Should I share half my pension?

[penpension]

I’m using fake figures to demonstrate a point but there goes.

I bring home £2k after deductions, which includes £200 contribution towards pension.

Unmarried but lifelong partner brings home £2L after deductions, which involved no pension contributions. (he has opted out so employer contributions only)

As we both bring home the same amount, we contribute equally to our joint household bills, mortgage etc.

Anything remaining after bills are paid is our own to do as we please. He is more of a saver and im
more of a spender which is fine as we can do as we like with our disposable income.

never had to worry about who pays what proportion of bills as we have always roughly brought home the same amount.

My question is around the £200 extra I am paying into my pension. In terms of trying to keep things equal, does that mean I should be sharing my pension 50/50 when I receive it? Or from an equitable perspective how should I be thinking about my pension pot in the context of bills and all I’ve written above?

I want to have a conversation with DP but at this stage I don’t actually know what I need to say.

Yes the hours I work are less than full time so I could do the school runs and be here after school etc. strictly speaking the children are now at an age where I could return to full time but I don’t want to or need to.

In terms of your stuff I do about 50%, children do 30% and DP does 20% - He is obviously out at work longer.

House stuff that should say

Are you saying that you'd both be happy to live the kind of lifestyle in retirement that is based on state pension only as that is likely to be what he can contribute?

Are you factoring in holidays, house maintenance, days out, eating out, entertainment etc?

He hasn't planned for his old age. You have. His loss.
Why make it yours?

Would it not be more like £100 to the tax man £50 to you and £50 to him?

and also if you’re considering pension are you considering other employee benefits? Car schemes, private health insurance, season ticket loans, gym memberships etc?

to me pension (and other items above - although maybe not gym memberships) should not be included in disposable income and calculations towards split of bills. It should be considered more of a tax you pay towards your future and both parties should be contributing the max into an employer pension as long as you’re not struggling financially and there’s no other debt / financial priority you’re working towards.

when he got his redundancy was there an interim he didn’t work? During that period did he contribute bills from it or did you pick up the slack and pay for everything as the earning ratio was 0:100. If the latter then he needs to share his redundancy. If he still contributed then I think it’s ok he kept it.

I think you’re possibly underestimating retirement funds. Or don’t want to have any fun in retirement perhaps. I reckon it’s more about going on holiday, visiting children and possible grandchildren. Going out for lunch or day trips, buying new clothes/furniture/tech. Replacing the boiler / car / roof. Whilst you can get by on the state pension when you’re not working most people want to actively enjoy retirement which needs more than the state pension.

@penpensionIf he dies without a will you get nothing. He might make a will and leave the house to your dc. As things stand you are better off if you marry as you have more legal protection as a wife.

My DH has substsntial pension savings. As his wife, so do I. What is your pension prediction and when can you get it? I find married couples don’t have these issues. We’ve shared everything. It’s what being committed to each is about. It’s not about two single people staying single.

I do want to be able to enjoy retirement, not sit in a chair all day.

I think it would help if you got some forecasts about your own pension income, e.g how does it look if you start drawing it down at 60 at a level high enough to support you til your state pension age, when you can draw less, and other forecasts.

And with facts and figures demonstrate that you will both be loving a very frugal life, or working until you drop, unless he stars serious pension investment now.

Also be clear that you won’t be working longer to compensate for his lack of pension.

He is being an idiot - he is throwing away the 20% the gvt give you on pension payments.

No: I think that ratio doesn’t work out very fair for you at all.

Work out his take home after he makes the same pension contribution as you. Then pay your bills pro rata to those amounts.

I bet that will work out better for you.

@penpension Well you enjoy yours and leave him in the chair all day! Is this a pension via work with an employer contribution too, or just a private pension with no employer input? He will want downsize I expect to release his money.

@RantzNotBantzCan I ask why you think it will be better the way you describe? Presumably because that way I get all my pension to myself and he also will end up with some form of pension for him too?

Are you sure his company are paying pension contributions? If you opt out, they do not have to contribute anything. Do you definitely know he has any pension at all? Your husband is a financial fool. I would be laying down an ultimatum here.

I’m in a similar situation where I have a LG defined benefit pension, and an avc and dp has very little saved up for his pension. He’s supported me when I’ve had less money, so I have no issues over sharing, I worry about how he will support himself if I go first, as the defined benefit pension will be the most notable share of income coming in.

If you live as if you are married, then surely the finances are joint? So say your joint monthly gross income is £6k, out of that you both should pay into your respective pensions, then both pay income tax and NI. What’s left is then paid into a joint account to pay all the bills. This is how me and my DHs income is treated. As equal. And I say this having been by far the highest earner all our married life.

It honestly sounds to me like he doesn't understand his pension. If he opted out then there is no legal minimum they need to pay, if he didn't opt out then the employer is paying 3% of qualifying earnings but he must also be contributing. So is check the actual position there. What is your pension forecasting as paying out? It may not be enough regardless so I'd consider trying to ramp up a little for both of you if possible. Are either of you likely to earn more between now and retirement?

Sorry just noticed you're using fake figures to illustrate so you could be working with 10x your numbers in which case ignore me on the income point! I would want to nail down his actual position though that still applies.

I may have misunderstood, but if he has opted out of his work place pension, he thinks that the employer is still paying in, it's just his contributions that are missing?

I don't think that's how it works. If you opt out, you lose employer contributions too, so there is NO pension. - Even more reason to opt back in if he thinks of himself as a saver.

All of this is pertinent. It sounds like you’ve Kept things totally separate when it benefitted him. So it should continue in this vein.

You have benefitted from splitting bills 50:50 when you’ve earned more but how much more was he bringing in during your maternity where you still paid 50%?

you say he’s a saver so presumably that means he has much greater savings than you yes? Otherwise why would you say yes a better saver?

Did you honestly split all child related costs 50:50 or did one of you tend to just cover many costs out if convenience?

He is an idiot for having no pension. Its free money.

You are "an idiot" for considering marriage.
At this point you've good through the danger zone. Large mortgage big child care bills and he's shown you he was happy to let you suffer when kids were small and hes a higher earner. On that basis its everyman
for himself.
There is NO way I'd marry at this point in time

I hope these numbers are fictional as 200pm isnt enough for you let alone him.
Id be looking to pick up hours if poss and put more in my pension and id insist he starts one asap

I’m starting to think I am mistaken on this point. Will need to check but perhaps they are not contributing anything.

Thank you for this. I have the same pension.

I am currently looking into AVC but also see they do APC and not sure which would be the best option for me. Did you consider both?

It’s a local government scheme so my understanding is that broadly I contribute 1/3 and the employer contributes 2/3 so for my £200, employer is contributing £400 - An approximate equivalent of £600 per month.

No, I wouldn't. He's a fool not to pay into his pension and claim the tax back but that is his decision as an adult.

I don't see why you should make up the shortfall for his bad decision making, even after you have pointed it out. If he feels he won't need the money (perhaps a family history of dying young) then the same applies - he won't need your pension.

I don’t think I had the option for an APC, does that buy additional years in the same scheme?
I’ve got a shared benefit AVC, comes off income before tax so saves both pension and NI for me, NI for my employer. With the AVC I could select a recipient if anything was to happen to me. As I’m on 40% tax and dp is 20%, so I think it’s more beneficial to invest in this way, if he’d get it regardless, plus if he had the money he’d probably save in an ISA rather than invest in a pension… hopefully someone won’t come on now and say I’m wrong!