Feeling a little lost working out the best thing to do and where to go for advice.
Do to my own previous health conditions and circumstances I live in a HA secure tenancy flat as a single parent with 1 DS living with me. DS is in year 10. I now work full time from home.
My parents still live in my childhood home some distance away, which is in need of repairs (upstairs is inefficiently heated off a coal fire back boiler, no double glazing!). The whole house needs re-wiring, part of the roof needs work and it will likely need bathroom adaptations in the near future if they stay. They both now have health conditions and are only just coping. Neither of them want to move and want to stay where they are until it becomes impossible. We are also in agreement that they are beyond the point of moving now as they would likely quickly deteriorate. They want me to look at moving in with them to provide care, and so that when one of them dies the other is not alone and between me and the remaining parent we could afford to run the house between us, which neither of them would be able to do on their own. Without me there, the death of either one looks to be really quite traumatic for the remaining one as neither would cope on their own. There is an amount of equity left in the property (approx £70,000) which could be released to make improvements.
This isn't a huge budget for the total amount of work needed to the whole property, but I do think we could look at converting their double garage and another room into a self contained annexe that would be suitable and safe for them for the remainder of their time. I could make do in the old part of the house, in the same way they have been doing for the past couple of decades.
Obviously this would likely be the best decision for them, but I am worried about me and DS and the upheaval to our lives and whether I'm sleepwalking into disaster. Primarily as he will be in his exam year from September, so a move of school would not be great timing. The benefit to him would be that with no care costs through me providing care, means he and I would likely inherit at some stage. I worry about his future as it is, as I have nothing to pass on to him and neither does his father. Is this grabby? Or a situation that works fairly for everyone?
Is it awful of me to consider him moving in with his dad (who is a good dad and has him 50:50 anyway) and I just see him at weekends until he finishes school and can decide what he wants to do next? I'm running myself ragged as it is with keep going up and down to my parents and trying to work full time as it is, so I'm not sure I'd be any less available to him than I am now tbh.
I've no clue either about home ownership, inheritance, care costs etc if either of my parents need nursing care. I need help thinking this all through and proper advice, but not sure where to go - I'm assuming a financial adviser wouldn't be interested in helping as there is no money to invest in anything right now, other than back into the house?
Any thoughts/suggestions greatly appreciated. Just want to find the right thing to do for everyone.