Both work and we claim UC but still can't afford to live.

[Mocha1]

We have 3 kids, 2 who aren't at school yet, my husband and I both work 30 hours a week for charities so not highly paid. We also have childcare for part of the week and then juggle the kids between us the rest of the time (We don't want to work more as we dont want the kids in fulltime childcare). We rent and down't own. We claim UC but we are still really struggling to make ends meet. We really try to live to a tight budget but I have no idea how to lower our expenses any more.

Am I missing something? Is this normal? does anyone have any tips for saving money/ making more income somehow? I feel a bit at a loss as we keep dipping into our savings for just day to day expenses and we're nearly at the end of those.

Our income at the moment (I'm on MAT leave) - £3980
Outgoings- £4250

Do these outgoings seem like a lot for a family of 5 living in the south west? I've been going over our budget and I have no idea how to save any more unless we literally never bought another birthday present or went to a soft play ever again.

Would you buy or rent a house that you knew you couldn’t afford? If you take home £2k a month you wouldn’t choose a rental or a mortgage that’s £2.5k per month and you wouldn’t be able to, there is a system in place to stop you. But you believe people should be allowed to have limitless numbers of children, irrespective of personal affordability?
And op isn’t “poor”. She and her husband are working part time by choice so that obviously reduces what they earn.

We stopped at one child, and have both worked second jobs/overtime/sessional work on top since long before he was born and when we were on much lower income, it was how we afforded to buy (before having children it's impossible after). We now earn fairly well DH does overtime in a second role every other Saturday and I do one week a month on call. We both work full time condensed hours and have both chased promotions I got promoted on mat leave, went in and did a 2 day interview panel and assessment when DS was 5 months old. Those second roles bring in an extra 14k roughly a year, and we're just renewing our mortgage and we jointly earn 28k more than we did two years ago because we've both had either full promotions or partial ones to additional responsibilities.

You've made the opposite choices. We stopped at one you had 3, we both work overtime you both work part time. We worked two jobs each to buy before having DC you stayed in rented. That's why your life is very different to ours.

My husband worked 80 hours this week 😂🫣

I sit on 32- and I know that is a huge luxury (I also take home £3k so I had a decent salary to start with).

I can’t help but wonder why I live in a system where some family’s hard work funds other peoples choices.

Benefits were never intended for this purpose - get one of you to work on the type of salary you should have had when you chose to have kids.

With interest rates and house prices the way they are, a mortgage is quite often not 'much less' than rent these days.

Imagine living in a place where the state (other taxpayers) tops up your money because you don't want to work a lot, and then you whinge about it not being enough? It's quite something.

I feel like you don’t want pragmatic advice. Because frankly, it’s going to cause you some discomfort. But the bottom line is that your outgoings are more than your incomings, so in your current season of life, you’ll need to “pick your poison”:

• One or both of you get a job outside of the charity sector for higher pay
• Downsize to a 2-bedroom rental and the kids share
• Everyone works FT, or at the very least, one of you does
• one of you gets a side hustle, eg, Uber Eats

There is no magic solution, and whichever way you choose to dig yourself out of this mess will involve some diacomfort. You’ll need to be an adult and choose your discomfort to provide for your 3 children.

You do realise that contraception can fail, right? It isn't for us to judge why the OP and DP have their 3rd child, that is not the point of this thread. They shouldn't have to justify their situation, they just need some friendly and constructive advice not judgement,

@Mocha1 the South West has become increasingly expensive and it has rental hotspots like Bristol and Bath, Some of the villages and towns in Gloucestershire are more affordable - it's expensive and disruptive to move house however if you could find a rental for around £1,200 which is quite doable in Glos that would release more budget for you. It depends which part of the SW you live in but there are plenty of charities operating in this area so you wouldn't have a problem securing similar equivalent work.

You are not taking responsibility for your lack of money.
one or both of you need to work full time to provide for the children you chose to have.
its that simple!

In the short to medium term, whilst they are still young enough to need childcare, getting a second job in the evenings/weekends/working opposite shifts is the answer. Money is always tight in the early years, whether you use full time childcare or take income hits working part time

A harsh reality check! One of you is going to have work full time like every other working family, who are you so special! Secondly why keep having children you really can’t afford? Then moan you cannot afford to live. Now look at your outgoings as after your rent the do seem incredibly high, cut back on your Sky package, look for cheaper phone contracts, see if you qualify for any social tariffs on your utilities. My niece is in a similar situation, 3 children, rent, both in low paid jobs but still manages to budget and save some money each month!

Loads of people might want three children but can’t afford to have that many so live within their means. Also Neither of you work full time - again, another luxury. No wonder the benefits system needs reform - it was never intended to pay for people’s life choices, just for those in the unfortunate position of not having a choice to work because they are so severely disabled or sick.

Everyone always has a go at those not working or single parents but there are lots of couples choosing to work part time hours and getting topped up by the state. I think min you have to work is 16hrs. I had someone come back from mat leave on 3 days and soon after asked to drop to 2 days (min 16hrs) as she would get pretty much same in UC top ups. I also know couples where mother stays at home and they get topped up on UC. Whereas other couples both out there working full time.

This family is choosing to work part time as UC will top up their salary to almost same as if was working full time. Upping their hours to full time probably won’t make a huge difference as they’s lose UC. Having a 3rd child knowing UC will support isn’t great, and neither is complaining about not having enough money when both working part time. If you’re still paying childcare and on mat leave then stop. So many do this, I reduced my DC to free hours only when on mat leave with no 2 but I see so many still send them in, very costly.

There seem to be an increasing number of these threads with the OP refusing to work full time for lifestyle reasons, while claiming UC due to their low income, and then complaining about their lot.

Is this the point of the welfare system?

If you're on mat leave, could you not look after the children and save childcare costs, whilst dad works FT and overtime to improve your financial situation? There's free childcare at age 3 so your dc would still experience nursery.

I think it's crazy to say that having 3 children is a luxury. We need people to have more children in the UK. This is so broken.

It's funny, my family's income is somewhat similar, also have three children and we don't feel overly stretched. Like we're not wealthy and don't have lots of brand new things but we don't struggle either. My husband works full time and I work 3 days a week. I'm amazed you are entitled to UC because we certainly aren't.

The difference for us is rent I think. We have a mortgage of less than £1000 a month. It also makes a big difference now that I'm back at work, so not on mat pay, and we get the 30 hours funding for the baby. We use a childminder who charges a very reasonable rate for wrap around care for the older two (where the baby also goes in the day). We also have things like solar panels on a good tariff which take the edge of electricity bills.

Work more?
Not up the state to pay more UC for your life choices

Absolutely it can fail, you then get a whole 9 months warning to sort out your finances. Husband should have got a better paid job to support his family.

I have 3 so I’m not going to berate you for that. In my case, no3 was a coil fail.

But I was married, I worked p/t at the time and my now ex was a high earner.

one or both of you need to work full time if you need more money. It’s that simple.

(I worked full time after my divorce and still do. At some points I worked f/t and did shifts in a bar at weekends they were with their dad. I also did a degree p/t)

OP I didn’t choose FT childcare either, you shouldn’t have to justify that choice. I would have been happy with a childminder but I never found one, DP and I worked opposite shifts, our kids went mornings to a preschool playgroup from 3. I don’t know what to suggest other than finances will get better. Is your rent quite high or is that standard where you are?

You don’t have to work more you need better jobs that pay more. I’m on my own with two teens and earn the equivalent of what both of you earn and struggle. You are loosing out in income because of the jobs that you have.

But if one of them got off their arse and worked full time it would make a difference! This is just a red herring to excuse their laziness! Benefits are there for a time if need not to supplement their income because they are too lazy to work full time! OP need a reality check, their outgoings are greater than their income so something has to change!

As others have said, the third child is here now so it’s irrelevant whether they’re a luxury or not. That situation won’t change.

Would the maths work that dp gets a better full time job, and you cut your hours slightly? Or one works weekends/evenings part time, and the other full time during the day (we did this). Dh would come home, hand the children over, and I’d go out to work.

Part time jobs are normally low paid so this needs to be reconsidered.

Yeah, you appear to be missing that there's a cost of living crisis and you've chosen to have 3 children, when neither of you earn well. I'm not really sure which part is throwing you. You both, or at the very least one of you, needs to find a higher paying jobs and put your children into full time childcare. Neither of you are even working full-time, so I don't understand how you're claiming UC. Usually, they would make you both get actual full time jobs. You need to just suck it it up and work full time hours. Capitalism sucks but it's the system we currently live in.

It’s a luxury not working full time with a family to support. If you’re not prepared to increase your hours/income unfortunately you will struggle financially.