Grandparents inheritance row

[Parker28]

Hi, both my grandparents recently passed away and we've just sold the house. In the will they said they wanted £20,000 to go to each of the four grandkids and their two children to split what's left. This is around £80,000 for both their children. My dad is already quite financially stable, but my auntie has around £150,000 left to pay on her mortgage. She is also very impulsive and struggles to manage money (she'd already spent her retirement lump sum on luxury family holidays a year before receiving it). She's now suggested that my dad gives her his inheritance so she can pay off all her mortgage. My dad has agreed as long as it's done in writing that he will get the money back once her MIL passes away and she gets the inheritance from her. The issue is she isn't sure how much she'll be getting from the MIL and if the MIL goes in a care home, a substantial amount of it could be spent. I'm absolutely devastated that this might be happening. My grandparents were hardworking people, and I feel like my auntie is taking advantage of my dad because he's such a nice helpful guy. My dad is very careful with money, I told him on the phone today that as we lost my mum quite suddenly a few years ago he should spend it and enjoy life. But I'm also aware that whatever is left will be mine. Is it selfish that I don't want my future (hopefully far away) inheritance to be spent by my auntie? But I also don't want my dad to feel he can't afford to do things because my auntie has taken the money. I'm so shocked and frustrated that this may happen and don't know what to do. I've asked my dad to really think about what he's doing. He's normally so careful with money (despite being financially stable) but I just want him now to be able to enjoy life and do whatever he wants without thinking about the financial side of things

That’s a good update.

On a side note - you can take a 30% tax free lump sum from your pension so if your auntie has done this and wasted it - that’s on her.

Im glad your dad has seen sence. It’s hard when you’re grieving to see sence - she caught him at a low ebb.

Im glad you were there to offer advice and make him see sense.

Ah yes - I didn't mean to suggest otherwise, I am probably older than your Dad, but my dearest wish when I die is that I can leave something to my 2 children - this is more important to me that holidays or travel. I want my hard work to contribute to making their life more comfortable. I am sure they feel the same way you do, and let's face it, if I need care, then it could all go on that anyway, but I can live in hope.

In his shoes I would say “That doesn’t feel a comfortable arrangement for me, it seems the best plan is to discharge our parents estate as they wished and for you to carry on as usual until you get your next expected inheritance. You will make a big dent in your mortgage with your share, and save money in the long run. Love xxx”

And I would tell your Dad that in effect what he is doing us giving away your future inheritance.. because sure as eggs is eggs IF his sister gets another chunk of money, she will have some other big holiday debt that she has built up or other reasons not to pay it back.

She is a financial colander.

Gosh, your aunt has got cheek! I hope your dad doesn’t hand it over as it'll be the last he sees of it.
Surely if your aunt is set to inherit from elsewhere she can use that to pay off the mortgage. You’re not unreasonable to feel upset about this OP.

Sorry OP, missed your updates.

I do not think you are ‘greedy’. It isn’t easy to watch someone good hearted being treated selfishly by your aunt, and I am glad your Dad has put his foot down.

Her response in not agreeing a plan and talking about more holidays tells the whole story.

couldnt say it better myself

Thank God common sense won the day. Honestly people are awful.

I’ll hopefully be leaving money to my nephews and it worries me the vultures will be circling when the time comes.

Your dad would be utterly mad to give your aunt money. She is reckless with it. He will never see it again. She is a massive CF. I can’t even imagine asking that. She is taking advantage of him and he should not discuss his financial situation with other family members.

If he did give her the money it would wreck the family down the line as she would never give it back. Your dad needs to open his eyes and say a firm no.

It wouldn’t surprise me if your aunt makes up something to try and guilt your dad to handing over the money.

You are not grabby. It would be your inheritance if your dad doesn’t use it and wants you to have it. And so what? Of course parents want to make sure their children are ok. Please keep an eye on your dad as I am sure your aunt will try something on. She is CF of the highest order.

Your Dad needs that money, none of us can know what major medical issues may crop up down the line.

He will never see that money again if reckless Aunt gets her hands on it.

I’d just warn your Dad that if he needed care, the council wouldn’t take his gifts to sister as reasonable. . They’d class him as still having the cash.