Funerals - no-one can pay

[sosaad]

Very sadly my lovely mother in law died. Then, a few days later, suddenly, but not too unexpectedly, my father in law died.

My parents in law were very private people and never discussed finances. My husband (my MiL's son and stepson of FiL) has had chronic mental health problems and is now in a care home. Any close relatives, including me, live on a hand to mouth financial basis. Therefore, the problem of how we pay for two funerals has raised questions.

From what I understand, if no-one can pay for a funeral, then the local authority will provide a basic funeral. I also know that my husband would be able to claim for funeral expenses (we live separately), but I do not think that would cover two funerals or a joint one. I work, but have no savings. I am also not able to take out a loan.

My parents in law have a large house which I think they own fully, and this also has some land. However, no-one knows if a will was made or where it is. It is all a bit of a mess.

I am trying to sort things out, but could do with a little advice about how to sort out a funeral of some kind.

Thanks

Is your DH their only child?

If there is a house and land, the funeral expenses are likely to be taken from the parents estate I would think. I know the LA will pay for basic funerals but it’s likely they would request repayment once the property has sold.

See a funeral director and ask if they are able to draw the funeral costs from the estate.

Yes you can pay for the funeral from the estate. You need a solicitor I think. Can anyone go and have Aine though the house to see if there's an address book or any info about a possible solicitor?

Is there no money in their bank accounts to pay for it? Are there wills? Who is taking charge of sorting probate etc?

Funeral expenses will come from the sale of the house. You need to speak to a solicitor who will guide you through will/no will etc and how final bills such as phone, electric are all paid.

Yes the estate will pay for the funeral if you are saying they own it. I think a soliciter is needed to get this in motion

In the event that MIL's estate possibly passed intestate to her husband, who is his next of kin? You wouldnt want to incur any expense yourself (solicitor) if it is all down to a different beneficiary, not your DH. Hopefully there are wills in place though, which will guide what happens next.

Also, what country were they in? (eg England, Scotland, etc.)

Is there a person who will be dealing with the estate?

Can they get access to the house and get NI number, bank account details.

They need to use the Tell Us Once service, which notifies government departments etc. They are really nice and easy to use.

They also need to call the bank, the bereavement department. They can talk you through what needs to be done. Assuming there is money in the bank, they can also release money to pay the funeral expenses when needed, ahead of full probate being granted.

Just to add to what others have shared - my uncle died this year, he also had mental health problems, alcohol addiction etc. I arranged a direct cremation for him which cost about £900 (in London) and used the small amount of money in his account, he died interstate (no will) and even though I'm not next of kin (he was estranged from all of the rest of his family) - I was able to arrange everything and the bank were happy to provide me with the money for the cremation when I provided them with the invoice.

If you’re in the UK., make an appointment to visit your local Citizen's Advice. They’ll have someone who can help you start the ball rolling and advise on procedures, benefits etc.

Sorry to hear about all this OP.

Did they have Wills?
Who is the Executor?
Did either of them have other children?

If they owned property and had bank accounts the executors of a will are responsible. If there is no will you apply for probate and the website is here for the .gov site

Applying for probate: If there is not a will - GOV.UK

In the mean time Funeral Directors are the one to approach to help in the first instance, however be ware that whoever is organising signs the paperwork and are liable if the estate wont or cant pay etc

The other thing to add is: you really don't need to take this on yourself.
You can choose to NOT do it, and it will save you a world of hassle.

Hello,

Thank you for these really helpful replies. DH is my MiL's only child. FiL is his stepfather and he had no children (apart from his step-son, DH).

MiL mentioned a will, and I am going to the property with another relative to search for this to see who is executor etc.

I am in England. Neither parent in law was religious, so I think direct cremation may be closer to their desired wishes.

I will post updates as soon as we know if there is a will.

Unfortunately, the fact that DHL was FIL's step son changes things (unless he legally adopted him?), as if he didn't leave a will, then the laws of Intestacy apply.

But yes, finding a will for MIL and FIL will be a key thing to do.

Incidentally, I too did a direct cremation very recently for a family member. Not everyone agreed with the choice, but it was 100% the right choice for me and my family and I've not regretted that one bit.

Sorry,that autocorrected to DHL and I can't edit.

The fact they died days apart is very important. Usually your DH wouldn’t get much if anything (first £322,00 of MIL’s to her husband then his heirs which does not include a step child get the lot) of the estate so would have no right to access funds for a funeral.

However, there is a 28 day survivorship rule on intestacy which means FIL did not inherit from his wife (unless the deaths were more than 28 days apart), in which case your DH gets his mother’s estate. FIL’s still goes to whoever is next in line for him, though.

https://www.afglaw.co.uk/intestacy-rules-simply-explained/#:~:text=There%20is%20a%20'survivorship%20period,there%20is%20no%20survivorship%20period.

Obviously if there are wills, what is in the will takes effect.

This means that it looks like your DH does inherit. If you have any sort of POA for him, you can act on his behalf to access bank accounts or commit to paying for the funeral from the sale of the house. Otherwise he will need to do it.

The local authority may fund a funeral but if there are assets in the estate, they will expect to be paid back. It may be they won’t fund it in the first place - hopefully citizens advice would know.

Thank you so much for this update. My husband's stepfather died several days after his mother. A will was mentioned some years ago, so I hope we can find it, just to prevent any confusion.

Husband was not adopted.

The will, if you find one, often contains no information about funeral wishes - mine doesn't. Look for funeral plans too, again they may no have. Also look for any indication of a regularly used solicitors - you could then call and ask them.

But assuming they have an estate, that will almost always pay for the funeral, often you will use money in their bank account to pay for it in advance of any property being sold. Speak to the funeral directors about timing of payment.

Sorry for your loss.

@sosaad going to the house to search for a will is a sensible first step.

For £3 you can down load the Land Register which sets out ownership of the property. https://www.gov.uk/search-property-information-land-registry

I would also suggest you register for the free property alert service.https://www.gov.uk/guidance/property-alert

Do you have access to the house? You need to look for a will and also details of who they have bank accounts with. It could be that they actually have plenty of money to pay for funerals.

You need to establish if they were joint or single accounts and deal with the bank's bereavement teams if it's too complex for in branch staff - there may be issues around you not being next of kin, lack of wills etc etc. but in my experience they are very helpful.

Powers of Attorney cease on death, so contrary to previous poster, you cannot use them to access funds. However, if you can find bank / savings statements, a solicitor will be able to access funds for funeral costs and other estate purposes (bills etc).

It's very difficult to deal with this stuff in the immediate aftermath of a death. Condolences to you and your DH.

I'm so sorry for your loss, it's so much in one go...

You may be able to get a grant to help with funeral costs from the Gov, you can check your eligibility here x

www.gov.uk/funeral-payments/eligibility

Im pretty sure if you have a death certificate then the bank of the deceased person will release their funds to pay the funeral directors.