Both work and we claim UC but still can't afford to live.

[Mocha1]

We have 3 kids, 2 who aren't at school yet, my husband and I both work 30 hours a week for charities so not highly paid. We also have childcare for part of the week and then juggle the kids between us the rest of the time (We don't want to work more as we dont want the kids in fulltime childcare). We rent and down't own. We claim UC but we are still really struggling to make ends meet. We really try to live to a tight budget but I have no idea how to lower our expenses any more.

Am I missing something? Is this normal? does anyone have any tips for saving money/ making more income somehow? I feel a bit at a loss as we keep dipping into our savings for just day to day expenses and we're nearly at the end of those.

Our income at the moment (I'm on MAT leave) - £3980
Outgoings- £4250

Do these outgoings seem like a lot for a family of 5 living in the south west? I've been going over our budget and I have no idea how to save any more unless we literally never bought another birthday present or went to a soft play ever again.

@Mocha1 I totally agree with you about children needing their parents, especially in the early years. That's why I became a sahm. With DH we looked on his earnings and calculated how much we would need. I would have loved to have plenty of children but I want to give my children a good life with time to each one and no financial worries (we're far from rich but DH earns enough to make it work). Therefore we said 2 children max in order to not struggle and so they could have a room of their own.

Now, since you have got 3 children and you're struggling financially you have to leave your ideas about being present for your children (which I adhere to) and work more in order to provide for them.

Why would UC support be contingent on only one parent working FT though? Why would it be acceptable if one parent worked 37.5 hrs a week and the other parent worked 22.5hrs, but not if both work 30hrs? Or have I misunderstood you?

No, a third child is not a luxury, neither for you personally nor for wider society; 'replacement' fertility is 2.1, so one in ten women need to have 3 children just for society to maintain its population!

Regardless of whether it is beneficial or not, full time childcare is ruinously expensive. I've frequently read of childcare for two children costing more than a mortgage, so it is financially prudent of you to structure yourselves to avoid it.

If you feel you've trimmed your outgoings as much as you can, then the only thing you can look to is increasing your income. You said in your OP that "my husband and I both work 30 hours a week for charities so not highly paid." I'd start exploring if there are other better-paid jobs you could consider for at least one of you to move to. Charity is all very well, but it begins at home! An alternative way to look at it is the First Aid ethos - you can't aid the injured if you just enter into a situation without protecting yourself from becoming injured as well - all that does is give the next person who arrives two injured people to aid. You might both want to work in the charity sector, but you need to earn enough to keep yourselves. And needs come before wants.

There is also the possibility of second jobs. Evening jobs? Weekend jobs? You're short by about £300/month, so something that would provide £75/week minimum. Yes, it means less time with your children, but your first priority is for them to have a roof over their heads and food on the table.

Assuming this is real, OP I would do two budgets: one for while on maternity leave and one for if/ when you return to work. I just added my own monthly expenses (council tax/ gas/ electricity/ water/ broadband/ insurance/ 2x mobile contracts/ 2x car tax) to your £1400 rent which gives £2100 leaving £1880 available for food and everything else - you won’t have any childcare costs while on maternity leave (and your expenses may well be less than ours) so I think it would definitely be possible to set out a budget that works for your family.

You do wonder that maybe benefits, aside from for the elderly or physically and mentally disabled should be stripped back to the barest minimum to stop you starving or freezing to death only. It would motivate people like the OP and partner who are capable of working more hours but expect other tax payers to fund their personal beliefs.

Agree. There is a really obvious answer. Husband should work full time whilst the OP is on Mat leave. But to point that out is nasty...

I get that you don’t think it’s beneficial for the children to be in full time childcare but you aren’t working enough hours as a couple to maintain 3 children.
A third child I’m afraid would be considered a ‘luxury’ in my friendship/family group and I have 3! Most of my friends and family stopped at two children, even if they had wanted another, they really couldn’t have afforded to.
I work 28 hours a week, my husband works 50 hours a week and that is the only way we manage. We aren’t entitled to UC etc so have to fund everything ourselves.
When my children were smaller I worked nights to include weekends and my husband worked days, so that they weren’t in full time childcare, maybe this could be an option for you?
Sadly in this economic climate it isn’t possible to work the hours you are and live well. Most families I know have both parents working full time or 1 person part time and the other to more than full time hours ie 45+ in one job or 37 hours in one job and then part time hours in another.

Incorrect.
Suggestions of increasing hours, or even looking for extra work, are practical.
Some comments are just judgmental and spiteful though.

I'm not referring to the practical suggestions, I'm referring to the unnecessarily judgemental posts. HTH

Your outgoings seem huge to me but I am in the North West. We're a family of 5 and I need to pay childcare for 1 of them. My outgoings are about half of yours. Could you give a breakdown of your outgoings? People may identify potential savings that way.

Because there is more likelihood of career progression if one person is working full time and dedicating themselves to their career. We all know that surely 🤦🏻‍♀️

it’s different if you have clawed your way to a decent wage and then chosen to compress hours or work more flexibly. . People do that all the time. But to both work low paid jobs part time - well no one stands a chance of climbing the wage ladder unless they are maybe doing professional qualifications alongside that.

Rightio, you just wanted to be nasty. That was incredibly helpful.

Judgment won't help her realise anything.

Nobody said that suggesting they work more us nasty, is the judgemental approach of some posters. HTH

Hi Op, a spending breakdown would help people to offer better advice. I am in the South East, with a lower income and a higher mortgage but am managing. It’s tight though!

Plenty of people use full time child care because they have to work to support their families. They might have chosen not to have a third child because they couldn't afford it. But you expect tax money from those people to pay your benefits while not being willing to work full time yourself. And then complain about it.

YABVVU. Get a full time job.

The government announced a few months ago that from September 2026 everyone on Universal Credit (not just people earning below £7,400) will be entitled to free school meals. I had seen the announcement too and assumed it was this September which may be where the confusion has arisen.

https://educationhub.blog.gov.uk/2025/06/expanding-free-school-meals-what-parents-need-to-know/

That’s going to help a lot of people. I know several at my son’s schools who, due to the cost of living crisis, are skipping lunches. They seem to have lunch Monday to Wednesday but Thursday and Friday, they don’t bring a packed lunch because we think the parents have ran out of food for it and they don’t have money on their school cards.

Do you know if this is UK wide though? Or just England?

What’s the point of that? They would lose some universal credit and he wouldn’t be around as much for the kids. Or do you think he’s suddenly going to land a high paying job?

Blame the system, not OP and her partner.

Labour just can't help themselves with giving out the freebies. As they get increasingly desperate coming towards the next election there will be more and more. Just like Sunak cutting NI in an attempt to bride us.

Most working families know that having more than one kid in child care is too costly

people have less kids
space the kids ages out more
the obvious really !!

not working Full time and claiming benefits is a piss take
unless there is disability - we have to work full time to cover our cost of living !!!

your ideology about it’s not beneficial to have kids in full time child care is bollocks if u can’t afford to live without putting them in child care

as PP have pointed out - problem of your own making - the solution is obvious - work more - what else did u expect people to say ???

You mean like most other families?

Of course we can blame people who the piss out of the country. There are far too many of them.

Not nasty - just a fact that I have no sympathy - they both don’t think they should work full time but want sympathy for thinking their higher than average income doesn’t stretch.

Was waiting for this classic….

You could relocate to a cheaper area

🤦🏼‍♀️

3 kids is a luxury, so is working part time in a lower paid job as is receiving uc when you choose not to work. If you want to prioritise those then you need to cut spending elsewhere even if it lowers your standard of living.

I know couples with better paid jobs who had to stop at two kids because finances wouldn't have worked for them. For many the finances were still tight until kids went to school and the child care costs dropped massively.

For comparison, after mortgage and child care we are only spending about £1000 a month of bills, groceries, shopping etc. Your money is going somewhere and I doubt you are only spending it on bare essentials.