Page 32 | Both work and we claim UC but still can't afford to live.

Mocha1 · 2025-09-26T21:48:11+00:00

We have 3 kids, 2 who aren't at school yet, my husband and I both work 30 hours a week for charities so not highly paid. We also have childcare for part of the week and then juggle the kids between us the rest of the time (We don't want to work more as we dont want the kids in fulltime childcare). We rent and down't own. We claim UC but we are still really struggling to make ends meet. We really try to live to a tight budget but I have no idea how to lower our expenses any more. Am I missing something? Is this normal? does anyone have any tips for saving money/ making more income somehow? I feel a bit at a loss as we keep dipping into our savings for just day to day expenses and we're nearly at the end of those. Our income at the moment (I'm on MAT leave) - £3980 Outgoings- £4250 Do these outgoings seem like a lot for a family of 5 living in the south west? I've been going over our budget and I have no idea how to save any more unless we literally never bought another birthday present or went to a soft play ever again.

Tastaturen · 27/09/2025 20:36

InformationEnthusiast · 27/09/2025 20:28

Finding a loophole in a system that is designed to help those genuinely in need, when you are not in need, you're just entitled - is gaming the system. It's the equivalent of dodgy lawyers that find loopholes in the law to get criminals out of their charges. They are still doing something wrong, whether they technically can or not. They do not need the UC, they just don't want to work full-time. That's not what it is intended for.

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It's not a loophole
HTH

Scottishlass10 · 27/09/2025 20:45

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 27/09/2025 20:28

Perhaps working parents could just leave their toddlers in the car all day instead. That would also be a choice.

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Now you’re being silly. How about one parent actually stays at home and parents their child rather than farm them out. It’s sad that some children can spend almost 40 hours per week in childcare. I just don’t get it.

everyoldsock · 27/09/2025 20:47

Digdongdoo · 27/09/2025 19:17

It really is.
"Gaming the system" means deliberately manipulating the rules, procedures, or processes of a system to gain an unfair advantage, exploit loopholes, or achieve personal goals that contradict the system's intended purpose

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Wrong. OP and her husband are, like millions of others, claiming what they’re entitled to, to help with their living costs.

JLou08 · 27/09/2025 20:50

InformationEnthusiast · 27/09/2025 20:32

You fully expect the full time working parents, that have to send their kids to childcare full-time, to sympathise with you? Seriously, you are not a victim here because people called out your behaviour. You need to listen to what people have said and seriously take it to heart. You and your husband need to get full-time jobs and stop complaining and acting like it's somehow confusing that you're not getting by. It's your own doing.

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OP said she is distressed so why do you feel you need to provide another shitty comment?
You seem to have completely missed the point in her post about how there would be no savings to the tax payer if she increased her hours and put her DC in childcare. Increasing her work hours will not benefit her children, the tax payer or OP so why would she do it?

Bellsbeachwaves · 27/09/2025 20:51

Lots of parents work part time, have kids and claim UC. Just think, even the Tory party are willing to support parents of young children working part time more than some of the posters on this thread.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 27/09/2025 20:58

Scottishlass10 · 27/09/2025 20:45

Now you’re being silly. How about one parent actually stays at home and parents their child rather than farm them out. It’s sad that some children can spend almost 40 hours per week in childcare. I just don’t get it.

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Erm, lots of reasons?

Because you need a double income to afford a decent standard of living these days?

Because it's not good to be financially dependent on your partner?

Because if we removed all these parents from the workforce we'd need a lot more immigrants to fill the vacancies?

Because it's important for children to see their parents as equals, and in particular for girls to see their mothers as strong women who do non domestic work and are financially compensated for it?

My children have been in full time childcare, both since before they were a year old, and they're not sad at all. They have a fantastic life and I'm doing everything I can to give them the best possible opportunities. Their life would be a lot less nice if we had to make do on one salary. So don't be sad on their account because it is really not necessary.

Nodecaffallowed · 27/09/2025 20:59

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request

CopperWhite · 27/09/2025 20:59

JLou08 · 27/09/2025 20:50

OP said she is distressed so why do you feel you need to provide another shitty comment?
You seem to have completely missed the point in her post about how there would be no savings to the tax payer if she increased her hours and put her DC in childcare. Increasing her work hours will not benefit her children, the tax payer or OP so why would she do it?

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She would t have to put her children in childcare though. She and her partner only work 30 hours a week each so there is plenty of opportunity at weekends or in the evenings for working hours to be increased without the need for childcare.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 27/09/2025 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request

Not the OP and her husband, that's for sure.

suki1964 · 27/09/2025 21:11

Mocha1 · 27/09/2025 19:11

I am honestly so shocked and saddened by the personal attacks I have received on here. I understand some of you may disagree with what we have chosen to prioritise. And you are within your right to make different choices. However, the personal judgments and attacks have been very hurtful.

My husband and I both work 4 days a week we also try and spend as much time as possible with our young children because we believe that is what is best for them.

I agree we need to make some changes to our situation that is why I was m, somewhat naively, reaching out for advice, from what I hoped would be a supportive network of other parents who understand how hard it is to juggle all priorities.

yes we claim UC, but if we both worked full time and our children were in full time childcare the government would also be paying for most of their childcare so we would still be reliant on the state. So how would that help? I do not agree with paying someone else, who the government is funding to look after my children for 5 days a week when I could work and contribute to the economy and also be with my children for part of the week.

I will not be responding to anything further on here. I hope you can please remember that I and other mums who have posted on her are real people. These posts have made the last 24 hours very distressing and I hope that other mums won’t have to go through the ridicule I have

Seriously?, you arent coming back because you know dam well you have engineered a lifestyle that suits you and DH and kids and has done for a long time, only now COL has kicked in

DH gets 94 pw SSP as he is crippled with dupytrens - hes a builder, his fingers are now curled so tight into his palms , his nails make cuts . Does he get to claim pips? Not a bloody mission because poking your own eyes out and slashing your face when washing and shaving doesn't qualify

I work 20 hrs a week - NMW - £236 take home

Guess what? cant afford kids

But we can afford to live - yes we get £94 a week sick pay - we manage, we cut our cloth , we dont come on here whinging we are milking the system and its still not enough

Bellsbeachwaves · 27/09/2025 21:13

suki1964 · 27/09/2025 21:11

Seriously?, you arent coming back because you know dam well you have engineered a lifestyle that suits you and DH and kids and has done for a long time, only now COL has kicked in

DH gets 94 pw SSP as he is crippled with dupytrens - hes a builder, his fingers are now curled so tight into his palms , his nails make cuts . Does he get to claim pips? Not a bloody mission because poking your own eyes out and slashing your face when washing and shaving doesn't qualify

I work 20 hrs a week - NMW - £236 take home

Guess what? cant afford kids

But we can afford to live - yes we get £94 a week sick pay - we manage, we cut our cloth , we dont come on here whinging we are milking the system and its still not enough

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Are you receiving UC?

Tastaturen · 27/09/2025 21:16

suki1964 · 27/09/2025 21:11

Seriously?, you arent coming back because you know dam well you have engineered a lifestyle that suits you and DH and kids and has done for a long time, only now COL has kicked in

DH gets 94 pw SSP as he is crippled with dupytrens - hes a builder, his fingers are now curled so tight into his palms , his nails make cuts . Does he get to claim pips? Not a bloody mission because poking your own eyes out and slashing your face when washing and shaving doesn't qualify

I work 20 hrs a week - NMW - £236 take home

Guess what? cant afford kids

But we can afford to live - yes we get £94 a week sick pay - we manage, we cut our cloth , we dont come on here whinging we are milking the system and its still not enough

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@Mocha1 is not 'milking the system'. HTH

InformationEnthusiast · 27/09/2025 21:18

JLou08 · 27/09/2025 20:50

OP said she is distressed so why do you feel you need to provide another shitty comment?
You seem to have completely missed the point in her post about how there would be no savings to the tax payer if she increased her hours and put her DC in childcare. Increasing her work hours will not benefit her children, the tax payer or OP so why would she do it?

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Because a reality check is sorely needed. She's living in a different reality to everyone else. She or her husband need to move into a different sector, that pays well, and actually work full time hours. Charities pay really badly. Working part time, in a sector that doesn't pay well, while raising three kids is just baffling.

I'm a perfect world, OP would get to live this life but unfortunately we all live in the real world, where there's a cost of living crisis. She's only £250 a month short on outgoings. ONE of them working full time would solve this. ONE of them leaving the charity sector and working full time would solve this.

The world is dystopian and awful but coming online, to a load of parents that are working non-stop and missing their kids all the time, just to scrape by and saying you're baffled that you and your partner working part-time in a badly paying sector isn't allowing you to raise three kids comfortably is so diabolically entitled.

NorthXNorthWest · 27/09/2025 21:22

everyoldsock · 27/09/2025 20:47

Wrong. OP and her husband are, like millions of others, claiming what they’re entitled to, to help with their living costs.

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Two people choosing to work fewer hours and expecting the tax pay to pick up the tab is not what the system is for.

Bellsbeachwaves · 27/09/2025 21:25

Over 2.1million households that claim UC included children.

Bellsbeachwaves · 27/09/2025 21:26

NorthXNorthWest · 27/09/2025 21:22

Two people choosing to work fewer hours and expecting the tax pay to pick up the tab is not what the system is for.

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Millions of parents with young children will do this

NorthXNorthWest · 27/09/2025 21:26

Tastaturen · 27/09/2025 21:16

@Mocha1 is not 'milking the system'. HTH

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They are gaming the system due to an appalling sense of entitlement.

RememberDecember · 27/09/2025 21:27

Montereyjaaack · 27/09/2025 17:21

Presumably the OP isn’t coming back to the thread:
… in her post where she said that she and her husband qualify for UC and have an income of over £4,000 that presumably includes the UC - the £628 allowance for couple and £292.81 for each qualifying child.

Most likely free childcare hours covers some childcare costs.
If they were both on NMW earning around £1363 month each then they’d qualify for somewhere over £1000 - £1400 a month UC. If they both worked 40 hours more the UC would be half of what they get currently.
That MIGHT explain their decisions.. perhaps not but we won’t know as she won’t be coming back I expect.

Please don’t tell me you can get £1500pm benefits in this scenario? I really hope I have misinterpreted that!

NorthXNorthWest · 27/09/2025 21:32

Bellsbeachwaves · 27/09/2025 21:26

Millions of parents with young children will do this

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Do you mean both parents working fewer hours so they can take their kids to soft play?

NorthXNorthWest · 27/09/2025 21:32

Bellsbeachwaves · 27/09/2025 21:26

Millions of parents with young children will do this

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Do you mean both parents working fewer hours so they can take their kids to soft play?

Bellsbeachwaves · 27/09/2025 21:33

NorthXNorthWest · 27/09/2025 21:32

Do you mean both parents working fewer hours so they can take their kids to soft play?

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Yes

Tastaturen · 27/09/2025 21:35

NorthXNorthWest · 27/09/2025 21:26

They are gaming the system due to an appalling sense of entitlement.

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RTFT

everyoldsock · 27/09/2025 21:49

NorthXNorthWest · 27/09/2025 21:22

Two people choosing to work fewer hours and expecting the tax pay to pick up the tab is not what the system is for.

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So why does the system allow it?

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 27/09/2025 21:53

everyoldsock · 27/09/2025 21:49

So why does the system allow it?

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Because it's broken.

NotEnoughKnittingTime · 27/09/2025 21:54

suki1964 · 27/09/2025 21:11

Seriously?, you arent coming back because you know dam well you have engineered a lifestyle that suits you and DH and kids and has done for a long time, only now COL has kicked in

DH gets 94 pw SSP as he is crippled with dupytrens - hes a builder, his fingers are now curled so tight into his palms , his nails make cuts . Does he get to claim pips? Not a bloody mission because poking your own eyes out and slashing your face when washing and shaving doesn't qualify

I work 20 hrs a week - NMW - £236 take home

Guess what? cant afford kids

But we can afford to live - yes we get £94 a week sick pay - we manage, we cut our cloth , we dont come on here whinging we are milking the system and its still not enough

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Is the reason you only work 20 hours a week is because you are a carer?