How do families have SAHMs?

[LikeDaisies]

Financially - I cannot comprehend how it’s possible!

Husband is a teacher. Earns around £44,000. That isn’t enough to cover our bills if I were to leave my job and stay at home with our baby.

Mortgage is £900. Other bills come to around £700 - not considering food, leisure, etc.

Not that I’d want to leave my job, but I’d love to be able to drop down to 3 days a week. But financially it just isn’t possible. We wouldn’t be able to afford our mortgage and bills.

So it leaves me wondering how I see so many families who are able to manage having a SAHM.

Please can anyone who is in this situation explain how it is possible/how you make it work?

My husband earned less than 40k when I was a sahm

My DH is on about 10k more than yours and we can manage on his salary alone.

It wouldn’t be very fun but we could live in the house with bills paid and eat food. Mortgage is about £1,000.

I’m self employed, some months I earn well and some months I don’t. It’s nice to know that if I earn nothing we are still okay.

1 school age DC and 1 in nursery 2 days a week.

DH has always earned well so we could technically survive on his salary alone but I had the best of both worlds with our x3 DCs, I worked nights and DH worked days. We didn’t see each other much for a few years but I got to stay home with the DCs when they were little and contribute financially.

How long ago? Cost of living and food is so significantly higher than it was 10 years ago.

My other bills come to almost £700

Council Tax
Life insurance
Water
Phone
TV / Broadband
Memberships
Gas / Electric
Kids activities/clubs
TV licence
Union fees
Car loan

It’s easy for other bills to cost around the £700 mark, not sure if you think it’s a lot or a little by your response but I can easily see that bills other than the mortgage would be this figure or higher.

When I had my first baby I was able to earn just under £155 a week for full time work after paying the bus fare to get there. That would see me out of the house for 8am, back by 6pm. Nursery for that baby was £159 for a full time place. And they would only take babies from six weeks old.

So there was no way to send the baby to nursery. I couldn’t become a sahm as I was also single but I can see how people do.

Well for us it basically came down to the fact that my DH wasn’t a teacher! When I was a SAHM he was earning c. £120k

None of my friends are sahms apart from one now I come to think about it. She moved into DP'S house, which he had a small mortgage for, while they worked at the same company. When DC was born they decided no more DC and she gave up her job to fully look after him. They have both been happy with this arrangement, DH has acquired wealth through inheritance has a steady reasonable paid job so no financial issues.

Friend has always said she should go back to work but hasn't, simply doesn't have to and no pressure from DH.

So, I guess it comes down to being able to afford to and also wanting to.

I worked pt for the first few years before DC went to school then went back FT, it was nice to have the best of both worlds for me. Xx

When was this? What was your mortgage and other outgoings? There’s a lot of factors that make a huge difference to people’s circumstances.

Well… I’m not the OP but our bills come to way more than £700!

Council tax: £292
Gas and electricity: £287
Water: £91
Home and contents insurance: £63
Life insurance and critical illness cover: £240
Car insurance: £36
TV and Internet: £104
Mobile phones: £50

DH is on 6 figures and we make some cut backs such as driving an old car, we’ve didn’t go abroad last year or this year, we need to move house due to baby 2 and the houses we will be buying aren’t as nice as they would be if I was back in work. I am not complaining about any of that I know we are in an incredibly fortunate position and many people don’t do those things but still couldn’t afford to have a SAHM. Having a partner on a high salary is the key (depending on where you live it probably doesn’t need to be 6 figures, we are London based so no way could we do it on less)

Only worked for me as I wasn't married to a teacher! I went part time after DC1 and had 2 years off after DC2. I then taught part time for 9 years. Shocking pay for the hours required.

I'm not quite a SAHM because I only work 10 hours spread out over the week. So yea, I might as well be.

My husband is a high earner and a businessman and brings home over 100k a year, and came into a lot of money recently which allowed us to pay off our mortgage. We also own both our cars outright. Has made a huge difference to monthly outgoings.

So yea, that's how it's been possible for us.

I appreciate we're very fortunate.

Some earn more, some spend less.

They earn more… DH makes double what your husband does and so he makes enough to cover us both. And our house is paid off.

Im not a mum yet but don’t currently work (student).

I've recently gone back to work (2 and a half days a week) but I was a SAHM for 2 and a half years. Husband is a teacher also (and so am I actually)
I used to tutor in the evenings while she was in bed, around 6 hours a week/maybe 10 in exam season and that money was spent on clubs/days out/baby clothes and my husbands salary paid our mortgage and bills which are slightly higher than yours. If you have a skill there are lots of things you can do to make extra money, i have a few friends with side hussles that allow them to stay home with their children too but I appreciate its not that way for everyone. Just thought I'd put my 2 pennies in as it does annoy me when everyone assumes you can only stay home if you're making 100kplus!

Obviously the main earner earns more than £44k.

My husbands a high earner and I was a low earner so it just made sense to us

You barely know any women who work full time with children? Seriously?

They earn more than you do and/or spend less.
i was a SAHM for about 12 years I think, until the youngest started school. I went back to work then, for lots of reasons but none of them was about money. It was the best decision for all of us and had zero regrets, I look back on my SAHM days with a lot of fondness. I wonder if my own dc will be lucky enough to be able to afford to have one parent at home if they choose to have dc (providing of course that they actually want to, it’s not for everyone but in my ideal world everyone should be able to afford the choice).

I know one woman who works full time. She is a single mother. All the married Mums I'm aware of locally don't work more than part-time, even with all kids in school.

Wow. I don’t know what to say to that.
I’ve always worked full time (teacher) with 3 kids under 3 - returned to work when the twins were 5.5 months. My sisters with three kids and four kids respectively both work full time (nurses).

I live in a fairly affluent areas there a lots of SAHMs of kids up to teen/uni age. Thry definitely dont seem to be going without holidays or luxuries. They either had well paid jobs before having kids or have well paid DHs working in corporate law, finance, or medicine. (Or both)

When was that? If recently and no benefits or additional financial support that must've been very tough.

And none of us are single mothers.