Both work and we claim UC but still can't afford to live.

[Mocha1]

We have 3 kids, 2 who aren't at school yet, my husband and I both work 30 hours a week for charities so not highly paid. We also have childcare for part of the week and then juggle the kids between us the rest of the time (We don't want to work more as we dont want the kids in fulltime childcare). We rent and down't own. We claim UC but we are still really struggling to make ends meet. We really try to live to a tight budget but I have no idea how to lower our expenses any more.

Am I missing something? Is this normal? does anyone have any tips for saving money/ making more income somehow? I feel a bit at a loss as we keep dipping into our savings for just day to day expenses and we're nearly at the end of those.

Our income at the moment (I'm on MAT leave) - £3980
Outgoings- £4250

Do these outgoings seem like a lot for a family of 5 living in the south west? I've been going over our budget and I have no idea how to save any more unless we literally never bought another birthday present or went to a soft play ever again.

As Dave Ramsey says there’s a great place to go when you’re broke - to work.

When did it become acceptable in this country to allow the state to pay for you to look after your kids instead of yourself. You don’t have to put them in childcare. One of you works days, the other nights. If you choose to have 3 kids then that affects what choices you make after.

Blimey, you could both work a 50 hour week and still have two days out of 7 together.

But then I’m from a farming background where at this time of year 70 hour weeks are normal and people don’t see their families till the end of October apart from rainy days.

30 hours is just not enough to be working. Possibly for one parent if the other is doing 50-60 on a low income.

Might seem harsh but I think it’s become normal to think working a 30 hr week is acceptable. Fine if you earn enough that the state doesn’t have to pay. Not ok if you don’t.

Where exactly do you live?????
On £2,000 a month you can have a mortgage, save, pay for weekends out and annual holidays?!?
Seriously, where do you live because I'd like to move there!
I'm in Sussex.

Having 3 children and neither of you working FT is ridiculous. How on earth did you think things would be?

Did you not give this any consideration before having children? I’d like to work PT and travel first class around the world but I’m realistic enough to know that isn’t a viable option.

You have three children and neither of you works full time.

You would need to have very low outgoings to make that work, or have better paying jobs.

And again, being horrible doesn't change your situation.

Don't you have any transport costs? We've only got one car, but I have a bus pass for example. Or is that coming out of the £500 too?

You can’t afford three children on low wage part time jobs - it’s really as simple as that.

Neither of you work full-time and you have three children. There’s your problem.

It’s all well and good to have principles about being with your dc, not putting them in FT childcare, but why should the taxpayer pay for your life decisions?

At least one of you should be working FT.

I often say my life would be easier with 3 kids … we all choose our family and our dogs & cats are family to us. So comparing animals to children is very fair - both time consuming, both expensive. Only difference is mine don’t grow up and leave home and for that I’m glad. Give me animals any day, so many who have children ultimately wish they’d not bothered at some point. Not you of course, but some.

@Statsquestion1 certain cars have free tax? Ours is free tax.
I have a suicide attempt on my medical record so I'm not entitled to life insurance. We found one with ridiculous premiums but the terms of the policy weren't even worth it so I just don't have one x

It's all very well saying you don't want your children in full time care but from what I see here, you have consciously made the decision that neither you or your husband will work full time and you are quite happy for tax payers to pick the rest of your bills up and then whine that you don't have enough money. Either one or both of you need two either get better paid part time jobs, go full time or get second jobs. Children are expensive - and you have chosen to have 3. You - and no-one else - are responsible for providing adequately for those kids.

My parents both worked full time jobs and then my dad gigged Friday and Saturday nights at pubs/clubs (musician) to earn extra to support the family. So Fridays for instance, he was out the house for 7am to travel an hour to work and then back home at 7pm and then out 8pm til gone midnight gigging.

It angers me that there are lazy people out there who have kids and want the state to support them because they are too lazy or entitled.

@CamillaDonald sunderland NE ! x

You see this is where you have no perspective because it’s really NOT the same thing.

That’s how capitalism works, with everything. You have what you can afford. If you can’t afford it then you don’t get it. If you do it anyway, you’re going to struggle. Don’t complain about it when you make a poor choice and then cannot afford it.

@Digdongdoo
My wife pays for her fuel and I use a bus pass. Which normally comes from CB or my own personal pot for tat. Depends what the day entails. So taking kids to softplay, I use their CB to pay for bus fare. Me going to the city centre for shopping, my tat money pays bus fare x

Pets might be your family, and that's fine, but it's not remotely comparable to having actual human children.

Gosh you should really shop around and make that a priority. How would your DH manage should anything happen to you?

No wonder Reform is winning in all polls...

You sure you're not missing any other income out? It's stretching further and further each time you post. You initially didn't count child benefits, anything else you don't count as income?
I don't know whether to be impressed or suspicious.

@Digdongdoo that's one of our worries. But I have multiple suicide attempts during my 20s and I just can't get covered. It's very unfortunate. I'm not that person anymore but I can't erase my past. Hopefully I a few year I'm going to try again and see if 15 years after the fact makes a difference x

It’s unpleasant because we’d ALL like to make those decisions but frankly CAN’T. You have UC, many of us with similar incomes don’t, you have the ability to earn more but have DECIDED to limit yourself.

whilst it’s not a race to the bottom, your choices have put you here and you can do something about it but choose not to.

so yes, brace yourself.

It doesn't work like that. They are both in jobs that don't pay well so the increase in childcare costs would completely swallow up any extra income, and they would lose a huge chunk of benefits too, so they'd actually be worse off. It is a catch-22 situation.

And don't say 'oh, just get a better-paid job then' because it ain't as easy as that. If well-paid jobs were easy to come by, the OP and many other low-paid people wouldn't be in this situation, would they?

What a stupid thing to say. It’s not like she can return them. You’ve got no idea how her circumstances have changed between having no and now 3 children.

And OP, don’t live in discomfort because something you read online told you that your kids are better off not being in FT childcare. What is this ‘research’ you’ve done? Are you qualified in child psychology? Because to others it just sounds like you can’t be arsed to work full time and are using having children as an excuse not to. Everybody else in your situation would just work more. Either that or you/ your husband needs to get out of the charity sector and get a better paying job. Charity sector is notoriously poorly paid.

I had no idea about the free tax thing so a car has be vintage or a mobility vehicle as such from what I can see. Sorry to hear about your suicide attempt. It’s awful that past struggles can make something like insurance so hard to get. You sound like such a wonderful person and you are doing great 😊 ❤️