UC and boyfriend

[TheSpiritofDarkandLonelyWater]

I am on UC and have a boyfriend of over 2 years. We do not live together. We have separate households and bills etc.
But he stays at mine on the weekend. We eat out together and he pays. Sometimes we cook a meal at my house and we split the cost of the shopping.
I am a bit shook up from some other posts on here that said that I should not be on benefits if I am seeing him and he takes me out for a meal and stays over sometimes.
I can not find anything online about the rules about this.

Do I need to tell job centre about him? Am I committing fraud?

My boyfriend pays for us to eat out and he is not on UC. He works full time and does not claim anything.
So what am I doing wrong?
We eat out once a week. Or go to Greggs and have a sausage roll and tea.

3 nights a week so definitely weekend is fine. I know this due to my friend's daughter enquiring the same thing.

You said several times a week before - now its once.
Which is correct?

Take no notice. It's just shitty people not liking other people on UC.

Wetherspoons or Greggs. It is food in an establishment.
What are we doing wrong?
He could take me out the Ritz every evening and it wont matter as he is not on UC and it is costing the taxpayer nothing.

The number of meals out changed from several times to once a week I was asking you to clarify which it is.
As you've been told you're probably doing nothing wrong but you spend more time together and seem to go out together more often than working couples who do live together.
You're lucky you're allowed to make that choice.

Take absolutely no notice of anyone on here only the ones who say you are doing absolutely nothing wrong x you are allowed a life chick x
Some people have nothing better to do than worry the hell out of someone it's pathetic.

It is not luck. It is nothing to do with benefits. It is how our lives work together.
He pays for me. I do not use my UC to pay for meals out as I could not afford it. A once a week meal in Wetherspoons can be £25-£30. I could not afford that regularly. But he can. It is not costing the tax payer anything. He is contributing to the economy by buying us meals.
Some weeks it is once and some twice. There is a lovely pub that does indian food that we both like so he treats me to that too.
But as far as I am aware this is nothing to do with me claiming UC and not something I need to declare.
It is nothing to do with working couples who live together too.

You're lucky.
Not so long ago being in a couple was enough to mean your benefits would be cut. There are endless post on forums from people who've been told to live together or stop seeing each other as often as they are because they only thing they don't share is the household bills.

Where these posts please as I would like to see them.
Being honest I was worried I would have to split up with my boyfriend because I am on benefits.
As I said on the other thread we have no plans to live together. We both have autism and need our own spaces. It took me 6 months to let him come into my house for cup of tea and longer again to let him stay the night.
If we did live together it could be years before we would feel ready but we are happy how things are so see no point in changing anything.

Disability probably makes a difference - I think the posts I mean are people on income support. Search 'accused of benefit fraud' etc and some will pop up. Apologies I thought you were just claiming UC as a job seeker. If your not I expect the rules could be different for your circumstances.

Your relationship sounds lovely and you are doing nothing wrong. I’m so glad you’ve found each other. Now stop worrying and carry on as you are.

You asked for advice and your getting it. Stop being so defensive.

What's that to do with the price of fish?

OP seems to get UC 'cos they work but have low earnings. Should such folk not be allowed treats from their boyfriend?

Do you work at all, @TheSpiritofDarkandLonelyWater
Does your bf? I know you said you both have autism, but of course many people with autism do work as it's a spectrum.

I was asking for advice and not judgements.

I do not work. I am in the LCWRA for UC and also claim PIP. I have other issues besides autism. My boyfriend does work and does not claim anything.
I guess I am lucky in that me not working does not bother him. He has had long periods when he has been unable to work but thankfully he is now in a job where he has an understanding employer and they have been very good with his reasonable adjustments. I am very proud of him 😊

I do not work but I am still allowed treats anyway.

@TheSpiritofDarkandLonelyWater Ah I understand. Take it they are not looking at you as a 'Job Seeker' then?
Good to hear your bf has got a good employer who quite rightly makes the correct reasonable adjustments for him ❤️

No I have no work search requirements in the LCWRA group. When I was put in that group I was left alone. I think there is talk about some scheme for people in my group getting some advice about work but it will be voluntary.
Yes it is the longest he has held down a job. It is also to do with his special interest which really helps too. When we meet up he talks about it and is so animated.
Just tonight he has been filling in some forms about his reasonable adjustments. He does regular updates for them. I have not actually seen him for a couple of days. So the people on here thinking we are fraudulent and living together can think again.

@TheSpiritofDarkandLonelyWater You are doing nothing wrong. My brother is autistic and has also been classed as unable to work but that absolutely does not mean he has to live on bread and water for the rest of his life! He is an exceptional uncle to my three children and I am very proud of all he has achieved in his life (because achievements are not always work-based).
He wa actually the inspiration for me to do the job I do now - I left classroom teaching after many, many years last year and now work as an EOTAS Tutor supporting young people who cannot access mainstream education for many different reasons (diagnoses of autism, ADHD, SEMH needs, children in care etc).
The resilience I see in these young people every day is humbling and I will always champion them!
Of course you are allowed to be happy and be treated by your boyfriend!
I wish you all the best x

Thank you so much. Your comments have meant a lot 😊

In my experience, UC work coaches and other Jobcentre employees are often not well-trained and give completely the wrong advice!

That.

Exactly.

The one who told me that there would be no Housing Cost Element without a written agreement sticks in my mind.

A colleague whom I met at the time is a bit of an expert on 'informal tenancies'. .......

It is the weekend and I have not seen him today either. He wanted to go to a an event in a local park but I wont manage that so he went alone and I have not seen him today.