Funerals - no-one can pay

[sosaad]

Very sadly my lovely mother in law died. Then, a few days later, suddenly, but not too unexpectedly, my father in law died.

My parents in law were very private people and never discussed finances. My husband (my MiL's son and stepson of FiL) has had chronic mental health problems and is now in a care home. Any close relatives, including me, live on a hand to mouth financial basis. Therefore, the problem of how we pay for two funerals has raised questions.

From what I understand, if no-one can pay for a funeral, then the local authority will provide a basic funeral. I also know that my husband would be able to claim for funeral expenses (we live separately), but I do not think that would cover two funerals or a joint one. I work, but have no savings. I am also not able to take out a loan.

My parents in law have a large house which I think they own fully, and this also has some land. However, no-one knows if a will was made or where it is. It is all a bit of a mess.

I am trying to sort things out, but could do with a little advice about how to sort out a funeral of some kind.

Thanks

The ‘tell us once’ service which someone has already mentioned may be helpful

https://www.gov.uk/after-a-death/organisations-you-need-to-contact-and-tell-us-once

I'm glad you found the wills @sosaad but because his mother predeceased his stepfather does this mean that your dh will get nothing from his mother's possessions including her home ?

If there are assets then the LA won't pay.
It's also the most g
Horrid experience imaginable.

The funeral directors will simply wait until the assets are released.

The FIL will states if mil predeceased fil, it all goes to OPs husband.

No, if mum died first hers goes to her son. If stepdad died first it goes to his wife (who then leaves it to her son). So it all goes to OPs DH either way, I think?

I'm glad OP's dh will inherit.

@sosaad "After a great deal of searching (it is amazing how much paper we collect in half a lifetime), we found two wills. They seem to be reverse wills"

All in all, that is very good news indeed. Especially what you say about both wills leaving everything to your DH:

"... the estate goes to my husband absolutely"

Problem solved, he gets everything.

Although the only problem now is that this will affect things if he/you are currently entitled to any means tested benefits.

The value of the estate will be counted when it is finally passed to him and this will likely affect his entitlement to these benefits until such time time as all the money is spent.

If you or he are entitled to these sort of means tested benefits then you need to be aware that there are certain things that you are allowed to spend the money on to reduce your capital (eg essential repairs or improvements to your home) and other similar things.

I would strongly suggest that you get advice about how to spend this money so that it is allowed if you or he are in receipt of these benefits.

@another2cats thank you for this advice. My husband is currently in a care home and the LA pay for a large proportion of his care. I should imagine that if/when he inherits a considerable sum, he may have to pay all his fees, if he is still in the home at that time. I do not receive any benefits.

At the moment, I am not thinking so far ahead. I have found out that the trust company named on the will sold its acquisitions to another company about seven years ago. Therefore, I need to contact the new company tomorrow to check that they are the executors.

My father in law's niece has registered the deaths, and I need to see if enough money can be released from FiLs account to pay for the funeral (I am sure there is enough there).

Once the funeral is over, then I expect there will be a long, protracted period in which the estate is settled. My husband is considering living more independently, so it could be that his legacy may help him to do that, and also leave something for our sons.

The bank will allow you to pay for the funeral out of a bank account even if it is frozen. `I think you should speak to a funeral director as they will have experience of this situation and be able to advise you of the cheapest option and any help you might be able to receive.

Thank you @Rocknrollstar . I have the contact numbers for our local funeral director, and I know from FiL's niece that both parties requested cremation. I should imagine, once the ball gets rolling, the immediate tasks can be completed quickly.

This thread is very helpful. I really appreciate the support and advice.

"My husband is considering living more independently, so it could be that his legacy may help him to do that"

If your husband is currently living in a care home then the entire value of his parents estate will be used to pay for the fees until he has no more than £23,350 left (in England, higher figures in Wales or Scotland).

If he is considering living with support outside of a care home then that will make a lot of difference.

If he either moves into their home or it is sold to buy him a more appropriate property to live in then, once he moves out of the care home and into that property the value of the house is no longer counted.

That means that he could continue receiving care in his own home without having to pay for it.

If the property needs adapting for his needs then he can spend money doing that as well. He would also likely be eligible for a Disabled Facilities Grant of up to £30k.

Although this may seem a long way away, you should perhaps start thinking about things now and how he will transition from living in a care home to living independently with support. For two reasons, firstly to make sure the transition works for your DH but secondly also to minimise the amount of money that he has to pay for his care.

I have contacted the company that is now the executor of the wills. They will meet me at the property and collect all relevant paperwork and see to the valuation etc. I am also in the process of arranging the funerals with the help of my FiL's niece. We will arrange the funeral, and the bank should release money from my parent in laws' account to settle the bill.

That's good news @sosaad that you are getting it all sorted.
Sorry for your loss

While you are sorting this out, have you considered yourself and your husband granting each other power of attorney (if he is in a fit state to do so). It costs around £500 and means you can each make financial decisions on the other's behalf and access their information while you're both alive. It may really help you out if your husband is better now but could have another MH crisis in future.

Call your in Laws bank and speak to yes probate department at the bank and if there are savings they will arrange to release sufficient funds to pay for the funeral directly to the company arranging the funeral .
They will not arrange funds to pay for the wake just the funeral . You can add flowers and order of service to the funeral bill if you need to.