Son not paying us back

[Ciderida]

Hi,

about 6 months ago my dh helped our son out by taking out a 0% finance deal to get him and his gf a few new appliances for their home, they couldn’t get the 0% themselves and they needed the goods. It works out to about £78 a month for 2 years and it was agreed that they would transfer the money in to our account each month- we never agreed to pay.

I admit that we should have taken more notice but we’ve realised that they haven’t paid anything back yet. I’ve addressed this and he’s apologised and said they were just disorganised, and forgot. DH has gone mad and has said he “considers it theft” which I feel is disproportionate- we could actually very easily afford to just pay it but I accept that wasn’t the deal.

is my DH being OTT?

@BunnyLakeWhether the OP and her DH can afford this debt isn’t the point. Their son asked his parents to assume this debt for him and agreed to repay them. Not repaying them has burdened them with his debt.

If he’d explained that he was having trouble finding the money every month, that would be different, they could’ve sorted something out.

Not necessarily true RE credit. If he has no credit history/ a smallish income then he may not be offered credit to begin with.

He’s apologised, just ask him to now set up a standing order.

Your DH and half MN are being OTT.

He forgot / was disorganised ( new house…baby) , you and DH didn’t even notice… see how easy it is to forget?

It took you six months to realise he hadn’t paid but yes, obviously son should pay

Are they struggling financially? You haven’t said

many many years ago i got in trouble with credit card debit and interest. My mum leant me the money to pay off the balance and lent me the money interest free. I absolutely made sure I paid her back every month

I don’t believe they are just disorganised they might be struggling you need to have a proper conversation and not get emotional or angry with them

If your son truly forget to pay because he is disorganised, fair enough. I assume he then immediately rectified his oversight by paying what was owed at that point without further delay?

We have 2 DCs, bith in their 49s now. DD sets up a direct debit to pay any loans back as agreed, often paying back sooner than we agreed. DS has never paid us back. We will only lend DS money in an emergency now, and only the minimum to get him out of the problem. They have to learn the consequences of their actions.

@Lincslady53 Are you going to ask him to pay you back? I’m curious as my FIL was always upfront with his children explaining that he was lending them his retirement savings so the money had to be repaid. Plus he’d set up a spreadsheet showing what was owed and their repayments.