UC and boyfriend

[TheSpiritofDarkandLonelyWater]

I am on UC and have a boyfriend of over 2 years. We do not live together. We have separate households and bills etc.
But he stays at mine on the weekend. We eat out together and he pays. Sometimes we cook a meal at my house and we split the cost of the shopping.
I am a bit shook up from some other posts on here that said that I should not be on benefits if I am seeing him and he takes me out for a meal and stays over sometimes.
I can not find anything online about the rules about this.

Do I need to tell job centre about him? Am I committing fraud?

I said that because that was more less word for word what a work colleague was told when she was called in for an investigation last year. She lost her benefits as they deemed them a couple and took his income into account regardless of where he lived.
At no point did I claim that was your intention just that they might look into it as some people do use this as a lucrative benefit scam.
Unfortunately I think it can depend on who you get at the DWP too.

Sorry I just looked back on the other thread and you are right. You did say you didnt know you could send in bills and prove you had separate homes. I am sorry things got really difficult for you.
it seems things are different now thankfully.

I used to be a Welfare Rights Officer. You are not doing anything wrong. Your boyfriend has a separate address, his mail goes there, he pays bills for his place (flat, house, whatever).you are clearly NOT cohabiting.
In the nicest possible way, you seem to be listening more to the people who are telling you it is a problem than all those who tell you it isn't. Stop!
I can't put it more clearly, your don't need to inform DWP and him staying over at the weekend will not affect your UC claim. OK? 🙂

Reports are usually from a snitching neighbour so tell them as little about yourself as possible. Do not tell them you are on any kind of benefit. Its none of their business, Your friend needs to be able to establish that he lives elsewhere. That means he can show he is registered for council tax, utilities, rent/mortgage, doctor, tax, banking and so on. All these produce a paper trail which establish him as having a separate household. If he pays you anything get him to do so in cash so there is no trail. Thats the beauty of cash. Also be wary of how you depict yourselves on social media. Dont publish pctures of yourselves on a joint holiday and do on. Best to avoid social media if you can.

So theoretically I could split up with my partner and he moves out into a room in a shared house transferring all his bills there.
I then claim LCW UC and get an income based payment including rent that I don't get now because his earnings mean our household income is deemed too high.
Then after a couple of months we decide it was a mistake but we both enjoy our freedom to much to live together so we meet up and go out for dinner in the evening a few times week and he comes home for the weekend.
As he had his bills sent to his new address he can keep his earnings and I get UC to cover the household bills which are now in my name and no one will ever question it?

Thank you. You are right.
I am getting bad advice and judgement in here that has worried me. I thought this would not happen on the Money board.
I think because there is nothing online saying that I should not let my boyfriend use my internet or put lights on then someone on here tells me it is not allowed, I believe them. I can be too trusting and believe people too easily at times.
There is nothing online about it because it is not a problem.
Thanks again.

He doesn't even need to move out, just into another room in the same house.

Live separate lives like flat sharers, no shared food or money of course. No evidence of any form of family life.

DWP rules allow estranged couples, forced by circumstance to live under the same roof, to make single claims.

It happens. Happened a lot during the pandemic.

However posting some near nonsense about what you can do doesn't make right or give any certainty you'd stay under DWP radar.

Quite different to OP and her boyfriend.

Then its no wonder benefits need to be cut is it.

@Gingernessy there's some significant hoop jumping to get a single claim while living under the same roof. Bank statements for example would disclose if they've failed to separate their money.

The fact is it happens and the system has to deal with it.

Why should someone pay for their ex?
Split couples were stuck together during Covid as it was harder to be able to view and find other places to move to.

If you really want a definite answer why don't you put a message on your journal and ask them? Then at least you will know for sure where you stand.

If you do that you'll be very lucky to get an definitive answer and even less one that's definitively yeah you're OK.

More likley tell you that if if you think you might be living together put it in as a change of circs.

The last time I used my journal for advice it turned out it was wrong anyway.
I asked if it was ok to sell some of my old clothing that did not fit anymore. Stuff I have had for years and whoever replied on my journal told me that it was earnings and I would have to go into the job centre for an interview about self employment.

@TheSpiritofDarkandLonelyWater

And people wonder why Welfare Rights Advisers advise people to be chary of seeking advice from the UC helpline/Job Coaches.

I’ve been in the DWP since it was called the DHSS (over 35 years) and there has never been a set number of nights .
It’s entirely down to having separate households and any income you have.

For example. Both have separate rent and bills at separate addresses .. he takes you out for dinner and pays the bill. Or you split it .. all good.

you have separate addresses and pay rent /utilities.. however he is working and wants to help you out and gives you £50 a week.
You need to declare this as your benefit will need to be adjusted to take this out not account .

Basically : Does your household income increase by anything he does . ?

No he never gives me cash. He will offer to buy me things sometimes. Last week he offered to pay for some new jogging bottoms for me and also got me an adult colouring book I liked the look of. Sometimes we will cook together at my house and he will buy the meat for it.
I am sure he is allowed to buy me things like that without it affecting my benefits.

They shouldn't but there should be a time limit on it.
No wonder people scam the system if its never followed up

The problem with this is that it is a continuum not a binary thing.

At one end of the line is a couple on their first date. At the other end is a couple married for 25 years with 2 kids, a house, all their money is shared and they only have about 1.5 personalities between them. (This is me and my dh for info.)

Somewhere along this line a cut off is needed but relationships don’t follow a strict order. The couple on their first date could have a child together in 9 months (oops!) or not for 9 years. I know housemates who have started dating each other.

Judgement is needed and that makes it hard.

Yes I have heard of other people getting bad advice from them too hence not asking on my journal. When I had a work coach she wrongly told me that I would lose 63p in benefits for every £1 I made if I sold anything. I later found out there is a work allowance where you can earn so much before any money is stopped. And that you can sell your own second hand stuff without it affecting anything.
I dont know if it is bad training or what but it is worrying when you think they are the people we turn to for advice.

Like the lady on here and the other thread who was not told she could prove her boyfriend actually lived elsewhere and ended up having her money stopped and getting into debt.

He can afford to pay for you to eat out most days and yet you claim UC?
I have no words.

Yes I claim UC. He does not and I do not live with him. He is allowed to take me out for meals. That is what people in relationships do
What are we doing wrong?

No, you are not committing fraud. He would have to be staying at yours every night, havd letters addressed to him sent to yours, contributing to bills, that sort of thing to be considered living with you.
Are you worried about someone reporting you for fraud? Just dont let him keep anything of his at yours even a toothbrush if your worried

No I was worried due another thread on here in AIBU about someone who asking if anyone had been accused of living together when they were not. Someone told me on there that if my boyfriend turns on a light in my house then he is using my electricity so therefore I am supporting him and not needing benefits. It made me very anxious and worried that I am committing fraud in some way. But I feel a lot better hearing from people who actually worked in benefits on this thread.
I also said on there about my autism. Sometimes I do take things at face value and it is hard to tell online when people are serious or not.
I also hope it helps other people too as there are a lot of myths about especially about how many days someone can stay over.

He keeps a pair of boots here as sometimes he does some work in my garden for me as I really hate doing it lol

People who are paying taxes to fund UC can't afford to eat out almost every night.

They could easily be your boots!
I understand the anxiety of it all.
Im glad you are reassured.
The turning on the light thing is nonsense and the silly person who said it shouldn't have!