Can only marred couples answer please.

[Richesme]

After my last posts about my husband wanting to go halves in paying bills rent etc when I start working full time, I’ve sat down with him and even though we had a disagreement about going halves, he eventually said, you can keep all your money to yourself and do your own spendings or savings from there.

He doesn’t believe that couples either put all their money in one pot or go halves in proportionate to their wages. His works in the bank therefore tells me that he has many customers come in to open joint accounts and they go halves.

I want to find out as married couples, how do you guys manage your money, bills, rent, mortgage, spendings, savings and investments?

Married 38 years. Always had joint accounts.My husband has always earned substantially more than me. Big purchases are discussed but generally we don’t monitor or question what each of us spends. It’s all one pot.
A bit morbid, but on a practical level, having a joint account also means that the surviving spouse still has access to the money.

Prior to having kids: both salaries went into our own accounts. We then put our share of bills and food shop into a joint account. This was proportionate to what we earnt so at one point I paid more then him. Joint savings account we both paid into. Not a set amount. Just what we each could spare. Spending money kept in our own accounts.
When we had kids I stopped working for 5 years and so contributed zero but husband put money in my account each month equal to maternity pay when that stopped.
When I returned to work it isn’t full time and husband said to forget paying the bills and use my salary for upping my pension, savings, spending and kids expenses. So I contribute zero to the bills and mortgage right now. When the kids are older and mortgage is less we will likely switch and I will go full time (I would like to concentrate on my career more when they are a bit older) and my husband is planning on quitting work and going self employed with a skulled hobby he can make money from but it will need another salary coming in for safety.
We work it out between us. We know what savings and money we each have and can both log into each other's accounts / ISAs / Premium Bonds if needed.

We have no dependant kids, and would do this a bit differently if we did.

We have individual overseas income and that is paid into a non-interest bearing joint account, and promptly transferred to our individual current accounts (this is a PITA, but our accounts are with a building society which doesn’t accept overseas payments). Our British pensions are paid into our individual accounts. We each transfer an amount proportionate to our income to an interest paying joint current account (with a different building society) to cover household costs including food, bills, house maintenance, the odd weekend away, birthdays, Christmas and so on, and also savings for holidays, replacing household appliances etc. We tend to review how much we each pay every April.

We have our own current accounts, out of which we pay for our own hobbies and interests, car running costs, each other’s birthday and Christmas presents, and every day personal costs - hair, gym, clothes and such.

In practice, this isn’t as rigid as it sounds. One of us will often pay for something for both of us, or for the other, and we don’t pay each other back, or keep track, because it’s all really just our money.

We have individual savings accounts, because no joint ISAs are allowed, but we know what’s in each others, because again, in practice, it’s our money.

Our accounts are spread over several banks, so your husband working at the bank where we hold any of them would have no clue about how we manage our finances.

We have a joint account into which we both transfer the same amount of money each month. All the bills come out of this account. Then we each have our own accounts and the money in this is ours to do with as we please.

Both our salaries go into one pot, we own house etc jointly. And all bills come from joint account. Each month we allocate an equal amount each for our own spending. I have only ever worked part time and looked after the kids, now that they've grown up I work full time but earn substantially less.

Since children, all joint

All money is pooled and “ours” any significant spend is discussed and agreed on. When we were scraping by “significant” was probably not very much at all.

We have similar cautious attitudes to spending which has made it easier.

Once you have DC it does need to be family money as it’s impossible to calculate the value of paid income versus unpaid work for the home & family.

We have separate accounts for logistical reasons (get cheap overdrafts for a couple weeks as our income goes up and down x2) and a joint account. Everything is joint money. Eg I buy what I like on my credit card and pay it off from joint account. Income disparity between the two of us £200k or so but neither has “more money” than the other as everything seen as a joint expense to be paid from joint income.

Salaries go into our own current accounts then we both transfer the same amount to our joint account to pay for bills, groceries etc. Has worked well for us.

Husband earns slightly more than me, we contribute equally to the joint account each month for mortgage, bills, food etc. The remainder of our monthly income we each spend as we choose to.

Everything into one account. Fully joint. Joint credit card - we spend on it without asking each other. It’s paid off every month. We’ve never considered the money we earn as our own per se. Just one pot.

We put the same amount into the joint account each month to cover the bills and joint purchases, and keep whatever we have left in our own accounts to spend as we please. We earn reasonably similar salary, although I now earn slightly higher. but even if one of us earned a lot more, as long as the other wasn't destitute I would expect the same split. I don't expect him to top me up any more than I would expect to top him up.

We are child-free though. If one of us had to sacrifice earnings to take care of children I would have agreed on a proportionate approach to the bills before having a baby.

Second marriage but even with first husband we had totally separate finances.

First husband - ran his own business and I wanted no part in joint finances as his business was failing and I didn't want my money at risk.

Now husband...house is mine with ironclad prenup. We split utility bills 50/50 but house costs are 100% on me so we dont have separate finances. Also supports the prenup as nothing is linked financially

Everything is joint here - our earnings have fluctuated enormously over the years but we're a team and in it together so it doesn't matter who brings what to the table, as long as we're both working equally hard (whether that's paid work or childcare/housework). One main pot, all income goes into here, then all bills and savings come out of there. Once those are done, we split the rest 50/50 and that's our personal spending money. I prefer to buy clothes because I love fashion, DH spends his on going out with his friends or the occasional weekend away. No arguments this way.

Everything is shared. All wages go into the joint account, then transferred out to our bills account, savings account etc. We get a set amount transferred into our personal accounts for "fun money", we used to both get the same but DH updated our budget recently so I get more as I'm running round with the kids all week and he's at work so I get through more than him.

This has remained unchanged throughout our marriage, he's worked full time the whole time but I've variously worked full time, part time or been a sahm. Doesn't change how our finances work.

Since we got property together (before we married) everything has gone into, and been paid from, a joint account that I manage. We have separate ISAs and also joint savings. Whose name the most savings are in varies depending on our tax position.

Big expenditure is discussed, small stuff we just buy as we have similar attitudes to wasting money (we dont do it).

Interesting survey https://yougov.co.uk/society/articles/50381-what-is-the-fairest-way-for-couples-to-split-household-bills

Both wages into joint account. Same amount of spending money each.

We pay these from a joint account and what we put in is a percentage of our wage each.

This. And worth saying that this kind of attitude makes divorce more likely, in which case there is no ‘yours and mine’ anyway. If l were the OP l’d be pointing that out to him.

Exactly the same.

Everything is joint. Current account, bills, savings, all in joint names, it has never been "his" and "her" money, it has always been ours. I do have one account in solely my name, my "fuck off fund" which DH is fully aware of. I keep it because of a previous terrible experience but do not think I will ever need it.

We don't have any joint accounts, but we view our money as one big pot split across various accounts. In practice DH earns far more than me. He pays all the mortgage and bills, transfers money into separate accounts for his spending and mine, and my pension and ISA. We do the majority of spending on a credit card which is cleared every month from DH's account. DH always pays when we go out as a family or a couple. My income that goes into my account is spent on personal spending, or certain direct debits which is easier for me to sort out, and transferred into investments in my name. We don't really discuss big purchases or splitting costs, we just trust that the other is sensible. I don't feel guilty about spending or feel the need to hide any purchases, and we never argue over money.

We are also one pot for everything. All for one and all that. We have been married 35 years.

We’ve only ever had 1 joint account . Both wages go in and I manage DD’s, bills, shopping etc. Hubby has always earned far more than me but it is seen as our money. He says that as I do far more in running the house it balances itself out.

From day one of our marriage all our money (income and outgoings) has been regarded as joint. We have a joint bank account but do have a few separate savings accounts to take advantage of tax rules, ISAs etc. DH has always earned considerably more than I do (I’m a teacher) and I didn’t earn at all for 8 years after having first child. DH did, during that time, once comment that he had a difficult work day ahead but would still rather go to work than have to stay at home with youngest DC who was going through a very difficult tantrumy phase!

We have never had set amounts for personal expenditure but I suppose we do discuss it with the other partner if one of us wants to spend money on something unusual /expensive. Basically we just both know the level of expenditure we can afford. There is no expectation that DH is entitled to spend more than me because he earns more. I really don’t think that has ever occurred to him. We've never fallen out about it.

The only person who has ever commented on the imbalance is my MIL! (DH told her not to be ridiculous.)

In my view, wanting to keep finances separate can only be because at least one partner is not 100% committed to the relationship or not 100% convinced it will last. Given the statistics on divorce I can sort of understand why this might objectively seem reasonable, but it does seem psychologically undermining of the relationship to me.