4 Questions: What’s your household income? What’s your monthly mortgage cost? How many kids do you have? How financially comfortable are you?

[OrangeCarrot]

1. What’s your household income?
2. What’s your monthly mortgage payment?
3. How many children do you have?
4. How financially comfortable are you?

I’m in need of some perspective. I’m planning for marriage/kids/house purchase over the next 2 years. I’ve been planning for this time for 10 years now and my partner and I have lived frugally through our 20s to get to this point.

I want to make sensible life choices so was hoping to learn from others that are perhaps a little older and more experienced. I was hoping these questions may give me an insight into how big a mortgage we should get and still have a good quality of life.

Lucky? No.
DH works his arse off to earn 100K and I only had 3 months of maternity leave so that I didn't impact my CV. Mid 40s I am now getting the benefit of that but with a DH who works 12hrs per day plus evening, sat on his laptop on holidays and even Xmas day, having panic attacks and is odds on for a breakdown or heart attack no, I don't see us as being lucky! It is all relative, there will always be people who earn more than others and who look to be comfortable but comparison is the their of joy and quite honestly at the moment I would take a lower household income just to ensure my DH is alive in 2 years!

I'm a single parent and my income has ballooned massively in the last few years. But I'd say where we stopped feeling the pinch was

• around £60,000 (monthly income 3,500ish after pension)
• with £1,100 going on rent
• 1 DS, and 1 disabled adult family member who lives with us and needs financial support for various reasons.

That gave us enough to live a 'nice' life, holiday etc without worrying every time I tapped my card!

After that I stuck to the £3,500 religiously and buried anything more as my earnings increased to save for a house deposit. We're now about to buy a house with a much higher salary/mortgage payments but if class that as more than comfortable.

1. £230k pa gross or £11k pm net plus bonuses between us
2. mortgage £1750pm
3. 2 kids both school age
4. yes, very. However my job in particular is so stressful I can’t see me lasting another 10yrs at it so trying to save a lot & over pay mortgage to give me the flexibility to take a big step back when it gets too much

Income : C£7.5k take home per month
Mortgage : c£800 (will go up to £900ish when low fixed rate ends in Jan)
DC : 11 and 8

Very comfortable, we’re more than half way through a 25 yr mortgage and would be much more pressed to buy the same house today (bought at the start of 2011 when prices were at their lowest, value has more than doubled). We toy with the idea of moving somewhere much nicer but an additional mortgage of say £300k would cost an absolutely fortune over the remaining term and seriously impact our standard of living.

We don’t have a lot of savings (my salary (I’m the main earner) has more than doubled in the last 4 years) and so far we’ve chosen to mainly spend on home improvements and holidays but do have c £2,000 left over in a good month to put towards a pot for either savings, holidays or home improvements.

Monthly take home - £2800 - single parent.
Mortgage £566
1 DC aged 16
Comfortable - not yet. I pay £10k a year school fees so it's a bit tight but DS is in the 6th form and the end is in sight. Mortgage is nearly paid off too. My life should get much easier in 2026.🤗

What’s your household income?
£68k

What’s your monthly mortgage payment?
£490 for 4 bed detached - Not in the south!

How many children do you have?
2

How financially comfortable are you?
Comfortable. I don’t worry about money, though we are frugal and try and make savings where we can. We aim to pay off our mortgage before we’re 50 in the next 6 years and should be able to do it. After that we should be able to save about £2k a month.

My best advice would be to live within your means. I have 26k in savings currently and each month I add about £1500 to it. That’s to over pay on the mortgage. I could blow it on a fancy new car, but I want to get rid of the mortgage first and not have to pay as much interest. We’re all different but being brought up without a pot to piss in, I know how hard things can be. Good luck OP.

We have one at uni and one younger teen. We both earn more now than when the kids were more expensive (nursery fees).

My advice would be to live (well) within your means, maintain your own earning power and to not live in your dh's village. Having mil on your doorstep may blur boundaries.

We have generally paid +70% into our mortgage and so it will be paid off in our late 40's.

They say having money doesn't bring happiness. However, not having money worries prevents stress and unhappiness.

Yes, I appreciate your wise words.

Actually the reason we are hoping to move is so we can live near my partner’s mum. She doesn’t work and can help with children. The village she lives in is expensive though so it will mean a large mortgage.

I take home around £2000, DH around £2700. We also receive Child Benefit at £238 every 3 weeks. We have 3 DC aged 16, 13 and 11.

Mortgage of £1500 (we have only just managed to buy), but no other high outgoings such as car finance.

We consider ourselves very comfortable. It wasn't like this even 2 years ago, when we were in a very tricky place.

Ooo can you speak more about the MIL on the doorstep bit. It seems like a really bonus to us. She’s lovely and helpful. Am I being naive?

quite honestly at the moment I would take a lower household income just to ensure my DH is alive in 2 years!

Then why don't you @twistyizzy ?

Dh being sat on his laptop on holiday, at xmas and every night whilst having panic attacks sounds like an absolutely miserable existence for everyone. I can't imagine any household income or luxury that would be worth that.

Because partly he is very driven so to an extent has chosen this and partly it means a pension pot to enable retirement at 58. I was just responding to a PP who said people with higher incomes are lucky.

My mil is lovely too. Extremely helpful. However, when you have your own kids, you might appreciate a bit of space. Maybe it's me. There are plenty of Mumsnet posts which suggest otherwise though. 😉

Be wary about making commitments that are dependent on help from a relative.

I have a friend who is currently having huge difficulties making work and childcare work because her DM, who did a lot of wraparound childcare for her, died suddenly in her early 60s.

It sounds unlikely and morbid, but if your MIL was unavailable for whatever reason then what would your backup plan be if you're in a small village with limited alternatives in convenient locations?

Monthly take home: £5,800
Mortgage: £900
DC: 2
Comfortable: As mad as it sounds, right now, no!

Several unavoidable large costs at once mean we've burnt through our savings and had to put a few £k on credit cards. But with a few months' knuckling down we should soon be in a good position and able to start building some savings back up.

Monthly income £60k DH (maybe £3,500 net) and £1000 net per month from our investments
I’m a SAHM so no nursery costs
mortgage is £900
comfortable ish, I really prioritise high quality meat/veg etc so our food bill is £1000 a month, we still manage one holiday and one mini break a year but I think to be truly comfortable we’d want another £1000 a month net

I also had the situation that a family member did our child care but suddenly and tragically passed away. Over and above the grief there was the very real consideration over one of us having to stop working.

I was just responding to a PP who said people with higher incomes are lucky

There always is an element of luck though isn't there, regardless of your situation.

Your dh, for instance, is incredibly lucky to have a wife so accepting of his disengagement from family life due to his 'drive' and 'choice'.

There are many men who'd be having their panic attacks alone in a one bed flat, after the wife had divorced him 🤷‍♀️

Really? Where have I said he is disengaged with family life? This has only happened in the last 6 years or so, as his salary has risen exponentially.
It really irks me that people think 100K salaries are achieved by someone putting in a few hours work behind a computer each day. They are usually high level, highly stressed roles with expectations way above 9-5, hence the salary.

No sympathy required but just an acknowledgement that luck has very little to do with it! He could have stayed in a considerably less demanding 35K role but we made the choice together for him to progress and therefore i am supporting him, knowing what that would involve. Long term it means financial stability for us as a family, early and secure retirement and savings in the bank but yeh it's not easy and definitely not down to luck.

Annual income £140k
Mortgage £1200 per month
No children
Very comfortable
Also, both mid50s, it wasn’t always like this

@twistyizzy i assume PP knows all about luck or bad luck considering she is widowed with two children to support herself. Seems a bit crass to be complaining about your husbands work hours which he has chosen causing his health issues when PP doesn’t have that privilege. I imagine she knows exactly what hard work is raising her children alone

Household is £130k
Monthly pay for two incomes around £6k a month after pensions etc
Mortgage £1900 with 15 odd years still on it
3 teenagers
We can afford to live a decent life. But we're not rolling in spare cash each month.

And I never said she didn't! I was merely responding to a comment that everyone quoting high salaries was lucky.
Luck very much depends which side you are viewing from and your starting position.

Thank you! There were a lot of dark days but I'm so happy now! I would rather have a smaller home and do things- I think as a mother I'm glad we have a lovely home but I love the security of saving and I love being able to take DD on holiday and for days out.

1: 78k per year
2: our mortgage is £1,300 a month (south)
3: two school age
4: comfortable? Well we don't have to worry about food and heating but we can't afford a yearly holiday and my car is 12 years old