anyway, separate bills all the way from now on, woohoo! 🎉

Show quote history

I would say the people that ended up paying a lot more than usual and didn't consume as much might protest more next time. Possibly asked for full bill split again or hopefully want to pay for what they just ate.

But be prepared for some more pushback next time. So he prepared to say that everyone should just pay for what they ate to keep it fair and you no longer want to bill split when your share doesn't come to more than £30/40.

Quite interesting that people see how expensive it is when their meals aren't getting subsided by you and maybe one of two others that just put up with the bill split.

EvangelineTheNightStar · 17/02/2026 22:14

Exactly @ObsidianTree had a group been doing meals and things with, last time went out was fed up with Splitzy McFreeloader ordering wine, cocktails, steak, 3 courses, liquor coffee and “we’ll just split it”.. so I’d had set lunch 2 course menu and a coffee as 2 others in group, Splitzy usual order from ala carte and wine.. when we got bill, I said… oh I have cash, here £30 that covers meal and tip… friends A and B said.. oh me too, popped theirs down.. Splitzyz share? £62… was absolutely aghast at being expected to pay FOR WHAT SHE’D ORDERED AND EATEN AND DRANK!! Actually properly raging! Soo funny!
still remember her confusion… “but if we
split you’re only paying an extra £5 each!” Actually thought that was a good deal for us!

MooFroo · 17/02/2026 22:24

I love what a friend did when we went out recently and try to do that now when with different types of groups.

When we were planning dates and places to go, she put in the group that she was on a budget as her mortgage had just gone up so can we all pls pay for ourselves? We all said yes and think were probably relived that it was agreed beforehand so people could have as much /little as they wanted or could afford without being awkward! Also helpful to let the restaurant staff know at the time of ordering that you’ll be paying separately so they can plan for it - sometimes needs to be done discreetly at the counter!

Quitelikeit · 17/02/2026 22:29

The sheer nerve of the WLI! I think the person who WhatsApped you about them was thinking the same - how for years others have been subsidising them and all of a sudden they have now decided to put their foot down

Anyway glad you also put a stop to this. The person who paid £90 will definitely need to pay more attention to the bill next time