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Food shopping issue

63 replies

Daisy107 · 17/09/2025 20:06

This is so dam ridiculous!
My husband will only contribute £100 a month towards food shopping.he says £50 a week is acceptable for two adults....
We have joint account for all household bills and he likes us to have our own accounts for our own bills, petrol, car insurance, credit card etc etc and personal spending...and he earns £400 more than me a month...both work full time. Its really hard to stick to £50..if go over that leaves us less for following week or i have to put it on my credit card which I've been doing....to get us through....but he does moan that hecaint got enough snacks or he's getting fed up with same food etc but I do explain we need to increase it but he just says NO.....ideas please as its a constant argument..

OP posts:
PlanetOtter · 17/09/2025 20:07

He takes over food shopping, or divorce by the sounds of it.

Lilly11a · 17/09/2025 20:08

Give him £100 from you and ask him to do the shopping instead if he is so sure of the pricing

Overthebow · 17/09/2025 20:08

Tell him he is doing the food shop from now on and see how he gets on with £50 a week.

Doggymummar · 17/09/2025 20:09

Yeah, we are two and it's over £1000 a month. Let him do it if can do it so cheap

MidnightPatrol · 17/09/2025 20:14

Agree - make it his responsibility to do the shopping, and he will rapidly realise it’s unrealistic.

Doidontimmm · 17/09/2025 20:14

Just say you will do separate shopping from now on.

Househassles · 17/09/2025 20:44

DON'T contribute more than your half (if you're splitting 50/50) because by doing that you are just masking and softening the reality and that's a contributing factor to his not realizing and admitting how that the budget that he is insisting on is simply too low. And don't top up out of your own money - so the big weekly shop comes in at budget but that's not the whole amount spent - unless it's something only you will eat.

His doing the all shopping for a month (to start) is a good way to get him up to speed on current prices, but may be tricky if you are doing most of the cooking and meal planning. Another way might be to do the shopping online together - don't actually order unless you've got a free delivery offer, but see if he can even make the shopping list balance with the week's budget.

SereneCoralDog · 17/09/2025 22:27

Doggymummar · 17/09/2025 20:09

Yeah, we are two and it's over £1000 a month. Let him do it if can do it so cheap

Well that's a choice as well. You must be buying a huge amount of convenience or luxury items for that cost for 2.

SkinnyOatFlatWhiteForMePlease · 17/09/2025 22:31

Let him moan. Do not add your own funds to top up the shipping, use them to treat yourself of your wish, but not him.

Passthecake30 · 17/09/2025 22:44

Omg that’s ridiculous. Does he have no idea of food costs? Never step foot in a shop?

Beautifulsunflowers · 17/09/2025 22:50

Feed him on rice and beans for a month.

or as a pp suggested, do an online shop together.

when did he last step foot into a supermarket? Seems to me he is living in the 1980’s.

Womblingmerrily · 17/09/2025 23:05

Yeah - spend that £50 a week - which will mean the absolute basics and cheapest food possible - certainly no snacks.

See how he likes them apples (rock hard bitter granny smiths)

Spend your personal money on stuff you want - if he wants snacks then he can buy them out of his cash

padronpepper · 17/09/2025 23:10

Buy your own food.

Shoemadlady · 17/09/2025 23:12

Either you give him the money and tell him to do it or simply shop and cook for yourself. He won’t like it but he’s forcing your hand. Do not go into debt on a credit card cause he needs snacks the bloody man child. What a bloody turn off

spicetails · 17/09/2025 23:14

He does his own food shopping and cooking from now on

DarkLion · 17/09/2025 23:14

What an absoloute moron he is, and the audacity to complain he wants snacks… id be telling him where to go and certainly wouldn’t be cooking for him

ToKittyornottoKitty · 17/09/2025 23:18

He does the food shopping from now on, simple

Copperoliverbear · 17/09/2025 23:20

You pay him instead and tell him to shop.

MusicalCarbuncle · 17/09/2025 23:21

What?? Really?? Just tell him you aren’t doing joint shopping any more as you’re sick of subbing him. He buys and cooks his own food and snacks. You do yours.

I can also recommend divorce. Nothing less sexy than a tightwad who argues over the last digestive biscuit.

Bjorkdidit · 18/09/2025 07:14

Well he's as bad at maths as he is food shopping because £200 pm isn't even £50 a week, it's £46 pw averaged over the year.

Like everyone else has said, he's asking for the impossible - an interesting varied diet on a very basic budget plus 'snacks'. You could probably feed the pair of you on a rice, beans and eggs type diet, but unless you absolutely can't afford any more, you shouldn't have to do this.

Plus if you're being fair to both of you, you should end up with the same amount of personal spending money, not split bills 50/50 when he earns more, unless you're deliberately choosing to earn less without otherwise contributing to the household, eg by doing more cleaning, cooking, shopping, budgeting, laundry etc - out of interest how is this split?

But the fact that he refuses to be reasonable over grocery money and there's constant arguments suggest that he's possibly financially abusive - indirectly restricting your access to money by refusing to pay his fair share.

You could try telling him to be responsible for the grocery budget, but it needs to be for more than a few weeks, otherwise he'll spend less than the budget and you might not notice until you start running out of things like washing powder, toiletries, tea bags etc.

ApricotCheesecake · 18/09/2025 07:18

Doesn't he do any of the shopping and cooking OP?

MrsDamonS · 18/09/2025 07:23

Don't buy any extra food.
In fact. Stop shopping completely and let him do it.

Give him £75 a month, and say, he should be able to make it last.

SliceofTosst · 18/09/2025 07:33

Does he buy his own lunches and coffees during the week? If so, get him to add that up. Show him how much it adds up to so you can compare how much more you need for all other food and snacks.

He needs to do the shopping for a month though by the sounds of it, he thinks that solely your job. Not very attractive or fair. Tight git.

mamagogo1 · 18/09/2025 07:33

whilst I agree shopping has got more expensive, we don’t spend more than £50 unless we buy alcohol or have guests. This week since Saturday (just checked) I have spent £5.80 and dh has spent £27.40 them £11.68, we’ve eaten well including roast chicken, risotto, schnitzel, pasta, fajitas and duck breasts - fajitas admittedly used pork left over from last week’s roast and schnitzels were in freezer (£5 for 8). I did buy toilet rolls included in the larger shop. I do not buy snacks often, no crisps or biscuits and didn’t buy fruit this week because we have a tree full of apples. Did buy a sharing bar of chocolate. Careful ish planning is the key

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