Can only marred couples answer please.

[Richesme]

After my last posts about my husband wanting to go halves in paying bills rent etc when I start working full time, I’ve sat down with him and even though we had a disagreement about going halves, he eventually said, you can keep all your money to yourself and do your own spendings or savings from there.

He doesn’t believe that couples either put all their money in one pot or go halves in proportionate to their wages. His works in the bank therefore tells me that he has many customers come in to open joint accounts and they go halves.

I want to find out as married couples, how do you guys manage your money, bills, rent, mortgage, spendings, savings and investments?

We get paid very different amounts into individual accounts. We keep the same amount for personal spending. We transfer the rest into joint account and savings account. When I was very part time I transferred a token amount.

Joint account. We pay a lump sum in each monthly to cover all bills. We agreed what we needed to go in monthly and what share we would both pay according to what we earn. Easy and works for us.

I feel like I’d need to, not necessarily that he’d ask. But then it would pee me off if he went and bought something for his car hobby and then we didn’t have enough to buy the shampoo that I like.

Salaries into own accounts, and a direct debit takes bill and housekeeping into the joint account (proportionate to income). What's left over is for spends. We find that way we don't dip into 'reserved' bill money for day to day spending.

Married 30 years. Dh works full time, I’ve worked part time since we had the kids. Both salaries go into the joint account, some goes into joint savings, but it’s all joint, neither has to ask the other’s “permission” for spending, but out of respect we’ll run run bigger purchases past the other in case they have spending plans.

It isn’t for everyone, but it worked for my parents and it works for us.

Everything comes out my husbands account which I have access too and I send him half my wages as he earns more than me. I then pay some of my bills and the childcare with my half of the wages that’s left.

Separate accounts here, we both like to keep track of our own money. Bills are split, we transfer money for shared things, works for us.

DH will just go out and spend, has his own extra payments for hobbies etc so joint money would go in a flash!

Both our wages go into one joint account, and all money is then spent from there, including any personal spending. It keeps us accountable and not wasting money on crap - we don’t exactly ask each other to spend money on non-essential things but anything over say £50 we would probably each check in with the other and say “ok if I spend £80 on X?”.

We also have joint savings and the children’s savings - I still have a separate current account only because it’s linked to the children’s accounts, I never actually use it other than to top up their cards.

Those who don’t have joint accounts because they are concerned with seeking approval for frivolous items or justifying spending, and are thus preferring to be potentially financially abused/ive - how that works is one pot, all bills out, remainder split 50/50 in to personal accounts for personal spends. So

person A earns £100
person B earns £200
joint pot £300
all shared expenses £250
person A own account £25
person B own account £25

so all fair and nothing needs to be justified

Joint account, everything comes in and out of there and we both have credit cards linked to it. We have individual ISAs and pensions because they can only be in one name but they are all part of our joint asset pool.
There is so much confusion on here when married couples divorce and think their finances are separate. I don’t get how you can live together, have children and quibble over who is buying milk that week.

Separate accounts, I pay the bills and mortgage, he pays childcare (nursery, so not cheap). Now our older one is in school he has money left over, so puts it in a jointly owned investment account (roboadvisor type thing). If I run short as I tend to do the holidays/extra spending, I can take money out of that account if needed, but I raraely ever do. It works well for saving.

Wages into one account, all bills come out of that account. Separate isa accounts. All holidays etc come out of the bank account too.

We still have our separate accounts and get paid into those accounts. We then have a joint account we transfer x into each month that we hope will cover all bills and some spends then top it up if needed in the month. When I was full time we put half half in even though he earns more money- why should he pay more than me because he's lucky enough to be paid more?
Now I'm part time after baby he puts more in but its about equal on percentage earned/ bill rate.
We both choose to buy things for the family out of our 'own' money sometimes but that's our choice depending on how things are & all individual bills and un necessary items are paid from our own accounts. Day to day things for the house or family things are paid from the joint account.

Both goes into a joint account, we have a separate, also joint one, that we put money into for holiday spends as and when possible. Any holidays are paid for monthly via dd. We don't have any 'investments' or isa's, as never earnt enough.

Separate accounts, always, at my insistence. Once bitten…
Agreed contribution from each of us each month for bills and household expenses, never an issue in 30 years. Maybe different in a second marriage, but I’ve always thought that buying my husband’s birthday and Christmas presents should come from my money, and vice versa. Maybe helped that we both worked full time and didn’t have kids together, but it’s also a throwback to my early youth when I believed the secret to a happy life was to be financially independent. No secrets - if either of us got a bonus or a windfall, we loved to treat each other, but I couldn’t bear to be questioned about how much I spent on a pound of mince or a handbag.

No joint account here. We just split costs according to owebership. Example - I pay all our medical insurance for him, I and daughter including the dog he pays the mortgage: I pay cleaner, dog walker, do food shopping, extras for our daughter,he pays all the utilities, car insurance, school fees. I suppose we split the money into essentials and extras. He does essentials and I do extras like holidays (although we jointly decide on where to go). We do share a car. London based doesn’t make sense to have 2. If I using it and it’s low on fuel I just fill up and he does the same! I don’t know why we do it this way. Legacy, I suppose, when we married we just kept things as they were…

I’ve been married for 36 years since I was 16. We have separate bank accounts but I don’t work. My husband gives me £2,500 a month, he’s given me the first flat we had which I rent out. He pays all the bills (the house is paid off) and he puts £60,000 a year into a pension for me. He has his own business and if I did work it would just be some part time shop job or something and would bring in a tiny amount compared to him.

We pay our bills as a proportion of our income. If either of our salaries change, we adjust accordingly. The rest is our own money to spend/save as we see fit but we mentally pool all our savings together.

We've always done half until very recently when DH started earning vastly more than he, so now we do it proportional to our earnings.

Ultimately it's what works you.

Lots of our married friends gave a joint account and EVERYTHING goes in there and they both just spend from it. Works for them but I can't think of anything worse!

We both put most of our wages into a joint account but each keeps the same amount for our own spending. All household bills come from joint account. Basically we believe all our money is joint no matter who is highest earner.

All the money into one joint account. All bills paid. We spend what we want but discuss purchases of big items, for instance I recently spent £2,500 on a hobby item and I "checked" with DH first - however he wouldn't have said no as he trusts that I wouldn't be frivolous. (yes it is an "outing" item! No its not a bike!)

We have separate accounts but share our money. I don't access his bank account online but I have access to his card as its in my wallet and I use mine or his card. We both know the bills but he pays them with our cash through DD.

From the month before we got married we opened one account and both wages go in there and aj bills come out there and both spend from there. When money was tighter we were both conscious over being careful and DH would let me know towards the end of the month if we had to be really careful. Money is much better now (we have been married well over 20 years).

It works for us. If we didn’t do this then paying proportional to wages is fairer than 50/50. Otherwise you are just room mates snd not partners.

Joint account, everything in, all earnings, all inheritance, regardless of who earns what. When we got married we viewed it as becoming one unit for financial and every other purpose.

Married 16 years. Both work full time, me employed him owns a business.. my wages fixed his obviously more flexible. Joint account for all bills, food, family expenses based on income so a rough % split. Wages paid into our own accounts and anything left after joint acct transfers is ours to do as we please with. Separate savings and we each manage our own pensions. He tends to cover big purchases.. cars, holidays etc.. I tend to cover more of daughters expenditure (clothes, sports, presents for friends etc..).. I cover extras for parties we host and pay towards holidays when I can.. He tops up the joint account if needed due to an unforeseen spend in a month. I see pros and cons to both.. but in my case my dad always instilled the need for me to be independent, have “leaving money”, and be able to buy a ridiculously expensive pair of shoes if I so desired without comment or criticism.. Having said that he and mum have been married for over 50 years so not because of a bad experience.. they also have separate finances and have never even had a joint account and both worked.