Food shopping issue

[Daisy107]

This is so dam ridiculous!
My husband will only contribute £100 a month towards food shopping.he says £50 a week is acceptable for two adults....
We have joint account for all household bills and he likes us to have our own accounts for our own bills, petrol, car insurance, credit card etc etc and personal spending...and he earns £400 more than me a month...both work full time. Its really hard to stick to £50..if go over that leaves us less for following week or i have to put it on my credit card which I've been doing....to get us through....but he does moan that hecaint got enough snacks or he's getting fed up with same food etc but I do explain we need to increase it but he just says NO.....ideas please as its a constant argument..

Thanks everyone for all your responses.
Every week its a battle ! I've tried doing it every two weeks, even monthly but then the fresh food don't last or he eats everything in one week !
I try stay away from convience foods etc, but its hard..im coeliac too, unfortunately I don't own a cooker so have to cook everything in a airfryer or microwave....I do get the what load of crap have you bought, nothing to eat moans, I've told him if he moans one more time he does his own food shopping and I do mine....im waiting for him to say it this week !!
Just to a answer someone's question, we both work full-time hours, he just earns more than me...
Also to answer another question he takes in a packed lunch daily...
I have tried telling him toilet roll, washing powder, Deodrants etc etc comes out of this money , which he just does not get ..grrrrr

Why do you always do the food shopping?

My wife and I take turns to do it in alternate weeks. If he did that he would soon see that his £100 doesn't add up.

Who makes his packed lunch?

Make him do it for a month and then he will understand.

My DH has no concept of what shopping costs (because I do it because I want to). We both pay a percentage into the joint account based off our salaries to cover it. We had to up that recently to account for price increases. I asked him, he asked why, I showed in the receipt and he said ok. No issue. His initial why was because he admitted he has no idea what we spend every week on shopping and no idea what we need to get outside of obvious meals every week.

Give him £25 a week back and tell him to shop and cook for himself!

Stop feeding him as others have said - let him feed himself for 25

l just have to ask why are you with this man? He’s a knob.

Contrary to what a pp said when l lived with my then bf in the 1980’s we split everything proportionally and shared all cooking and shopping.

Sorry OP but you need to stop putting up with this shit. Let him moan this week and just say ok, come back with only shopping for you and £20 cash for him (minus £5 for household bits) and see how the dick gets on!!

Seriously, make him buy his own food and toiletries, he earns more than yoi but not only expects you to split everything 50/50 but also expects you to pay more towards the shopping to feed him and his greedy-pig mouth - this is bordering on financial abuse.

Just feed him beans on toast with his £50.

This is financial abuse by the way.

No one else seems to have mentioned it.

You split bills and he has more disposable income than you. Bills should be split proportionally.

Myself and my husband been together 37 years. Joint bank account from the beginning. All money goes into said account. I take care of bills, shopping etc. he came shopping a few times within the last few weeks and was flabbergasted at the rise in costs. Your husband needs to move with the world we are living in. Tell him to take over the task! Exhausting for you I am sure. Good luck and take care of yourself x

I agree this is financial abuse. He is pushing you into debt in order to afford to eat!

I budgeted £200 a month when my ex and I were together which was 20 years ago and there has been a vast amount of inflation since.

I think your decision to separate your food shopping would be good. Or another option would be to ask ChatGPT "make a meal plan for 2 people under £200 a month, gluten free, all meals including packed lunches and snacks with a shopping list from Tesco. Include all cleaning products and toiletries. Ensure all meals can be cooked in an air fryer or microwave." (sub tesco for whatever supermarket you shop at). Not for you to then follow this but just to show him what a £200 a month shopping plan actually looks like in real life.

I can’t believe I’m even reading this.

Very simply you stop buying or cooking food for him. I can’t understand why you have continued with this.

You should use your own money to buy and cook your own food. He does his. No crossover. Lock yours up if needs be.
Maybe he will learn something.

But I don’t understand why you are with him. This isn’t a respectful relationship. I’d be getting a divorce.

Stop buying food for him. If he asks where the food is say you spent £50 and that's just enough for one person. Show him the receipt.

Has he not looked online or in any shop recently?! He must be in severe denial.

You work full time hours.
Same as him.
So why does this task of planning sourcing organising and preparing food and household consumables fall solely to you?
Even thinking about it and the impossibility of the budget takes up your headspace.
How have you got into this situation.
It would be unacceptable in a flatshare.
So much the moreso in a marriage.
This is abusive.
It doesn't get better.

This.

I do the food shopping in our household and not once has DH ever questioned how much I have spent (not that he ever checks the bank account anyway!).

What a shit way to live.

What are you accepting this? It’s so clear that his behaviour is unacceptable.

Separate shopping ( or separate houses!!)

this is bordering on financial abuse

It certainly is.

We have joint account for all household bills and he likes us to have our own accounts for our own bills, petrol, car insurance, credit card etc etc and personal spending

With this set up, you both need to get your salaries paid into the joint account. This is important, because then instead of him deciding how much to put into the joint, you both decide how much you will each take out of it. You take out the same amount each, so that you both have the same to spend on cars, phones, and luxuries.

Then you (or he) pay for all shopping from the joint account.
Do you have a debit card for it?

Track the amount in the joint - if there is not enough in there to do the shop, the shop doesn't get done. Don't put it into overdraft.

I should add, if he refuses to agree to paying his salary into the joint, then he is not fit to be your husband, so divorce is the next step.

Simple tell him to do the food shop from now on. He will soon understand.

I read somewhere that a man who contributes financially may or may not love you but a man who won't contribute financially definately doesn't love you.

I couldn't stay with someone like this. Miserly behaviour is so unsexy. I'd threaten to LTB unless he paid the necessary amount.