Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

How difficult/easy is it to get an injunction/restraining order after sexual assault?

140 replies

assdoc · 18/05/2008 15:23

DD1 (13) was sexually assaulted by an older boy from school whilst travelling home from school. The boy was arrested, admitted to the offence, he was convicted and reprimanded by the police. I was confident that school would expell him and DD would be able to return to school and try to put it behind her and move on with her life.

I was stunned when last week the head master phoned to say he'd decided the boy could return to school and did so last Friday.

I'm doing everything I can think of to make the school/governors etc see sense and in the mean time DD is staying at home.

Would it be realistic to try to get an injunction with powers of arrest that would make it impossible for the boy to be in school with DD and if so how do I go about it?

DD is genuinely terrified of the boy and I feel like the school have totally turned their back on us in favour of DDs attacker who just happens to be the son of a GP and in the Gifted and Talented set.

Any suggestions?

OP posts:
CarGirl · 29/06/2008 18:06

I'm sorry angry for you that all this time on it's still not sorted out. I really can't get my head around the headteacher being more concerned with keeping the boy's parents happy than actually acting legally. So what powers do Governers have? The Headteacher has acted illegally - presumably you can go straight to the LEA about that - there must be guidelines over his suspension pending investigation etc etc.

Is he stupid enough to risk his job over this - is he related to the boy?

Original poster
assdoc · 02/07/2008 16:13

Oh My Good God! Got a letter this aft from school to say the head has decided it would be better for the boy to be educated in another school and as such he will not be returning! YIPEE! DD is free to return to school in a safe

DD is so excited. We were leaping up and down squealing.

After 2 months of serious stress and hard slog we finally go him to do the right thing.

OP posts:
peasoup · 02/07/2008 16:37

Congratulations!!! I've only just read this thread and very exciting to get to the bottom of it and find your latest post! I was feeling so sick with disgust reading your earlier posts that the Head was refusing to expel the boy. So happy for you that you've got the right outcome now.

CarGirl · 02/07/2008 19:20

yeah!!!!! Think the head was a little bit worried about his own neck there!!!!!

So pleased for your dd!

Piffle · 02/07/2008 19:26

Not read entire thread but this is fucking outrageous
if this boy had bullied or injured someone which required police involvement, few schools would retain that pupil!
this is unimagineabky cruel for your dd what about her rights?
surely all the kids know? The boy will get beaten up and hassled or even worse backslapped and cheered depending on the school.
I'd appeal and appeal, surely other parents must be told if a convicted sex offender is on the school premises?
Am in shock
I'm sorry you're dealing with this and good on you for keeping her at home.
will read rest of thread now x x x

Piffle · 02/07/2008 19:29

ish I'd read the thread now
so pleased for your dd
still leaves the question of him being around other girls though... I mean I'd want to know if that boy was at my childs school!

combustiblelemon · 02/07/2008 19:32

Excellent. So happy for you and your DD .

kama · 02/07/2008 19:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

JacobsPrincess · 02/07/2008 19:52

Well done you!!
Been lurking here in total shock at situation your family has been placed in. So SO glad that the offender has been removed and your dd is safe to return. You are an amazing woman. Well done.

TheProvincialLady · 02/07/2008 19:59

I am really glad for you and DD

BetsyBoop · 02/07/2008 20:06

oh assdoc that is fab news

I'm just so pleased for your DD & you that you got the right outcome in the end.

Me thinks that although the board of governors couldn't "overrule" the head's original decision they could certainly lean heavily on him to change his mind (as I think the board or governors hire & fire the heads?), especially bearing in mind that his initial exclusion action was illegal.

Well done you for sticking it out. I hope your DD can settle back into school without any further hassle.

I'm still angry though that it took all this to get the just & moral result. I'm sure you could all have done without the added stress of all this on top of the stress from dealing with the assault on your DD.

Original poster
assdoc · 02/07/2008 20:59

Yay and again YAY! We're still celebrating.

I just re-read my post from this afternoon where I said DD would be returning to school in a safe . Clearly she won't be in a re-enforced steel box, but she will be in a safe environment without the terror of her attacker being around the next corner.

I was so excited at opening the letter that I was posting on here, making phone calls and jumping up and down with DD all at the same time.

A huge thank you to everyone who's offered us help and support over the last few weeks. Many of your suggestions have been instrumental in us getting things resolved.

OP posts:
mygirllollipop · 03/07/2008 10:59

Assdoc - so glad things are sorted now thanks to your determination. I am sure you were doing what any mother would but I still think you should feel extremely proud of yourself. Your daughter has a strong woman to look up to.
Well done mumsnetters who gave advice which helped this happen.
Sorry to be gushy I am just so pleased for you.

Original poster
assdoc · 03/07/2008 12:11

Thanks.

OP posts:
Twinkie1 · 03/07/2008 12:26

My god - this is the first time I have even read this thread and until the end I was going to drive up to you and hand out flyers to the rest of the parents informing them that there was a sex offender at their child's school and to beware!

Glad I don;t have to because I live quite a way south but mostly glad because the right thing was eventually done - I am so glad that your daughter is returning to be educated in a safe environment.

Are you still considering legal action against thew school or the head for his dithering????

Original poster
assdoc · 03/07/2008 16:38

I'm glad you don't have to drive all the way up here to hand out flyers too twinkie! Think of the fuel cost Kind of you to offer tho.

I'm not inclined to persue legal action against the school now. It would be a lenghthy, stressful process and for now I'm just so glad to have it resolved. I don't think I could take any more stress for a while.

OP posts:
zoggs · 03/07/2008 16:57

Congratulations. You've got what should have happened in the first place and you shouldn't have had to fight like this for it but I'm so pleased for you. Hope the Head has learned from this and I hope other Heads take heed. Most of all, hope your DD can start to put this behind her now.

lurkingdad · 03/07/2008 20:16

I've just read this right through and pleased that it had the right ending, but wonder if it should be left where it is? The school should surely have a policy for handling these situations? As a school governor myself we have approved a number of policies, would it be appropriate for you to insist that the policies are updated and checked for legal compliance etc and that there is something put in the procedure that allows for dispute resolution to easily go higher than the head?

You had a terrible time of this, but if it has happened previously it could happen again and the head should be locked in to a procedure that he has to follow to deal with this appropriately and correctly that he can't wriggle out of. He shouldn't be allowed to complacently think that because he eventually gave you want you wanted that he can forget the incident and put it down to you rather than him failing to act correctly.

Maybe an FOI request as to how many such incidents have happened in the past X years and what the resulting punishment in each case was might make him squirm a bit, could you put the FOI request to the LEA rather than the school? then the LEA would have to follow their procedures to answer the question rather than the schools.

Saymyname · 03/07/2008 20:23

Shocking thread!

Well done assdoc, so sorry for you that you had to go through all of this, and so sorry for your DD too. She has a wonderful Mum though.

Original poster
assdoc · 03/07/2008 21:31

Thanks saymyname. All these compliments are making me squirm. I'm so not used to them!

Lurkingdad, I do see your point. The Governors are still meeting tomorrow under the supervision of a legal advisor from the LEA. The LEA have been involved all along but have had to allow proper procedure to be followed, i.e. letting the Governors deal with it in the first instance.

Although the head has now done the right thing I doubt very much if he will be allowed to forget about this. We already know that due to our involvement, Social Care Direct are altering several of their policies in order to prevent such atrocious handling in future. Our local Youth Offending Team have written to us today to say that they will also be reviewing their policies for future cases and implementing new methods of dealing with victims and their families after they looked at how they'd neglected DDs needs in this case. They identified that although they have around 40 workers employed to deal with the offender, only one member of staff is employed to care for the victim and she just happened to be on annual leave at the crucial time when we needed her here.

I've heard on the QT that some of the staff are hailing us as their heroes for tackling the head as he has a reputation for being a pig headed bully.

I look forward to receiving a letter from the governors detailing their findings following tomorrows meeting.

OP posts:
BetsyBoop · 04/07/2008 15:52

the more I hear about it assdoc, I'm convinced the governors told the head deal with it properly or we'll deal with you It will be interesting to see what comes out in their report.

I just still can't understand HOW the head thought what he'd done was okay, how would he feel if it were his daughter?

Ok so I don't want the boy to be thrown in jail & the key thrown away, but he's done wrong & he has to deal with the consequences.

Original poster
assdoc · 04/07/2008 19:32

I agree Betsy. I can just picture them saying to him "Mr Head, you flaming great idiot. What the hell were you thinking. Sort it out. TODAY. Or else.

I hope there are consequences for the head. I hope no other family is ever put through this hell again. I assume the reason he thought he would get away with it is the fact that earlier this year another girl was assaulted by a pupil and the end result was the boy back in school and the girl moved elsewhere.

Perhaps now a clear message is being sent to the boys that it will be dealt with properly (all be it eventually)it's less likely to happen again.

The meeting we had with them was on the Thursday and the heads letter was sent out on Monday so it didn't take much deliberation did it.

OP posts:
funbags · 04/07/2008 22:41

just read this about an incident in Bristol. Shocked and depressed. Its gotten really out of hand. Just feel for the victim.

funbags · 04/07/2008 22:45

actually that last link will go out of date tomorrowthis link should work better.

Original poster
assdoc · 04/07/2008 22:54

How very, very sad. Poor little boy. Striking similarities between the heads response in this case and DDs.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread