Page 18 | Both work and we claim UC but still can't afford to live.

Mocha1 · 2025-09-26T21:48:11+00:00

We have 3 kids, 2 who aren't at school yet, my husband and I both work 30 hours a week for charities so not highly paid. We also have childcare for part of the week and then juggle the kids between us the rest of the time (We don't want to work more as we dont want the kids in fulltime childcare). We rent and down't own. We claim UC but we are still really struggling to make ends meet. We really try to live to a tight budget but I have no idea how to lower our expenses any more. Am I missing something? Is this normal? does anyone have any tips for saving money/ making more income somehow? I feel a bit at a loss as we keep dipping into our savings for just day to day expenses and we're nearly at the end of those. Our income at the moment (I'm on MAT leave) - £3980 Outgoings- £4250 Do these outgoings seem like a lot for a family of 5 living in the south west? I've been going over our budget and I have no idea how to save any more unless we literally never bought another birthday present or went to a soft play ever again.

GinPin2 · 27/09/2025 10:21

@Mocha1 saving money tips , page 16, in case you have given up reading replies!!

ChangingWeight · 27/09/2025 10:21

To be honest, I can’t tell if this is a joke post or is serious.

Firstly, your income is obviously not high enough if both you and your husband claim UC. So the first thing is you both need better jobs and to increase your hours so that you’re no longer reliant on benefits. Being on UC, indicates you’re low income.

Secondly, children are very expensive and these costs should have been considered before you got pregnant again tbh. Especially whilst already being low income/low earners/reliant on benefits. of course, your life with more children was going to be tight. I’m not sure why you’re baffled about dipping into savings. I wouldn’t have thought someone in your shoes would be capable of building savings.

I think it sounds like you are taking the P a bit, because you simultaneously want luxuries like going to soft play, having a bunch of kids, working part time…when you don’t have the funds to sustain all those choices. It’s like you don’t realise that something will have to give, and you may need to work more.

nearlylovemyusername · 27/09/2025 10:23

MikeRafone · 27/09/2025 09:39

@Mocha1

I would imagine the rent is one of your biggest outgoing along then with council tax - other than getting council accommodation you're not going to get cheaper rent - even Manchester for a 3 bed is £1400 a month

so from the £3900 odd you have incoming - your rent and council tax is taking up £1600 of that leaving you with £2,300 for the remaining bills and childcare costs - which for two children not at school is still going to be high cost even with the 30 hours childcare from government.

If you drive then you have possibly got yourselves a catch 22 cost - if you don't work you don't need the car, but if you do work it costs you to work and cars aren't cheap to maintain, with fuel, MOT, servicing, insurance etc Owning a car or two could be adding £800 a months to your outgoings and if your earnings for 2 weeks work are only just covering the costs of keeping two cars - its a lot of money

maybe you also have debt?

Your income is around £46000 per annum and for 60 hours a week your hourly rate including U.C. is £15 an hour

There are budgeting tools online, maybe sit down and go through everything you spend https://www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/everyday-money/budgeting/budget-planner this is a tool that citizen advise use.

Sit down together with all your paperwork and bank statements and go through everything you spend - then get help for any possible debt

good luck

Your income is around 46000...

Wow! A couple on NMW working full time would get about £44.5k net and pay about £7k pa of tax and NI, so already less than OP.

Given that welfare bill (excluding pensions) is about 20% of all tax receipts, it means that £1400 of that FT working couple's taxes go to sponsor OP's lifestyle with working only 30h each.

Whilst she's "struggling" with not having enough on soft play...

Just wow

chattychatchatty · 27/09/2025 10:23

Catsknowbest · 27/09/2025 10:09

One thing really confusing me in this thread. I work in the charitable sector and myself and colleagues don't consider ourselves "low" paid. For similar level jobs in say government I am better paid where I am, than if I switched. So that part puzzles me. We also get a good pension deal.

OP and her OH are bringing home nearly £4k for 60 hours work pw; comfortably above min wage, I think. And this is while OP is on MAT leave; so I guess their regular income is above this?

EdithBond · 27/09/2025 10:26

brunettemic · 27/09/2025 10:15

True, but I’m very basic maths that would be 20% more hours and 20% more income for them is nearly £800 so it’s a sizeable change. Obviously it’s not quite that straight forward but hopefully you get my point.

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Yes, I do.

Parents could work longer and longer hours and barely spend any quality time with their children. But, if everyone keeps working longer hours, prices will go up in a market. So, overall, it doesn’t solve the problem.

The problem is that even parents who both work full-time are struggling to afford basics, are burned out, have very little time to relax or have fun with their kids.

If you work full-time with kids, there’s a lot of essential chores to pack into a weekend: laundry, cleaning, homework etc etc.

All the while, landlords and energy companies are making billions.

Yet, apparently, struggling families need to suck it up and dig deeper.

Seelybee · 27/09/2025 10:27

Mocha1 · 26/09/2025 23:59

Wow, this got quite unpleasant quite quick. Thank you to those of you who have been genuinely supportive. I was going to post more of a breakdown of our outgoings but now I feel very vulnerable after some of the comments.

From the research we’ve done, we’ve come to believe that it’s not beneficial to their development or long term wellbeing to be in full time childcare at a young age. I understand not everyone would agree with that. And I have honestly never heard of a third child being called a luxury.

@Mocha1 you need to read this back. Can you see how entitled you sound?
You WANT three children but
You only WANT two part time modest incomes because
You DON’T WANT your children in more childcare and
You WANT your income to be topped up by the state (i.e. those people working more etc).
That’s not being unkind, it’s fact. You’ve chosen to have more children than you can afford to support.

WimbyAce · 27/09/2025 10:28

Cursula · 27/09/2025 10:07

Only had one, too. No chance of affording a second, and for a long time I was saddened (had always wanted 4!). Cut your cloth, etc.

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True this. I hear people at work with no kids currently saying they want 3 or 4. They are so naive about the costs! It is constant. We have 2 but I am super careful with budgeting. A lot of their clothes I am now getting on Vinted from money I have made from selling on there. We have also been massively fortunate with no childcare costs as had family help, I don't think we could have done it otherwise.

Nanny0gg · 27/09/2025 10:30

Mocha1 · 26/09/2025 23:59

Wow, this got quite unpleasant quite quick. Thank you to those of you who have been genuinely supportive. I was going to post more of a breakdown of our outgoings but now I feel very vulnerable after some of the comments.

From the research we’ve done, we’ve come to believe that it’s not beneficial to their development or long term wellbeing to be in full time childcare at a young age. I understand not everyone would agree with that. And I have honestly never heard of a third child being called a luxury.

Well whilst there's a two child cap on benefits then really, it is.

You are, with the best will in the world, making decisions you can't afford.

Can one of you get a second job? An evening or weekend one?

Because between you, unless you live somewhere really expensive, it's not bad money for part time, even though it's not going far enough

And I hate to tell you that the older your children get, the more expensive they get.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 27/09/2025 10:31

Catsknowbest · 27/09/2025 10:09

One thing really confusing me in this thread. I work in the charitable sector and myself and colleagues don't consider ourselves "low" paid. For similar level jobs in say government I am better paid where I am, than if I switched. So that part puzzles me. We also get a good pension deal.

I work in a role which exists in basically every sector. (Think support functions like legal, HR, marketing etc.)

I remember when I qualified speaking to a recruiter who basically said, "You can get paid significantly more or less depending on whether you want to work in a sexy sector or not. If you want to feel good about yourself or have good anecdotes to tell at dinner parties, you can look at jobs in the charity sector, the media, even the public sector. If you want a higher salary, look at boring sectors like construction or finance."

It's not all that surprising that you are better off where you are now than you would be in government, because government jobs are poorly paid. (Been there, done that.)

Figgygal · 27/09/2025 10:32

Just unbelievable
3 children
Both part time
Claiming UC to support their choices

Ridiculous entitlement

Allrightonthenight1 · 27/09/2025 10:34

Charredtea · 27/09/2025 10:04

im disabled with kids with Sen. If I could work less I would but I have a mortgage and bills to pay just like everyone else. Even when I did work full time the childcare costs were crippling and that was with support from tax credits.
many married couples I know , one spouse, usually the wife has stopped working altogether due to the costs of childcare.
im single parent so I don’t have that option, there’s no salary I can earn which would make it easy for me to completely stop claiming top up. Billions of working families claim if because businesses do not pay in line with inflation and the cost of livibg
on the flip side you have business owners claiming they cannot afford to pay a living wage and they their costs are so high because of people like me demanding a living wage.
I am exhausted from pain and fatigue daily before I even start work.?not all those in need of if top up are lazy scroungers, I bet loads of people you know are claiming on top of working.

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Of course I know people who do this; I teach in an impoverished part of an already deprived area.

But not amongst my peers or my friendship group, no.

Horses7 · 27/09/2025 10:34

Mycatissohandsome · 27/09/2025 06:41

Exactly this. I am always agog at threads like this. Both parents work PT, claim benefits, have chosen to have 3 children and yet cannot fathom why they are struggling. How about doing what the vast majority of us HAVE to do - get thee out to work full time!!!

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This !!
We, including my hard working TWO adult children (we couldn’t afford three despite both of us working full time but then we didn’t claim benefits) are paying for your lifestyle choices.
Earn your own money - I’m amazed you’re entitled to UC - obviously JUST working enough hours to qualify.
You’re surprised people aren’t feeling sorry for you???
Wake up and support your family like most of us do!

Catsknowbest · 27/09/2025 10:40

Mm. I went into this sector years ago for personal reasons (I'm a specialist) and I get that some people do it for other reasons.

everyoldsock · 27/09/2025 10:44

chattychatchatty · 27/09/2025 10:23

OP and her OH are bringing home nearly £4k for 60 hours work pw; comfortably above min wage, I think. And this is while OP is on MAT leave; so I guess their regular income is above this?

Edited

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No, that’s the income from their jobs and universal credit.

Differentforgirls · 27/09/2025 10:46

PurpleCat12 · 27/09/2025 00:23

You had 3 children expecting the state to support them because you and darling husband can't be arsed providing for them yourselves by working full time.

Very few parents love working full time and putting their children in childcare but unless you have enough in savings or one of you earns loads of money, it's just how it is.

Nasty.

Anon501178 · 27/09/2025 10:47

TomatoSandwiches · 26/09/2025 23:28

You have 3 children, that's a luxury really.
Could you work opposite shifts, days/nights or retraining and become a childminder, extra weekend work?

How strange to call having children a 'luxury'.....3 children (which really isnt that many!) was the norm across many varied income households several decades ago, people just didn't get criticised and judged for it.

Lara1978o · 27/09/2025 10:48

Our income at the moment (I'm on MAT leave) - £3980
Outgoings- £4250

I don’t see any option other than to up your hours, regardless of if you want to or not. Your out goings are more than you have coming in. Surely that’s the only way? How are you currently bridging this gap?

If you don’t want to up childcare can your husband up his hours whilst you are at home during mat pay? Can you up your hours at your current jobs but compressed into longer days?

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 27/09/2025 10:48

Anon501178 · 27/09/2025 10:47

How strange to call having children a 'luxury'.....3 children (which really isnt that many!) was the norm across many varied income households several decades ago, people just didn't get criticised and judged for it.

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Several decades ago the economic landscape was completely different. The OP and her husband aren't raising their children in the 1970s.

Bryonyberries · 27/09/2025 10:50

Is there a way one of you could move into full time work and one of you drop to part time? Would this allow you to reduce the amount you spend on childcare? If you can get it down to them only needing the 22hrs stretched through the year you’ll only need to pay for their meals etc.

I’m guessing that with with two child cap you didn’t get any extra UC for the third child so you may have to reassess outgoings to bring them to a level that matches income. Food costs are one of the highest outgoings after essential bills and probably is the main thing to look at - meal plan, types of snacks etc.

MyJKwasasaint · 27/09/2025 10:51

I think most people would struggle with 3 children these days. I know several people who stopped at 1 because they couldn’t afford more. Especially if you’re not both working full time.

I think it’s quite unusual for both partners to be working part time.

The cost of living in this country has changed so much that people on low-medium salaries would struggle with 3 children when not bringing in 2 full time wages.

Anon501178 · 27/09/2025 10:52

OP i could have written alot of your post myself.DH and I rent, earn similar a month, and we only have 2 children yet its a stretch, so i think you're doing well!
We live in the east of England and lucky that our rent is quite low.

Big expenditures in one pay packet over £100-200 can leave us in debt, so i've started to try doing the PayPal pay in 3 more where possible.
Things like car maintainence and Christmas and if we want a holiday hit us hard.But I'd rather be in a small amount of debt than not enjoy life to a certain extent.

We also claim UC which has been useful but incredibly problematic as they've continuously messed our claim up 🤦‍♀️

mmsnet · 27/09/2025 10:53

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Nestingbirds · 27/09/2025 10:55

Anon501178 · 27/09/2025 10:52

OP i could have written alot of your post myself.DH and I rent, earn similar a month, and we only have 2 children yet its a stretch, so i think you're doing well!
We live in the east of England and lucky that our rent is quite low.

Big expenditures in one pay packet over £100-200 can leave us in debt, so i've started to try doing the PayPal pay in 3 more where possible.
Things like car maintainence and Christmas and if we want a holiday hit us hard.But I'd rather be in a small amount of debt than not enjoy life to a certain extent.

We also claim UC which has been useful but incredibly problematic as they've continuously messed our claim up 🤦‍♀️

You are well on your way to serious debt if this your mindset. You have no means to pay it off.

BluntPlumHam · 27/09/2025 10:55

Mocha1 · 26/09/2025 23:59

Wow, this got quite unpleasant quite quick. Thank you to those of you who have been genuinely supportive. I was going to post more of a breakdown of our outgoings but now I feel very vulnerable after some of the comments.

From the research we’ve done, we’ve come to believe that it’s not beneficial to their development or long term wellbeing to be in full time childcare at a young age. I understand not everyone would agree with that. And I have honestly never heard of a third child being called a luxury.

It’s a race to the bottom on MNS. No one should be dictated to about how many children they want to have it’s suggesting only the wealthy are allowed to breed.

It’s the cost of living sky rocketing that isn’t keeping up with salaries.

You could move somewhere cheaper because your rent is quite high.

One of you (the one who doesn’t want to stay at home) needs to look for a better paying job, in all honesty that’s the key solution here is to generate more income via more hours or better role.

I empathise you wanted to stay home with your children, childhood is very, very brief and it’s scandalous that they’re in full time care with strangers from age 1. If you went to reduce childcare, then one of you had to become a better provider.

TwinklySquid · 27/09/2025 10:56

In life, you have choices. You have chosen:
-Both not to work full time
-Not to put children in full time childcare
-Have three children
-Live in a high cost area

Some of these choices are easier to change, like looking at new jobs, than others.

If you really don’t want the children in full time childcare, then one of you should at least look at better paid full time work.