Can only marred couples answer please.

[Richesme]

After my last posts about my husband wanting to go halves in paying bills rent etc when I start working full time, I’ve sat down with him and even though we had a disagreement about going halves, he eventually said, you can keep all your money to yourself and do your own spendings or savings from there.

He doesn’t believe that couples either put all their money in one pot or go halves in proportionate to their wages. His works in the bank therefore tells me that he has many customers come in to open joint accounts and they go halves.

I want to find out as married couples, how do you guys manage your money, bills, rent, mortgage, spendings, savings and investments?

I earn 3 times my husband. All our money goes in one account. We both take out equal amounts of 'fun money' which we can spend or save or do whatever we like with and the other person cant judge it (i just bought a £200 pair of Dr Marten Boots for information on what is fun) everything else including joint savings comes out of joint account. My exh and I were far more separate and it caused nothing but issues and mistrust.

This. Although we have the same amount of disposable income- I tend to save more and have less weekly for treats etc but that's my choice. He earns more and I work part-time as we have 4 children. I paid about 40% of the bills he pays the rest.

He’s a very much higher earner. Our mortgage is paid off and he puts £x into a joint account for household use and the rest is his own. I have a separate account for my finances and simply take responsibility for the DC school and uni fees through another savings account.

Both of our wages get paid into a joint account from which all the bills go out of. We budget for savings each month which are automatically transferred into savings accounts (joint). We both have equal access to the account.

All goes in one pot. When we met we earned about the same, then he earned 5X what I did. We had kids and I earned nothing for a bit, now I earn what he used to and his income has dropped significantly (I bring in about 18x what he does).

Everything comes out of the pot and we spend what we need from it.

DH and I earn similar amounts (neither particularly big earners!). Our wages go into our personal current accounts and then we each have a standing order to pay a set amount (both pay the same) into our joint account after payday. We are mortgage free at the moment but all other bills, food shopping, bits for the house and things for DS including childcare and school clubs comes out of the joint account. Anything left in our personal current accounts is used as spending money, to do with as we each choose.
Then we each have a savings account for DS, and an ISA for our own personal savings. We will transfer money into the joint account from our individual savings for bigger one off expenses like holidays.
All works fine for us and we have never had a disagreement about money.

All money goes into one pot. There is no yours or mine, everything is seen as ours. We have been doing this for 15 years (married for 14). I became a SAHM later but have full access to our accounts. We have a joint account where our incomes go into. We usually leave more than enough money on that account for daily expenses/bills etc. We then decide together each month on how much to go into saving/investments. Most of those are under my name but we both have access to all. I am the one who does most of the spending/shopping and I can spend as I please, no questions asked. Both DH and I have been brought up by parents with similar set ups although we come from different countries and continents

What works for us is separate current accounts plus a joint into which we pay a set but equal amount each month to cover mortgage and bills and food etc.

When we started out, DH earned double what I did. Now I earn considerably more than him most of the time, except when he gets a good contract and his income goes way over mine.

We figure it all comes out in the wash!

All income goes into one joint account, and all payments come out of it. There's never any discussion or disagreement about who is paying for what, or who owes which percentage.

Simples.

Having separate current accounts into which income goes plus individual and savings/ investments and then using a joint account for household expenditure etc doesn’t mean that you can’t also discuss retirement and other future plans. We have both been present at discussions with financial advisors and specifically with pension advisors. I know more about the technicalities of my husband’s pensions than he does ! How would paying everything into a joint account then paying out make any difference to retirement finances? - that’s not where you would be building up savings for the future .

We each gave our own personal bank account for salaries and personal bills like mobile phones etc. we both have our own savings. We put a % of our salaries in the joint to cover joint bills and food shops.. we also have joint savings . The amount we put into the joint is proportionate to our earnings which ATM is very similar to each other

We have no separate money. Everything goes into one account and is shared money. Been like that since we got married and bought our home.

We have one shared account. Everything goes in there, everything comes out of there. We open up savings account etc in our own names as and when required to maximise allowances but still consider it joint money. We do have old personal current accounts but they are pretty much unused. We have always earned similar amounts though.

Of course it's depressing. The trend, I mean. Look at your last paragraph and tell me that's not depressing! You're broadly saying that we are financially screwed by being born female, and I agree. And that's what's depressing. To think that girls do as well or better than boys in education, and then to end up in this sexist situation anyway is just awful. Makes me wonder why we bother to kill ourselves getting an education and a career if we're just going to end up in a Fifties-type situation anyway. Everything you say is true, because men have barely given an inch, and I hate them for it. They still see children and home as women's work. Beneath them. Etc. That's why society is still so unequal, and it kills me that you can sometimes reach equality when you don't have kids, but the arrival of babies seems to bring the Fifties with it. After five decades of progress, we haven't progressed much at all when it comes down to brass tacks. Makes me spit feathers. Women mostly DON'T have a real choice when it comes to their careers and equality, because we earn a lot less mostly, and it doesn't make financial sense to pay for childcare, not take much home, and then miss out on your kids growing up for no financial benefit. You know all this, of course. Work commonly done by women, like nursing and primary-school teaching, is just not valued, and men still don't want to stay at home with the kids. The fact that such sex-driven inequalities persist as an entrenched part of our society is totally wrong imo.

We only have a joint account. All money goes into it. We have a joint savings account. We don’t have any individual accounts, except ISAs. We don’t divvy up how much we spend, nor do we have an “allowance” that we can each spend. Everything is joint.

No kids.

Half each leaves us both more than enough, though he earns 60% more.

After half the bills and outgoings for house/pets, it’s all separate. Though he will usually pay if we go out.

I think pooling everything sounds lovely if you have a good spouse whom you trust implicitly. Having seen the underbelly of marriage, both in my own marriage and in lovely friends who have also been left, I don't think I could ever trust someone that much. So I do envy those who have that trust. There must be wonderful peace of mind and a sense of purpose in sharing all your money.

Wages get paid into our own accounts. I transfer half the money for mortgage and main bills to DH who pays.

When we bought our house we were roughly earning the same. 10 years later, I earn roughly double DH and we’ve had two children.

Main bills and mortgage are still 50/50 but I’ve picked up extras as it’s fair - e.g. paid more of the nursery bills - and I’ll pick up fun spends for the family.

It’s not calculated proportionally to the last penny and we both think it’s fair but we have the mind set that it’s all ‘our’ money whichever account it’s in. But we are lucky to be financially stable which helps.

My experience is that couples who marry young tend to have joint finances, and couples who marry later with more complications - step children etc - are more likely to have separate accounts.

I'm currently a sahm so DH pays for everything, but before that he was earning 4x what I earned. We have a joint account but barely use it. Instead, we each took charge of particular bills. Mine were less, but I got energy (which obviously shot up massively a few years ago) and food, which is flexible depending on what I whether I want to buy lentils or steak. I'd say I was paying more than 1/4 of the bills, but not 1/2.

Our earnings go into separate accounts. We keep track of bills paid in a spreadsheet and true it up each month to make sure that I pay 60% and my wife 40%, which is in line with our earnings. I also then put a little extra aside each month into a joint saving account that we can then use for bigger purchases (new fridge etc etc)

Everything joint. Private pensions and ISAs in own names that come from shared pot (same contributions). We're a team!

Been married 15 years. Don't have a joint account. Probably never will.

He pays the mortgage, I pay the bills and the food shopping and save some into a non-joint savings account each month. Both contribute into our own pensions. Other stuff that needs paid for like stuff for the house, holidays etc one of us will pay but we don't keep track of who. No idea who pays out the most or least tbh.

Never once argued about money (have argued about pretty much everything else)

It does help though that we have very similar attitudes to money, earn practically the same and both earn decent money.

We keep entirely separate finances although we've been married forever. We have different attitudes to managing money, so it works best for us. All bills related to the house incl mortgage go out of my account - at the moment DH pays me 50% to cover his half as our salaries are quite similar, but at times hes paid a bigger share, at times I have as our salaries have varied over time. Whatever is left over in our accounts is our own to do with as we wish, we have our own debts and savings. We both spend about equally on food and stuff for the house, if there's an agreed big purchase we'll agree who is paying what towards it, if its something just one of us wants then that person funds it themselves. If one of us is feeling well off for some reason we will treat the other one to a present, or night out or weekend away.

I know a lot of people will think this is weird and a lot of faff, but we were older getting married and had both been burnt before financially in relationships, and it works for us.

We have our own accounts and no joint account. However they are all ‘family accounts’ which I manage. I move money around as I see fit to maximise interest and minimise tax. We both work but DH earns more than me, we are both pretty frugal spenders so it works well as we both have the same attitude to money.

Divorced but we did.

He gave me half towards mortgage and he paid council tax and water as i earnt more and gave me a poxy 20 quid towards shopping per week.

If i was married again i have a monzo for bills. I would get half of all family bills (not personal ones) paid from their wage to that account. So yes half