4 Questions: What’s your household income? What’s your monthly mortgage cost? How many kids do you have? How financially comfortable are you?

[OrangeCarrot]

1. What’s your household income?
2. What’s your monthly mortgage payment?
3. How many children do you have?
4. How financially comfortable are you?

I’m in need of some perspective. I’m planning for marriage/kids/house purchase over the next 2 years. I’ve been planning for this time for 10 years now and my partner and I have lived frugally through our 20s to get to this point.

I want to make sensible life choices so was hoping to learn from others that are perhaps a little older and more experienced. I was hoping these questions may give me an insight into how big a mortgage we should get and still have a good quality of life.

I’m happy to answer this.

Our household income is £53,400 per annum.

The mortgage is £488 a month

We have two children, one now 18 one 14.

We are very comfortable and don’t go without.

When the children were younger we survived on DHs £17, 600 plus tax credits of £420 every 4 weeks. The mortgage was the £598. We managed but had few treats and only one car. It was important to me to be a SAHM.

Household income, DH £60k, me £28k (pt).

Mortgage cost £0 (paid off last year), was £750 as we were overpaying.

Children: 22, 19, 15

Are we comfortable: yes, now, though it hasn’t always been like this.

Household income 135k, 2 DC, 1 in nursery, 1 in primary school, mortgage 1300pm

2 incomes one 80K, one 27k &1100 a month a mortgage and no due to past debts we aren’t comfortable but get by.

Income: £175000
Mortgage: £2200
Children: 4
Yes we are comfortable.

Income: £140k
Mortgage : £800 but (io) and we ended to find £250k in the next 10 year's.
Children: 17 & 20

Income 135k, mortgage £2530, 2 kids one at uni who we support. Yes we are comfortable and manage to save a decent amount each month too

Thanks everyone this is really helpful.

I should have asked what people’s joint monthly take homes were instead of household income as the split and considerations of pension/student loan can have a big impact.

Income around 110/120k
mortgage 1100 a month
No children
able to save but we still have student loans

As something who is older and more experienced, and has been in a huge variety of financial circumstances, my advice would be to not take any notice of others, or make comparisons, but concentrate on making the best of your circumstances, as everyone's finances and priorities are different.

If you're used to living frugally, hopefully you'll know you can do this within reason and still have a nice lifestyle, ie you'll know what you value and what you don't, also how to get things cheaper by shopping around, using deals, taking your own food and drink rather than buying while out, being wary about committing to expensive 'lifestyle' choices like cars on finance, endless grooming and beauty treatments, high end gym memberships, lots of travel that's not properly budgeted for etc etc. So keep doing that.

The financial flowchart can help you get your thoughts in order and the Meaningful Money podcast discussed this in detail in one of it's seasons (plus the rest of the back catalogue/new content is excellent for managing your finances

https://ukpersonal.finance/flowchart/

https://meaningfulmoney.tv/category/podcast/season-25-finance-os/

Also the Moneysaving Expert weekly email and advice on anything is also really useful.

But as far as your house/kids/marriage plans go, I would think carefully before spending a lot on a wedding, tens of thousands on a single giant party is potentially not a very wise use of money.

Don't necessarily stretch yourself with what house you can afford, as things could get difficult when you're in 'the childcare years' and you're having to pay for a big mortgage and childcare fees, possibly on a reduced part time income.

And also, spend less than you earn and try to save a decent amount each month (above money you'd need to put aside for variations in spending on things like insurance, car costs, holidays, Christmas etc) as it will give you so much peace of mind and security if later you lose an income or need/want to make big changes like moving house/starting a business.

Income: £140K per year
Mortgage: £800 per month with 5 years left on it
Kids: 1
We would be comfortable but paying school fees and will pay uni too so won't feel comfortable until she has graduated

Income- not entirely sure but over £100k and less than £150k
Mortgage free
1 Child in year 8 at private school
Yes we are financially comfortable
We both work, me pt and DH FT but due to fortunate family circumstances have various income streams

Take home £4.5K a month (equal earners)
Mortgage £1100
Nursery fees for 1 child £1400

Before Liz Truss our mortgage was £750 and we had no kids so we were very comfortable.

On maternity leave we dropped to just under £3K a month, which we could afford with no childcare bills but we wouldn't have been able to afford any unpaid maternity (dropping to £2.25K) so I had to return full time after the 39 weeks.

Now, it depends what you consider comfortable. We don't have to meal plan and worry about food on the table. We can eat meat and fresh produce, we don't have to worry about paying the heating bills this winter. So compared to many we are comfortable. We're not paycheck to paycheck. We do however have a project house so it has significantly slowed progress with getting the house finished.

Comfortable yes? But not the luxuries of being able to stay home longer with my baby, no holidays, car is 7yo bought second hand etc.

Household income is £64k (split £48k/£16k) plus child benefit. It's pretty much £4500 pcm take home.

Mortgage is £600 which includes a small overpayment. We have a lot of time left on it as only mid thirties.

We have 4 kids, eldest is 13 and youngest is 5.

To my mind we are incredibly comfortable and have a really very lovely life. The kids do lots of activities and we wouldn't blink at needing a new washing machine or needing to pay for a school residential. We're probably not Mumsnet comfortable though, we don't have lots of meals out, our cars are 12 years old and our fanciest holiday since the kids has been 5 nights in Disneyland Paris.

Excellent advice.

I’m considering stretching things for the “dream house”. But I’m worried about sacrificing on number of kids/financial comfort.

I grew up in a small house on a large estate. I’ve always dreamed of having a rural cottage type house. I’m in a position where I could stretch to this but not sure it’s the sensible option…

Around 28k pa
MF
4 DC
Yes

@OrangeCarrot rural cottage only works with DC if there is a school nearby, in any case you will end up being taxi service for your DC and will be constantly jumping in the car for everything: work, groceries, schools, play dates, baby groups, nursery, doctor, hospital. activities eg cinema etc.

Monthly income: 5775
Mortgage: 720 (only had it two years)
Children: 1 (aged 6)
Are we comfortable? We save £2000 a month for us and put £155 in premium bonds for DD. When I had DD we literally lived hand to mouth with nothing in savings in my mum's spare room. I feel like I've won the lottery. We've been to Disney and New York this year. Two things I couldn't have imagined a few years ago.

1, £15,000ish per annum, varies sometimes
2, £0
3, 1 aged 1 and one on the way
4, we could do with more income, unsurprisingly. But manage to save a small amount as our bills for the house are only £350 and we have 0 debt.

I really don't know how we do it before anyone asks. Life is a bit restrictive though and we haven't been on holiday, even in the uk for 2 years.

I live comfortably but largely because I don't overstretch for bigger and better things. Our home is fine, our car is fine, our phones are fine - do the job and more than adequate for our needs but not posh and swish or the latest and greatest model.

£31k single parent to 1 teen
£0 technically as parents loaned me the money outright from an inheritance but £200 pm repaying parents £300 paying off renovations. Total debt around £30k now but that was planned and paid off comfortably along with other bills.

I have a few city breaks in the UK a year, don't tend to go on overseas holidays but could probably cover it for a couple of weeks.

That’s amazing, I’m really happy for you.

Your mortgage seems a sensible amount. Do you think your life would be worse if you had a bigger house and mortgage and less disposable income?

I don’t know where to draw the line with the amount to borrow for a house.

You’re right to bring this up. My partner grew up in the rural village that we want to move to. The primary is very good and there’s a bus to the secondary.

My partner’s mum lives in the village and can help with child care and some transport but we will have to do a lot of taxi-ing in the future. My partner says they didn’t mind growing up in a small village as they had lots of friends there and a siblings…

Income: 30k (1865 per month)
Solo parent (widowed)
Mortgage: 535
Kids: 2 (age 14 & 9)
Comfortable: no

Everyone above me sounds pretty lucky.

Income: £285k-£320k / year depending on bonuses
Mortgage: £3,200/month
Three primary/nursery age DC
Comfortable: yes. But you wouldn’t guess at our income to look at us.

I know it’s a cliche but you need to look wider. There are health issues current and possible, there are cost of living where are you live, there is amount of support you can get from relatives and how flexible your workplace is for parents.
Don’t underestimate these little things e.g do you need to travel to see relatives and is it expensive, do you have relatives near by who can look after LO at least if you have GP appointment, do you have a pet or a hobby ( both add cost)
My figures will tell you nothing when I have a child with additional needs but at the same time my friend has a child with the same additional needs and family near by and it’s completely different story.