Both work and we claim UC but still can't afford to live.

[Mocha1]

We have 3 kids, 2 who aren't at school yet, my husband and I both work 30 hours a week for charities so not highly paid. We also have childcare for part of the week and then juggle the kids between us the rest of the time (We don't want to work more as we dont want the kids in fulltime childcare). We rent and down't own. We claim UC but we are still really struggling to make ends meet. We really try to live to a tight budget but I have no idea how to lower our expenses any more.

Am I missing something? Is this normal? does anyone have any tips for saving money/ making more income somehow? I feel a bit at a loss as we keep dipping into our savings for just day to day expenses and we're nearly at the end of those.

Our income at the moment (I'm on MAT leave) - £3980
Outgoings- £4250

Do these outgoings seem like a lot for a family of 5 living in the south west? I've been going over our budget and I have no idea how to save any more unless we literally never bought another birthday present or went to a soft play ever again.

In this case that’s for sure as she’s looooong gone. You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge sadly.

and bloody Labour want to lift child benefit cap

Here for support OP. our rent limit is half of yours...have you ever considered moving to Scotland? I understand not wanting your kids in childcare full time. For the reasons you mentioned as well as the cost. 2 kids in full time nursery is not cheap these days. I do agree however that perhaps working alternative days with a higher paid job or perhaps one of you doing Nightshift or may be a solution.

Sometimes it is a legitimate choice.

When I first had my kids, I was living in a very fancy flat overlooking George Square. Very expensive costs; factor fees, building fees, insurance fees, council tax. If I was in OP’s situation, I’d probably have needed to move to maybe Dennistoun. Still within Glasgow city, still easy walking distance to the city centre, but much much cheaper.

If you cannot afford the costs of where you live then either make more money, find savings elsewhere or move.

Both my dc have done extremely well from being in full time childcare.

Especially academically - state school to Bristol University to do Physics and my other following his dream. But thanks.

Just popping in to say that having three children is not a luxury. It’s gross for anyone to say so. We desperately need the next generation and some women having three is necessary or we won’t even be at replacement levels. We are finished as a society if we tsk women for having children.

The OP is doing us all a favour. Are we so dysfunctional as a society that ordinary, working people cannot have children. What are our values? What is the point?

Everything you want but don't need and can't afford is a luxury.

We did do that. Couldn’t afford a house in the area we grew up, so moved to another town to get a house.

I have two children would have loved a third but we simply could not afford a third, when i had the two i had a couple years as a sahm and all luxuries went out the window and it was hard, but with choices comes sacrifices and that time at home was more important at the time. Not a bad income compared to many , its just cost of living is high especially if private renting

If memory serves well this was attempted by the conservatives when Cameron first came in however the figures showed that almost half of the population would drop into poverty. I do agree though we are highly dependant on UC.

Completely agree,
I don’t have children but none of my friends had more than two simply due to the cost. My closest friend always wanted more but didn’t as they couldn’t afford a bigger house, larger car, extra curricular activities which they wanted their children to enjoy. They both worked full time, husband in a standard office job and my friend evenings and weekends mainly so they cut down childcare costs.
I’m shocked you can claim UC by opting to work part time. Surely it should only be for FT low earners (though of course all FT jobs should pay enough not to need this), anyone sick or disabled and unable to work and those losing their job to support until they find anyone.
Personally, I’d love to work part time. I have a chronic pain condition. Thankfully not serious enough to claim PIP but I’m exhausted working FT due to a combination of the condition and medication side effects. However I have no choice like many others as I have a mortgage and bills to pay. Why should anyone with or without children subsidise others through our tax who chooses to work part time?

Children aren’t a “want”. They are the continuation of life. The purpose of societies is for people to flourish. If our society is not set up in a way that young adults can reproduce and raise children, we will cease to exist. This is core to the human condition.

Three children is not a wild amount. The OP is in an intact relationship where the father is working and she is on mat leave looking after 3 young children. They are doing everything “right.”

Only a misanthrope could be so callus as to call her children a luxury.

Why do we desperately need the next generation? We cannot currently afford all the elderly people we have and advances in medicine will mean people will continue to live longer. With so many young people opting out of work or relying on benefits (currently over 13% of 16-24yr olds are NEET and that is rising) surely we would be better off, financially and environmentally, to reduce the population?
State school education currently costs on average over £8k per year per child, more if SEN. That money can be used to support the high percentage of elderly we currently have and will eventually level out as the population reduces.

Well it is a luxury as you can’t afford it and are relying the state to find your lifestyle ie your unwillingness to work full time.

Do you understand the term ‘poverty’?

They're not living in poverty ffs.

Who is going to grow up and pay taxes? Who will take care of you in your old age? Defend the country when you are feeble? Drive the buses? Stock the grocery stores? Etc?

No, you know who is actually doing everything right? The people who prioritised getting decent jobs and a stable living situation before having kids and are now earning enough that they pay for everyone else's free childcare hours and universal credit and child benefit but aren't eligible for anything back out of the system themselves.

If you want to incentivise people to have a third child, how about incentivising the ones who would actually be able to afford it by themselves if they weren't being bled dry supporting people like the OP who have children they really can't afford?

There is absolutely nothing to stop the OP's husband from working full time or moving into a better paid sector. And frankly even if doing so didn't make much of a difference to their monthly income because then he'd get less free money from the magic money tree (paid for by other people who work), that's still what he should be doing.

The children we do have? I cannot see why we need to grow or even maintain current population levels.

Thanks for this, nice to feel seen. I sometimes wonder whether I should just chuck in the towel, if all I'm doing is a funding a family just like mine who for some reason think they deserve to work fewer hours.

Agree, my DH and I brought our first home (a massive project that was going cheaper than other houses), got married and then had our children.
We have friends stuck in rental because they chose to have children first, peoples life choices differ but the choices we make should be owned.
The OP hasn’t put her age but having 3 children close together in age is harder then 3 that are spread out so that childcare costs are minimal.

There are so many posters who are quick to trot out this near-genius level of advice without thinking about it, hardly at all I suspect.

Do you not think that people don't consider doing this? They don't move because it's likely that they wouldn't be able to get an equivalent jobs easily elsewhere, it might involve moving very far away from family support which is very important to parents of young children in particular, or it might involve moving to areas that are rougher and more dangerous.

Even where I live, which is one of the cheapest areas in the U.K, most decent housing for a family it at least 1k, and many family sized homes are up to 1,400k or above per month.

The children of parents who are currently working hard and paying taxes.

Not the children of parents who think working part time and expecting the taxpayer to top you up is a valid lifestyle choice.

Scotland much be much cheaper than Wales then, as a decent family sized home is about 1k - 1.5k to rent here in most places .

So if you know and ‘teach in an impoverished part of an already deprived area’ how can you say you don’t understand?

those who can’t, teach.

three children are a luxury many of us on higher salaries can't afford so it's hard to be sympathetic