Inheritance/unreliable husband

[PrincessLeia21]

I have a question- here’s the background.
Im an only child. My mother died recently and my dad has had some health issues and wants to sort out his will.
i would be the sole beneficiary of a property and contents valued at about £800k conservatively.
my husband cheated a year or so ago. We have stayed together but I am not convinced we will long term.
rhe thought of me inheriting this property and having to give half to him is not appealing.
we have consulted a lawyer who suggested a trust but once I’ve inherited, in order to sell the property for my benefit, the trust will have to be dissolved- and the proceeds would once again be considered marital assets in the case of divorce.
has anyone else experienced this? Any ideas to get round it? Or will I have to divorce now in order to protect myself?

No answers sorry, but watching as I am in a similar situation (although my husband has not physically cheated). My mother is also worried about it. I called a solicitor and asked if we could do a post-nuptial agreement, where we would both waive any rights to each other's inheritances. The problem is that he would have to agree to consult another solicitor separately to ensure he was not being coerced. I believe it is not really legally binding either.

God, get divorced right now! Seriously. Start first thing in the morning!

well you could get him to sign an agreement now, like a post nup agreeing that the inheritance is yours. If he refuses, then that just shows what kind of person he is even more than the cheating. So leave him.

Start divorce proceedings asap and hope that you are through the process before you would inherit.

I thought that inheritance could be kept from the marital pot if it had been kept separate from your oh and not been used for any family costs (obviously I am not a lawyer!)

Would there be enough money in the marital pot to house you both equally at the moment?
Honestly, I think it’s a pretty nasty thing to do and if a man were on here talking about divorcing his wife so she doesn’t get his inheritance people would be up in arms.
If you want to divorce him because of his behaviour, then crack on.

Why did the lawyer suggest a trust if it doesn’t solve your problem?

A few thoughts from me OP.

1. Will you need all of that money in your lifetime (whether you divorce or not)? If not, and you have kids, consider asking your dad to give some of it straight to your children to bypass both you and your husband.
2. Is your husband likely to inherit or has he already done so, from his own parents? What’s that likely size?
3. Inheritence is often outside of the marital pot for divorce proceedings - especially if recent - but it will be taken into account when deciding what % each of you should get from the pot. So for example if a court looks at the situation and decides that without the inheritance you would need 60% of the pot to ensure a standard of living for your children that is reasonable taking into account both parties’ contribution to the marriage, they may say that with the inheritance you are only entitled to 50% (or less) because you already have ££££. So in that scenario he wouldn’t get the inheritance but he would get more of the pot than he would have done if the inheritance didn’t exist.

I would start the divorce process now. Or at least in the next year or so, if there’s things you need to get in place.

Often recent inheritances don’t go into the pot. But sometimes they do.

And sometimes it can mean walking away with less joint assets. Because you have the ability to house yourself.

Give over. He cheated on her! Protecting her assets is not "nasty", is she meant to give him £400k out of the goodness of her heart after he has been unfaithful?

I agree you should divorce asap OP, and consider a trust in the meantime.

He cheated but she chose to stay with him. As far as the courts are concerned, this is irrelevant. I didn’t say he should have half the inheritance. The courts would make sure both parties have enough of the marital assets to house themselves equally which may mean he gets some of it.

Whatever you do, don’t talk to your husband about your father’s inheritance plans. For what is worth he should be knowing the money will go to the RSPCA and you are just getting a token amount otherwise he will fight his corner (as you would)

I take it your dad is elderly and your husband is aware of his health problems. Your husband did the dirty on you so I don’t think it’s beyond the realm’s of possibility to assume he’ll have a good idea about your significant inheritance. It’s a horrible situation. I think the only thing is to start the divorce now, get the best legal team you can afford, and hope for the best.

Have your dad set up a discretionary trust in his will and he could stipulate then what it should be used for e.g. for the benefit of DC or for you on retirement or something. This may be included in the divorce settlement though depending on circumstances of the trust. It would not be given to your DH but it would be potentially offset against other marital assets.
So if you have marital assets worth 300k then they may pretty much go all to DH but you keep the inheritance in totality. There does need to be some care in how it's set up though.
As PP said if you are in 2 minds about divorcing him then now is the time to do it because wills of the living won't be taken into account

Divorce him now

Get your dad to speak to his solicitor/will writer about a bloodline trust. I've never had one myself but I believe they protect the inheritance for the direct bloodline (children/grandchildren) and safe from non-blood relatives, eg ex-spouses.

You could also do a deed of variation when you inherit and use that to give some of your inheritance to your children.

He might be hanging in there because he knows the inheritance is imminent, OP. He’s shown that he’s not a trustworthy person. Reading the replies from knowledgeable people on this thread, I’d be starting the divorce process this week. Find a good solicitor.

I don’t think it’s ’nasty’ at all to want to protect myself and my financial future. I’ve discussed it with husband who says he wants us to remain married and he has no intention of going after my inheritance if we should divorce. But after what has happened, I want to be prudent and protect myself.
to have to give him the best part of half a million quid after he has cheated would stick in the craw rather a lot!
DD is almost 18 and DS 15 so they will be leaving home soon anyway. There is not enough in any marital pot to house us both separately and we seem to have reached an ‘entente cordiale’ post affair.
on divorce I would get nothing from my husband as he doesn’t have anything.

I would start divorce proceedings. I divorced after I had inherited a large sum. I kept 70% of all assets, ex H had 30% and the inheritance was included. The courts want to make sure that you both have a decent place to live if you have children. You would have to have an awful lot of assets already to ensure that that happened without touching the inheritance

So what do you want @PrincessLeia21 ? Do you want to divorce him?

Divorce now. You only have things to lose if you delay and nothing to gain. Although inheritance can be outside the marital pot it will always be taken into consideration on a needs basis. If you have the inheritance you won't 'need' so he could potentially get 100% of the marital assets.

My H got all the inheritance - I kept the marital home and he bought another.

He can sign a legally binding post nuptial agreement waiving his right to your inheritance. It’s either that or divorce , and that is what you should clearly set out to him.
what he says now about your money is irrelevant, people turn when confronted with a divorce

It seems to me that if you are thinking this way and posting about it here your marriage is already dead in the water. Whatever 'entente cordiale' you may currently have, you don't trust him. You don't see yourself spending the rest of your life with him. On that basis, I would speak to a solicitor and get things going with the divorce.

If he has nothing you must divorce now. The court won't allow you to take £800k and leave him with nothing. Do you rent?