look will all you women just sort out your bloody money

[Cappuccino]

endless threads about money

endless threads about people's dh's 'giving' them money for teh children/ spending the family money on twattage

will you just please all get it sorted DO IT MY WAY

all money that comes into house is joint money

you both have same amount of money to spend on fun - put in a separate account one for you one for him

you can buy books/ make-up/ Bacardi Breezers he can go to karate/ football matches/ buy magazines about bikes

when your fun budget is done you do not spend holiday fund/ children's clothes money/ food money/ take out loans in secret

JUST GET IT SORTED AND ALL THE WORLD WILL LIVE IN HARMONY FOREVER MORE

I think I'm slowly morphing into Xenia, actually.....

sep accounts here as well. A bit tricky when we have to work out splitting the bills, but I don't want to worry about spending money on X or berating DH for spending money on Y. We both work though, which would make a difference.

yes but mi you are not a SAHM

you are not waiting for your dp to come home and 'give' you some money for teh housekeeping

you are not left with child benefit and tax credits while he pisses about with a full-time wage

some women are and it is shameful

I don't really give a stuff about what other people do, as long as everyone's happy with the arrangement.

Yes, I fully agree on that. Utterly.

I've never been in the position of having to ask dh for money as I've always worked at least p/t, but even then he earns 8 times my salary so obv. he shoulders the majority of the outgoings, and spends virtually nothing on himself.

I think I'd get really depressed if I wasn't making a financial contribution but that's just me and I know it works for lots of SAHMs

Really mumblechum? sahms should do what? Wear old sacks? Turn tricks to earn pinmoney? Eh?

Actually, that's not true. I am surprised at what some people say they are happy about.

Phew. Was questioning whether I should be on MN for a moment there.

but cappucino surely that depends on what the SAHM is "expected" to pay for out of the CB and TC?

Before I worked I only had those 2 coming into my account while H had his salary going into his. He paid for ALL of the bills, I did the grocery shopping and the rest of the money I spent on whatever I wanted to.

His "pissing" about with a full time wage was all the bills and mortgage, plus DC clothes, plus days out for the family.............

did you read that thread I linked to FAQ?

did you read the football one?

this is the twattage of which I am speaking

Message withdrawn

oh naff off cod we are not here for your amusement

oh no sir

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lol

I have just read StrangeTown's thread and would like to thank her sincerely for 'Capp's fluffy financial communism'

it has a title

so what would you think Capuccino if a woman that shared a joint account with her DP took out her "spending" money and saved it elsewhere.

Then one month when finances were tight and there was virtually nothing left in the kitty for "spending" money for them to split out of the joint account she decided to spend her savings on a shopping trip to NYC?? (or something equally frivilous)??

dp earns loads
I am sahm
we share it all
This works

I would think, FAQ, that their spending money was too high

you sit down adn work out how much you need for bills/ food/ kids clothes/ savings etc etc

only then do you get fun budget

god ours is tiny, really

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why would their spending money be too high?

She could have saved it up for months/years

(my mum did this once, she saved about £1000 without my dad knowing over a long period of time and then spent the lot in one go )

oh if you are talking years then fair enough, she can piss off with it

obv if she has saved hers, and he has spent his, he has had his fun, now she gets hers

people who save up should not be penalised

what I meant was if there was regularly not enough money and they were still getting spending money it should be cut down

say you were £50 overdrawn every monht and you were both getting £55; you should both get £30 for a bit

The trouble with the fun thing is that I have more fun than DH. Or rather, I have frivolous fun, and he gets his kicks from dull stuff like mending the car. Which is both too worthy and to expensive not to be paid for jointly. Especially when it's my car he's mending...

So lipsticks and brake pads are funded from the joint account...

but surely if finances were tight (as they were ) and they couldn't have afforded to buy DVD's, have a family holiday etc she shouldn't have been buggering off spending all that money on herself - should she???

She should have put her family first and not "kept" it for herself???

Or does it only work that way round if it's the father doing it.???

but the father has already spent his money FAQ

if they both have moneyleft of course they can pool it

but if he has drunk his/ is wearing it in clothes/ has bought 101 Led Zeppelin albums he has already had his fun, and she should have hers

dh and I have totally different approaches to money (when we first met I used to throw my bank statements in the bin - mostly unopened ) He has a spreadsheet - I have a running total in my head to the nearest ten For us to pool our cash and use one account would be a recipe for diaster. So I have mine and pay for childcare, he has his and pays mortgage and bills. Our credit cards are our own responsibilities. We both pay for food and clothes. I tend to pay for dcs shoes but dh has done so in the past as needed. I get custody of the child benefit and tax credit When I wasn't working dh transferred a mutually agreed amount into my bank. When I was working and he wasn't I did the same. This works for us - nothing is hidden but we don't need to endlessly analyse who has to pay for what and when. I have lost count of the people who look disapproving when they hear we don't use a joint account. If I ever want to argue endlessly with dh about money - I'll open one!

Finding this idea of a fun fund rather strange. Dh earns way more than me (at the minute - am job hunting) and pays the mortgage/ bills from his account. I get a small amount from my work from home and the TC and CB and pay for food, toiletries, kids clothes and school stuff.

If either of us have anything left over after that then we spend it on what it needs spending on. DH needs work clothes most of the time, but as I have an interview we're paying for a haircut and new top for me this mth. Neither of us have a problem with this and it's just a matter of priorities - what's the sense in me having a equal share of the fun fund if I dont need it and DH does? That would be vice versa as well. Find all this sharing of incomes very strange indeed.