4 Questions: What’s your household income? What’s your monthly mortgage cost? How many kids do you have? How financially comfortable are you?

[OrangeCarrot]

1. What’s your household income?
2. What’s your monthly mortgage payment?
3. How many children do you have?
4. How financially comfortable are you?

I’m in need of some perspective. I’m planning for marriage/kids/house purchase over the next 2 years. I’ve been planning for this time for 10 years now and my partner and I have lived frugally through our 20s to get to this point.

I want to make sensible life choices so was hoping to learn from others that are perhaps a little older and more experienced. I was hoping these questions may give me an insight into how big a mortgage we should get and still have a good quality of life.

I was asking people not to be so snide about high earners.
Absolutely nothing to do with people being widowed or not which is an entirely different point that was being made.
More than one thing can be true at once.

This saves our asses too more than once in the past. Never over extended ourselves on the mortgage and overpaid when we could. Always ensured that we could afford the bills on one of our incomes.
Redundancy, Maternity Leaves (SMP only), failed start up business, my part time wages after kids, we always managed to stay on top of our bills. Even when we could live in bigger houses or nicer areas, we didn't.

Could you please point out who was being snide?

Net income £4041.35 monthly
mortgage £590
4 children (but 2 are non dependant)
comfortable but frivolous, should save more.

eta I’m a single parent, mid 40s

Household Income - 180k (not including our son who lives with us on around 25k and puts some monthly into the bills)
Take-home - around 9k (Recently changed job and waiting to see exactly how that impacts us)
Mortgage - £450 but overpayed since we got it a few years ago, looking to move in the next 12 months so expect this to go up substantially
2 children, one 20s and one a teenager

We have had no inheritance, and built up debt while retraining for better paid careers so have been focused on paying that off (2 months to go) and then when really need to save and pay more into pensions as we're both in our 40s, so I feel we are fairly behind the curve from a savings standpoint. We live well below our means but I know we always have the salary to come back to if there is an emergency. So I would say we feel pretty comfortable from that respect.

It's difficult to say before you have children if you can afford them. For example, I work 3 days a week and my take home is £3100 a month. My husband works F/T and he takes home around £4000 (maybe a little more) a month. With over £7k p/m you'd think we'd be very well off.

But we've recently gone through an exercise to find out where our money is going as we don't feel very well off. The reality is that we have over £1000 a month going out on therapies for our eldest, who has some developmental needs. The NHS wait lists are atrocious and we don't want to leave the issues while we wait for free support. We are super lucky we have that choice. If you add in childcare for my younger one plus food, utilities etc our monthly outgoings are high.

In the end, after everything, we have £1500 left. We're not struggling and appreciate we are in a good spot despite everything. But, if I didn't have a child that needed shuttling to appointments, I'd work more and so have more money coming in. And, if my eldest didn't need speech and occupational therapy we'd be up £1k every month.

The point is, we couldn't plan for this. And, both of our incomes have gone up but beforehand, we just made it work. We had to.

If you've saved and have been frugal until now, you'll likely be totally fine. You can't totally plan for every eventuality though.

I know plenty of people earning significantly more than £100k (myself and DH included). No panic attacks, no huge sacrifices, no crazy hours, no drama. It sounds like the problem lies more with your DH either not being up to the job or not being able to cope with the stress of it. There's no point planning for a future when you are living life in a way that you are risking not having a future.

Our take home is about £4500. Our mortgage is £670 (lucked out by taking a 5-year deal at 1.7% not long before Trussgate) Two kids, one still in childcare, the other just started school. We don't struggle. But I work part-time and one day is at the weekend to minimise childcare costs.

OK thanks for that I will tell him. Maybe when you next reach for medication you will thank my husband for being legally responsible for the sign off of that medication. He signs of millions of ££ of medication each year and yes is legally responsible if something goes wrong. That's where the stress comes from, nothing to do with his incompetence in the job, in fact its the complete opposite.

You sound in awe. Sorry I don’t share that. It’s a job and it sounds like he needs some perspective.

I'm very proud of all the work it has taken him to get there including doing a PhD alongside a full time job. I'm proud that what he does saves lives but I don't like the amount of stress with him being legally responsible if a drug fails.
I'm not "in awe" and you can stop patronising me thanks.

Actually I've changed my mind. I am in awe of him.
Born in NE mining town decimated by Thatcher. Very low employment. First in his family to finish education at 16 and go to Uni then do a Masters and PhD whilst working full time. Worked his way up to 6 figure salary in an area where that is not a normal salary. Now doing what he does so that we never have to be in the same position as his parents were ie scratching around for coppers and using pawn shops. That's why he is driven to work at the level he is doing, he wants his family to have a better life than he did
So actually yeh, me with my MC background who had a much easier upbringing and life, is a bit in awe of him!
That's why I support him 100% even though I work full time and always have done myself.
Next time you pick a prescription up you can thank him that it is safe to use because his job and career is over if it isn't!

Different perspectives I suppose. I have a friend who is the CEO of a bit pharmaceutical group. That is where the buck really stops with regard to drug safety. They are serious about their job and take their responsibility seriously but manage to have a balanced life and are far from being on the edge of a nervous breakdown. I am sorry to burst an self-importance bubbles but I highly doubt that the safety of a particular prescription I would pick up would have any direct relationship to your DH.

Look up the role of a QP. They are legally responsible

I can appreciate you’re very proud of your husband @twistyizzy, but shall we just leave it now and keep the thread on track. Xx

Ah well as you "know someone" I will defer to your vastly superior knowledge and tell him tonight that he is incompetent as you have stated and that he needs to check his over inflated view of his own self importance.

Ah well as you "know someone" I will defer to your vastly superior knowledge and tell him tonight that he is incompetent as you have stated and that he needs to check his over inflated view of his own self importance.

Chippy but best drop it, it's boring. BTW mine's a surgeon and I certainly don't pander to his importance and I think it is safe to say that job is life and death.

Take home income £7k per month after pension and SAYE contributions.
Mortgage £780 pcm. LTV low due to inheritance, I’d rather have my dad though.
2 primary age children in state school.
We have a comfortable lifestyle - nice cars, multiple holidays and no debt other than the mortgage. We’re very fortunate.

read the room!! The woman is widowed and not very well off. You have a husband on 100k FFS.

£5k take home a month

Mortgage £932 a month (we're on 1.64% and that will go up in 2026)

2 children, 1 in reception, the other 15 months so fairly high childcare costs still due to wraparound care

We are financially okay but there it always something to buy and so we have to budget very carefully. We're also very careful not to have any debt which means we have to be very strict!

Well this thread has made me feel like a complete peasant 🤣😭

Me too.

However, I left a very well-paid job and my marriage with only a hold-all and my laptop (and a restraining order on ex-h).

In the 4 years since that happened, no I don't have a highly paying job anymore, no I don't have a dh to rely on. I often live hand-to-mouth, which is not good in my mid-50s. Those saying these things are down to hard work etc are only partly right. An awful lot comes down to life making the right turns for you too.

Sorry to hear about your husband I hope things get better for you soon to answer the ops questions my household income is 22k, rent 800 and I have one child.

Somehow I didn't think I was THAT broke before opening this thread so is it that Ive surrounded myself by fellow peasants in real life or is it true people grossly exaggerate their wealth on Mumsnet? Food for thought haha

Somehow I didn't think I was THAT broke before opening this thread so is it that Ive surrounded myself by fellow peasants in real life or is it true people grossly exaggerate their wealth on Mumsnet? Food for thought haha

No exaggeration from me, but we earned below average and average for many years before we earned the kind of figures we earn now and I probably wouldn't have answered on threads like these before, I've found income and how people spend it much more interesting the older I've got and earned more myself. My family and friends would be much closer to average. Threads like this create bias.