UC and boyfriend

[TheSpiritofDarkandLonelyWater]

I am on UC and have a boyfriend of over 2 years. We do not live together. We have separate households and bills etc.
But he stays at mine on the weekend. We eat out together and he pays. Sometimes we cook a meal at my house and we split the cost of the shopping.
I am a bit shook up from some other posts on here that said that I should not be on benefits if I am seeing him and he takes me out for a meal and stays over sometimes.
I can not find anything online about the rules about this.

Do I need to tell job centre about him? Am I committing fraud?

I mean I cant find anything about how many nights he is allowed to stay.

There is no set number of nights that someone can stay. there guidance on the Gov.uk as to what constitutes you needing to claim as a couple. If he is paying rent and council tax elsewhere, your finances are completely seperate etc there is no need to worry.

I think @Harriet9955 puts it correctly and admirably succinctly.

The full guidance for DWP Decision Makers is here:

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a7575a740f0b6397f35e96f/adme4.pdf

The recent thread on here concerned a couple who were together all week with him travelling to work from her place. That has the appearance of 'living together as a married couple'; you do not.

If he lives elsewhere, pays bills there then you’re fine. There is no set number of nights anymore, sure it used to be 3 max but that was a long time ago.

If somebody reported the OP to Universal Credit they would look at their circumstances based on actual facts.

As set out by OP they spend time together at the weekend as people in girlfriend/boyfriend type relationships do.

That's not living together as a couple.

The danger point is when the number of days creep up, you eat together every nigh and he starts leaving clothes their with you washing them.

Make sure he has no financial links to your address. As your OP states you're fine. My close friend fairly recently married but due to not wanting to blend families until her teen leaves for college, lives completely seperately from her DH. She receives a small amount of UC (she owns her house outright). Her motivation was not the UC and she was surprised she was still entitled.

In my experience they look into regular sleep overs too.
If he's staying at hers every weekend then they may look at if it's an arrangement to maximise her income whilst he protects his. Does he live in a houseshare/bedsit or does he have a flat/house.
The former can look like a cheap option whilst he has the luxury of her home all weekend - living off her tax payer covered rent and utilities.

@Gingernessy UC is a bit more pragmatic about modern life than was historically the case in Income Support or even Sup Ben if you go back to the eighties. Basically it's about facts and how the couple present, not least how they're seen by others.

Friend/former colleague of mine started their Civil Service career as a DHSS officer checking whether single female claimants had man stayongover.

That last paragraph is pretty judgemental, There's nothing in the OP from which you can draw the conclusion that she's paying rent and UC is paid to people in work as well as out of it.

Why do you say this please? Do you think I am trying to maximise my income and protect his? I am not sure what you mean by that.
He rents his own flat and lives on his own. I do not rent and dont claim the housing element of UC. My home is not taxpayer funded.
We only stay in my home in the evening as we go out in the day.

Thanks. He has none at all. Everything is totally separate. He pays for meals out and splits the cost if we make a meal together at mine but isnt that pretty normal for couples? I am not sure why that would not be allowed if I am on benefits.
I do know a couple who are married but live apart. Both are very disabled and live in adapted homes which would make things more difficult if they lived together.

We eat together a lot in the week but that is out and not at my house. He has never left clothing at mine. He does not even shower here as he lives very close to me anyway.

Unfortunately people do do this to "keep their benefits" they will say the partner stays over 3 times a week maximum and that they dont live together, when in fact they do, just not declared on the benefit claim.

In your case you have 2 seperate households and sets of bills so you should be fine

@TheSpiritofDarkandLonelyWater I think you're OK as you are.

The point about days creeping up was around the line being crossed over time rather than one day moving in togather.

I don't understand why people make judgemental remarks where 'netters are honestly seeking advice.

In fact I really wish they'd prohibit it and delete such posts.

There's no such concept as 'tax payer funded utilities'. Basic UC gives you £400/month to keep body and soul together fed, warm and clothed. Not remotely easy and certainly not the life of reilly.

UC is constructed in a way that means you're always better off working.

Neither are folks in any way privileged if they do get an HCE in their UC. The vagaries of bedroom tax and even more egregious LHA mean they're topping up out of other money.

Sleeping over at weekends and buying eachother meals out or cinema tickets does not constitute living together.

His bills and council tax are all going elsewhere, and presumably he does indeed have his own house.

You needn't say anything to the DWP about him.

If of course you do genuinely move in together then you need to say something. Not saying you should move in btw!

That you. That is what I am doing.
I was very confused by people saying that it does not matter if he has his own home and bills etc elsewhere. I was told that if he watches my TV then he could be seen as living at mine. This was on another thread.
I wish people would post links and not make things up.

He has a WFH job and does work at mine for a few hours sometimes to give him a change of scenery. I make him tea and lunch sometimes. Is that a problem too?

I hate that we are being judged as couple for normal things just because I am on UC.

Yes he has his own flat.
We have no plans to live together as we both very much need our own space.

That's cool. Yeah I'm sure it's totally fine. Everything is fully separate.

I commented on that thead and may have caused some anxiety. For context, my issues were in 2012 so things may have changed considerably since then. I have managed to find a copy of the letter I received so you can see why I made the decision to end my claim despite my partner having his own home and paying his own bills.

in your case, I think some would apply. Friends and family would see you as having a partner. You sometimes live together as he stays at your house. You also note that he works from yours sometimes as a change of scene, so technically you’re providing for him as this requires electricity, WiFi etc so you have the ability to provide for him.

BUT, this was 2012. I have no idea how it works now. But if you was me in 2012, I think you would have been viewed the same as me and therefore not entitled to claim.

We don't live together. He just stays the night sometimes.
He does not use electricity when he works here as he brings his fully charged laptop. I pay the same for internet whether he is here or not as it is a fixed price.

I can not close my claim as I would be left with no money at all apart from PIP that is not enough to pay bills with. He can not run his own house and mine too. We would have to split up and we dont want that.

I am on UC. You were on tax credits. I think the rules for them are very different anyway. I dont think anyone is on TC anymore.

Yes and that’s why I caveated it, this was a long time ago in tax credit era. My partner did not live with me either, I had no plans to move him in as I posted on the other thread. But this letter implied that it didn’t matter - if he stayed occasionally and other people perceived you to be a couple, you couldn’t claim.

I had to cancel my claim and was forced into financial hardship. I’m incredibly lucky that my partner was able to cover it or else i would have needed to leave my job. I’m really hoping the system isn’t still like this as it forces women to stay single, which isn’t right at all.

I just wanted to re-explain my situation in case I was one of those who caused you anxiety. It was a long time ago and things change. I would advise he doesn’t work at yours though. However you trim it up if he turns a light on, it’s using electricity. If you make him a drink, it’s using electricity. The WiFi doesn’t need to be switched on if you’re not using it, therefore saving electricity. You’re providing him a place to work, and therefore “providing” for him.

I think this explains current guidance OP:

https://www.advicenow.org.uk/get-help/benefits/living-partner-and-benefits#:~:text=You%20do%20not%20count%20as,count%20as%20living%20with%20you.

How would anyone know he works at mine? He could be just watching TV.
Are you saying he can not come here and turn a light on even if he is not working? I cant make him a cup of tea to have when we are on the sofa?
I am really confused and worried now.
I can not find anything online about not being allowed to make him a cup of tea.

My internet is on all the time. I was told it was not good to keep switching it off as your service provider thinks there is a problem.

Thanks for this. I think someone posted it on the other thread. It is very simple to understand. The gov site can be confusing at times especially the stuff aimed at decision makers.

I just wish people would not make up their own rules and state them as fact on here. It can cause a lot of anxiety.

if I had my time again, I’d be going by the advice id just posted. The letter I was sent was all I had to go on. No one told me I could prove he lived elsewhere. The other thread would have caused me anxiety too as people were saying you’re providing for him - hence me saying about the electricity. But having searched for the latest guidance I wouldn’t be worried at all. I suppose I’d just be cautious about telling anyone you’re on benefits. It can take just one person to inform the DWP that they think you’re living together, and that can halt your payments by the looks of things. I can only assume it rubs people up the wrong way if they think you’re claiming for something you’re not entitled to. Some people have too much time on their hands.